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metafilter_feed) wrote2025-12-03 08:02 pm"I've made a lot of special modifications myself"
He has also used the Millennium Falcon kit to build four other Star Wars battlecraft, no wait seven, no wait 19.
metafilter_feed) wrote2025-12-03 07:37 pmCurse your sudden but inevitable betrayal
Busting the oft seen claim that self driving cars and Waymo specifically are good for other road users because they obey the law. Shocked not shocked that someplaces, including California, have no mechanism in place to charge autonomous vehicles with traffic violations neutering the already minimal enforcement effectiveness.
askamanager_feed) wrote2025-12-03 06:59 pmupdate: can I ask my coworkers to tell me to shut up when I’m talking too much?
It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
Remember the letter-writer wondering if they could ask their coworkers to tell them to shut up when they were talking too much? Here’s the update.
I was the person who wrote in a moment of desperation trying to figure out how to stop myself from endlessly talking with/at coworkers and posed the idea of having a button made to tell people to tell me to hush (you know it was bad times when that sounded like a good idea).
Warning for context to anyone who goes back and reads the original post, my original letter was written on a really bad day during one of our peak busy times so I was writing from a more desperate / stressed / frustrated / burned out place and ended up asking the wrong thing (asked how to make a very poorly thought-out solution work rather than asking for better ideas).
The actual update. I appreciated the comments on both sides, especially those who got at what I was really needing over what I asked and gave not insane ideas/suggestions. It was nice to feel the support and be reminded that ADHD is indeed a disability, not shameful personal failings (as long as you are honestly putting in effort to do better). But it was also good to see more critical perspectives as a reminder that disability/struggles do not reduce your personal responsibility to manage yourself and perceptions are still a thing.
One of the biggest ideas from the comments that has helped was breaking down and getting the smart watch I had been avoiding. I got a super cheap $20 one without all the bells and whistles and thus none of the extra distractions I was worried about. It has hourly movement reminders and I set “Whatcha dooin’ “alarms to go off every half hour during the workdays so I do not have to fiddle with setting timers, unexpected conversations, or misjudging how long a conversation will need to be. The alarm also has the option for up to three five-minute snoozes so I can start wrapping up or set up the back up timer. So far, it really seems to be working well and also helps pull me back when I need to move on from other things.
Added bonus: if I am at my desk when it goes off, I drink some water so have been well hydrated.
I also have been doing a variation of the water bottle idea by trying to carry my eInk tablet or something I have to carry, but is not satisfying to fiddle with if I know I am going to talk to someone. I can use it to jot something down or check existing notes, but I get annoyed not being able to use my hands so it reminds me to move on or, if things are heading to something bigger, cutting things off and suggesting a meeting with the relevant people.
If it is near lunch or the end of day, I have also taken to using my cats as a politer exit. I got a new kitten so try to not be out too long since he is relegated to a single room by himself until he clears an infection and his sister learns to not orange cat smack at the gate when he looks at her or tries to bring her toys. Realize a conversation is running too long, but otherwise would feel too rude to end? “Sorry, Adrikins will be starting to get fussy if I do not get home soon and I do not want to torture my neighbor.”
Are things magically perfect now and I never talk too much? Absolutely not, but catching myself two of five times is still better than it was so I will take it because clearly, I cannot keep anything concise lol.
Cat tax:
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heartsfate) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fandom_icons2025-12-03 01:13 pm159 Icons from S2 E1 "Sir Pentious" of Hazbin Hotel
[5] Angel Dust
[6] Baxter
[5] Chaggi (Charlie & Vaggi)
[18] Charlie
[2] Cherri Bomb
[2] Heaven
[4] Husker
[11] Lucifier
[6] Morningstars (Lucifir & Charlie)
[4] Niffty
[2] Staticdoll (Velvette & Vox)
[3] Staticmoth (Valentino & Vox)
[1] Angel, Charlie & Vaggi
[1] The Vees
[12] The Sinner from Trust Us
[2] Vaggi
[22] Valentino
[17] Velvette
[29] Vox
[2] Valentino's drawing of Vox
Previews:
(Trust Us)
runpunkrun) wrote2025-12-03 10:07 amThe Ghosts of Ashbury High, by Jaclyn Moriarty
Contains: references to child harm and sexual abuse; homelessness; underage drinking; suicide attempt; dementia.
rachelmanija) wrote2025-12-03 09:54 amDeep and Dark and Dangerous, by Mary Downing Hahn
Thirteen-year-old Ali gets a chance to spend the summer with her aunt Dulcie and five-year-old cousin Emma at the family's long-abandoned lakefront property - over the strong objections of Ali's mother, who hates the lake. Ali is delighted to babysit Emma and get out from under her mom's over-protective thumb. But why do both her mother and Dulcie act so weird about the lake and their past there? Who's the mysterious girl who was ripped out of old family photos? And what's up with Sissy, the strange girl who hangs out at the lake and encourages Emma to behave badly and blame it on Ali?
