Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/should-i-tell-my-boss-im-dropping-out-of-the-promotion-process-because-their-expectations-are-ridiculous.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32196

A reader writes:

I’m a senior engineer working for a major multinational company. We have ongoing problems with filling more senior engineering roles. We have far more vacancies than applicants. My line manager has been suggesting I apply for promotion for several years, so I have agreed to start the process to move up to the “lead engineer” grade. Now I want to drop out as I really dislike the process.

To be considered for promotion I need to:
1) Complete a guided assessment demonstrating “how I exemplify company values” (my answers are currently at 14 pages)
2) Get written testimonials from 8-10 colleagues and customers (!) with positive comments and saying they think I’m ready for promotion
3) Do a 10-minute presentation to a promotion panel followed by a interview where I have to “really sell myself”

In the main advice offered for the process, they say they are not looking for “nuts and bolts” answers, they are looking for people “to really shine.”

I don’t want to engage with this process any further. I think it’s totally cringe. I am very uncomfortable with the idea of the selling myself to the required level or asking people to provide feedback filled with praise.

This isn’t imposter syndrome. I am literally already doing the lead engineer role on several projects. I am confident I can do the role.

I think blowing your own trumpet is vulgar. I think that hyping yourself up is vulgar. I think nagging people to provide positive feedback is vulgar. I am not happy about conducting myself in this manner.

While I understand that all jobs do contain a certain amount of corporate BS, this is an optional process which makes me really uncomfortable.

Should I tell the bosses the real reason why I’m dropping out of the process or should I just make vague excuses about this not being the right time?

Tell them.

It’s ridiculous that they have senior vacancies sitting open and they’re making people who are already known quantities jump through these hoops.

To be clear, I don’t agree that blowing your own horn is always inherently vulgar. There are ways to do it that are, for sure — anything overly sales or smarmy sets alarm bells off for me — but “blowing your own horn” can also include just talking about your approach to work and what you’ve achieved. It’s normal to need to do some of that when you want to move up at work (whether internally or in an outside company). But the specifics of what they’re asking for are excessive. 8-10 written testimonials? Asking customers to write letters saying you’re ready for promotion? (How would customers even know? They don’t know what various levels in your company look like.)

Most importantly, your company already knows you and your work, far more intimately than they’d ever know the work of an outside candidate. (Although for the record, this would be too much to ask of an outside candidate, as well.) They can just look at your work and accomplishments and talk to your manager and your colleagues. Choosing to instead ask all of this from you comes across as making you jump through hoops for the sake of jumping through hoops — and that would be a bad idea under any circumstances, but it’s particularly ridiculous when they can’t fill the senior roles they want you to do this for.

So yes, tell your bosses. Say it’s an enormous amount of work and hyping yourself up when they already know you and your work, and while you’d be happy to be considered for promotion — particularly since you know they need the role filled — you’re turned off by the process and will be opting out.

The post should I tell my boss I’m dropping out of the promotion process because their expectations are ridiculous? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/should-i-tell-my-boss-im-dropping-out-of-the-promotion-process-because-their-expectations-are-ridiculous.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32196

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/i-think-my-assistant-lies-about-her-days-off.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=31949

A reader writes:

I have a job that relies heavily on admin support. I have had the same assistant for a few years now. She’s great, works hard, and is pleasant to work with. I try to be a good boss.

However, I think she lies to me occasionally, almost always about reasons to take days off. For example, she had a migraine on her birthday recently. I don’t care if she wants to take her birthday off, and I’m not in charge of her sick days / vacation days / etc. (that is managed by HR). I have to approve days off, but I have never said no or pushed back at all.

What I think are the occasional lies erode my trust a little bit, and trust is important to what we do. I have no particular desire to confront her but having noticed this pattern. Do you think that I should? I do not feel like I have an obligation to my partners to do so, for example. I do not think she’s stealing time or anything like that. But it feels like a bit of a fly in the ointment of an otherwise very solid working relationship.

I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

Other questions I’m answering there today include:

• Our leadership meetings are obsessed with talking about drinking
• Should I apologize for my fly being down?
• Should I reply to “thanks!” emails?

The post I think my assistant lies about her days off appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/i-think-my-assistant-lies-about-her-days-off.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=31949