>"...because why on earth would you make people stop to parse a sentence they didn't have to?"

Indeed! I never understand how this is not the guiding principle above all others. Of course what confuses readers changes over time -- apparently no one is confused by misuse of "that" for "who" anymore, oh, the humanity! and pluralizing the noun instead of just whipping out the singular "they" in every case is seen as pedantic ("he/she" and "s/he" died unmourned, even by me, while no one was looking) -- but surely reader comprehension should be the guiding light!