Sissy's real identity won't come as a surprise to any readers over the age of 10, but there are some genuinely chilling moments and Hahn's trademark realistic family dynamics and exploration of guilty secrets and how parents' childhood trauma gets passed down to their children. I actually got stressed out reading about Ali trying to protect Emma while Dulcie blames Ali for all the weird stuff going on and accuses Ali of refusing to take responsibility for anything. (In fact, Dulcie and Ali's mom are the ones who are failing to take responsibility and projecting it on the kids.)
A good solid middle-grade ghost story with unusually complex family dynamics.
metafilter_feed) wrote2025-12-03 05:05 pmA visual representation of what is valued in a society.
Personally, I think I like Absence Adorned best.
metafilter_feed) wrote2025-12-03 04:48 pmComing in at a massive $0.003 per stream
Meanwhile, Tidal pays artists the most and has a really nice student plan.
runpunkrun) wrote in fandomcalendar2025-12-03 09:34 amFancake Theme for December: Amnesty
fancake is a thematic recommendation community where all members are welcome to post recs, and fanworks of all shapes and sizes are accepted. Check out the community guidelines for the full set of rules. This theme runs for the entire month. If you have any questions, just ask!
askamanager_feed) wrote2025-12-03 05:29 pmis my new hire working a second job during our workday?
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
A reader writes:
I have a newer employee who isn’t doing well. She has another job that I think she works at while on breaks, and I believe it’s causing distractions (and long lunch hours). She’s never actually told me about it but her cell phone voicemail is set for it. Do I bring up the other job when I am discussing her mediocre performance with her?
I answer this question — and three others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.
Other questions I’m answering there today include:
- How to respond to vague expressions of interest in our program
- Telling employees they can’t bring a plus-one to our holiday party
The post is my new hire working a second job during our workday? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
askamanager_feed) wrote2025-12-03 03:59 pmupdate: managing a team that resists any change and complains constantly
It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
Remember the letter-writer in HR who had recently brought in a new manager, Barbara, to manage a team that was resisting any change and complained constantly? Here’s the update.
First, Barbara is no longer with our organization. Due to some troubling behavior that was witnessed by multiple people (myself included), and given the nature of Barbara’s actions during her short time with us, we all felt this just wasn’t a good culture fit and parted ways.
Since then, we’ve brought in a new manager who has taken the team by storm in all the good ways! We did sit the team down after Barbara’s departure and talk through some of the issues we had noticed, and after digging deeper, it seems a lot of the pushback was due more in part to Barbara’s management style, which was such a radically different style than what the team needed. We even uncovered some additional troubling interactions between Barbara and some of our vendors and customers, which has really opened our eyes to the real problem actually being Barbara all along, unfortunately.
During that sit-down, however, we did still talk about things that the team needed to be open to with any manager that they get, and they all seemed very receptive to it. Quite frankly, the issues they’d brought up with both of their previous managers really just stemmed from inadequacies on the managers’ parts that we couldn’t see from the upper management point of view (and the team was unsure of how to voice it and/or too nervous to bring it up to upper management), and so we are making some changes on our end to make sure this doesn’t happen again!
All that said, the new manager we brought in is just as much of a go-getter, but more of a team player and collaborator than Barbara was, which is exactly what this team needed! Barbara was the “it’s my way or the highway” type with no input really being allowed from her staff, whereas the new manager (let’s call her Sara) has taken the time to see how things are done first before making recommendations for any changes, and bases a lot of her decisions on what the team feels would be beneficial (within reason). As far as the team wanting other departments to do things that are clearly in the title of their department goes? Seems to be a non-issue now! Sara has really lit the fire under everyone on the team and re-invigorated the necessity of them to provide these services, and leads with encouragement and collaboration instead of an iron fist masked by kind demeanor and surface-level gratitude for perception‘s sake.
All seems to be smooth sailing for now! We are so grateful to have found Sara after everything this team has been through over the last few years! There’s still been a few hiccups as there usually are, but everyone’s really finding their stride!
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