Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/dont-bring-problems-without-solutions-coworker-is-upset-that-i-got-the-promotion-he-wanted-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34240

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions

Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems?

I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that they don’t want people to complain to them about minor issues that could be solved with direct communication. However, I feel like if people take this advice literally, they won’t report actual problems.

Recently, my team had an issue where two employees were repeatedly shouting at each other in meetings. In this case, a manager did witness one of the incidents, so it was addressed without a peer needing to escalate. Presumably, if the manager wasn’t around to see it, they would still want to hear about it. It was pretty stressful for the rest of the team and impacted productivity. I don’t know how to make people stop shouting at each other. I don’t even really know why they were shouting at each other because the last thing I wanted to do is become personally involved in the conflict. Am I actually supposed to brainstorm possible solutions to things like this before I can tell my manager? If I can’t think of any, do I just ignore the problem?

Yeah, “don’t bring me problems, only solutions” is a good way for managers to ensure they don’t hear about problems they actually need to know about, or at least not until those problems have festered and grown worse. And in many cases, employees have neither the standing nor the resources to solve the problem at hand; it’s a manager’s job to do that.

It’s true that in some cases it makes sense to ask people to think about how to solve a problem rather than just dumping it on their manager’s lap, and it can be a way to help them develop skills and expertise, but it absolutely doesn’t apply across the board. Sometimes a problem will be above your pay grade, or could cause legal issues, or you simply don’t have the ability to solve it on your own.

2. I want to talk to a person, not ChatGPT

I have a very 2025 question. In my role, we’re the client of an agency that has two people working on our file. One of the two people is new to the workforce, and her responses are always straight from ChatGPT. I can tell she has plugged my emails in and copy-pasted an AI reply, which does not always make sense and always sounds robotic. Along with not really taking ownership of mistakes (and I think the AI use means she makes a lot of them) and responding in a very generic way, it is driving me nuts.

How do I handle this? I don’t find she properly reads my emails (missing information, getting times wrong, not responding to questions), and I have to wonder how much her use of AI is contributing to this issue. But obviously, I can’t prove it. The other person on our file is more senior, but not her manager. What do you think?

You’re the client; you have a ton of standing in this situation to push back! You could do that on three fronts: first and foremost, when the agency rep sends you something that doesn’t make sense or is overly generic, you should point out that it doesn’t make sense / doesn’t address what you were asking for. And if she’s not taking ownership of mistakes, you can push back on that, too — “I’m concerned that X happened; what’s the plan for making sure that doesn’t happen again?” Second, you could talk to the more senior person there and share your concerns (“I’ve been getting responses from Jane that don’t make sense and don’t include any nuance; my hunch is she’s using ChatGPT but I don’t know for sure — either way, we’re not getting what we need”). Third, you could talk to whoever is in charge of your contract with the agency and let them know you’re not getting what you need from the agency team.

You could do all or any of these — but you should definitely speak up, because they’re getting paid to provide you with a service that they’re currently doing badly.

3. My coworker is upset that I got the promotion he wanted

A coworker and I recently applied for the same position as a supervisor. We both have been filling in as interim supervisors and we both have been told we did well in that role. He admittedly has more experience than me in nearly every category and is much older than me. I’m 30 and he’s 50. I feel like I’ve been kinda being groomed for the position as the director has been letting me fill in more than my coworker, although he still does a good job. We weren’t close before this, but we were at least casually friendly.

I think he felt he was a a shoo-in for this position but he didn’t get it, I did, and he is pissed. It’s been a couple of months now and he doesn’t talk to anyone unless he absolutely has to. If I speak to him, he will reply but it’s very curt and he won’t give me eye contact. Normally he just finds an excuse to leave the room if I walk in. In his defense, he still does very good work, it hasn’t slipped at all and I’m not his direct supervisor, nor is the director who we interviewed with. The director did not follow up with him but I wish she would have. We were hoping that he would stay on to still fill in as needed, but he informed us that he felt that was a slap in the face and was not interested. We spoke to his manager, but her response was, “He’s doing fine with me and his work isn’t suffering” so basically deal with it. Is there anything I can do to maybe salvage how we were before?

Well, his manager really should talk to him. He doesn’t need to be chatty and gregarious with you, but it’s not okay to be curt either. Plus, she has someone on her team who’s clearly demoralized; that’s not something she should just ignore with, “Well, his work is still fine.”

But since she’s not going to intervene, there’s not a lot you can do. You should continue being warm, friendly, and professional, of course, but this sounds like something he’s going to need to work through on his own time.

(Also, there are managers messing up all over the place here! What’s up with the hiring manager for this position not talking to him about the decision? It sounds like there are some bad management role models around you right now, which is worth being aware of as you’re learning the job.)

4. Is our director recording us?

I work in a small office. Outside of the usual IT security, there is no known surveillance to monitor employee conduct or conversation. However, our executive director frequently makes comments about “hearing everything in the office,” whether they are there or not. We all think it’s a little strange, but what’s concerning is the inconsistency of how their door is left when they leave the office. Their office overlooks our cubicles and when they leave, sometimes the door is shut. Other times it is fully open, and at other times (particularly when they will be out of the office for an extended period of time) it is cracked about an inch. Thoughts?

I think you’re reading way too much into how their door is positioned. If they’ve told you they hear everything in the office and that seems to be true, even things they shouldn’t have been aware of, then you might be right that some kind of surveillance is going on, but I wouldn’t assume the door is a particular indicator of that.

You could also just ask outright what they mean the next time they mention hearing everything. (Who knows, maybe they just mean sound travels more than you realize and they hear conversations people don’t realize can be overheard.)

But for what it’s worth, if they are recording you without your knowledge, there might be legal issues with that. Employers are generally allowed to record employees but in most states need to inform them that they’re being monitored, so you should check your employee handbook or any written policies to see what might be in there.

The post “don’t bring problems without solutions,” coworker is upset that I got the promotion he wanted, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/dont-bring-problems-without-solutions-coworker-is-upset-that-i-got-the-promotion-he-wanted-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34240