Posted by Lorenzo Marquez

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Yesterday, a faithful yuletide wife! Today, a mourning holiday mother. We’re sorry again! As we noted with the first sad frock in this calendar, Christmas stories can be sad and full of the dead. In fact, some of the very best Christmas stories are about grief and guilt and depression. In director Alexander Payne’s The Holdovers, all of the main characters are hurt people who feel or are made to feel like the world is moving on without them. Da’Vine Joy Randolph plays Mary, a cafeteria worker at an elite New England boarding school for boys. She’s stuck at the school for the holidays along with abandoned child Angus (Dominic Sessa) and the universally unliked teacher punished with babysitting him during the holiday (Paul Giamatti). She’s still in mourning over the son killed in Vietnam and his uniform is extremely prominent when she picks out the dress for the neighborhood Christmas party all three of them have been invited to.

As we’ve noted before, you should always pay attention to a costume when the filmmaker has decided to show you the character picking it out and putting it on. Characters usually wear multiple costumes throughout the course of a film but usually there’s only one chosen for a scene like this. It tells you that this is an important garment, either to the wearer or to the story. In this case, we’d say it’s both, because it tells you something about Mary’s grief as well as the community which surrounds her. Unfortunately, like all three of the mains, Mary simply isn’t ready to join society again and the party becomes a sad affair for her as she has a little too much to drink and winds up wallowing in her grief.

What we love most about this costume is the lack of condescension. She is a depressed, poor, Black plus-size woman who has a breakdown at a mostly white Christmas party. The impulse to put her in something sad or worn or hopelessly out of style would have been great, but instead, costume designer Wendy Chuck chose to clothe her in a legitimately nice dress that looks good on her. A less imaginative take would have had her standing there in something that made her stand out from the other guests; something that more overtly signaled her size or her economic status or her race; something that would have turned her into an object of pity. But the tragedy of this scene is that Mary is surrounded by her community at a time of fellowship and hospitality. She belongs here, but she can’t stay here because her grief is too great. Like the other main characters in this film, her sadness has her stuck in a place somewhat outside of the community, longing for a way to get back to it. Those earrings and that necklace? That’s Mary trying her best.

Tomorrow: Pure Christmas sex!

[Photo/Still Credit: Focus Features]

• Costumes
• Da’Vine Joy Randolph
• Focus Features
• Movie Advent Calendar
• Movie Costumes
• The Holdovers

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Posted by Lorenzo Marquez

https://tomandlorenzo.com/2025/12/t-lounge-for-december-17th-2025/

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Gloria Osteria Restaurant – Milan, Italy

Wakey, wakey! It’s WEDNESDAY and the full force of everything we have to do before Lorenzo’s family arrives for Christmas hit us as soon as we woke up today. We’re freaking out and we need full stimulation for the day ahead; hence, today’s big, bold and bright LOunge. Settle in while the cookie dough is chilling and one of us makes a beer run. We promise we have tons of distractions for you today, including a podcast.

42 New Year’s Eve movies to ring in 2026
Say goodbye to 2025 — we know you want to.
So long, 2025, we certainly won’t miss you. It’s time to enter a new era — but there’s more than one way to usher in the new year. If you’re not planning to kiss anyone at midnight, might we suggest staying home and watching New Year’s Eve movies?
Christmas movies get all the hype — and there’s certainly a bunch more of them — but there’s something much more romantic about the days that follow, as everyone prepares to put the stress of the holidays behind them and make a bunch of plans and resolutions for the next year that they may or may not complete. You may think that’s a dig, but what’s wrong with a bit of daydreaming even without guarantees?
That’s what’s so charming about so many of these New Year’s Eve movies, which don’t always center around the countdown to a big romantic gesture. Eat Pray Love perfectly captures the feeling of starting over while George Clooney and co. set their alarms to rob a casino at midnight in Ocean’s 11.

As a Lover of Coffee and Red Wine, I’ve Been Searching High and Low for the Best Whitening Toothpastes—These 6 Do the Job
The search for the best whitening toothpaste has been a part of my beauty journey for as long as I can remember. Before they became commonplace on the shelves of Boots and Superdrug, I remember always picking up packs and packs of Crest’s Whitening Strips whenever I travelled to the US—but no more; you can find all manner of whitening toothpastes at home.
There’s a lot of choice on the market, from heavy-duty formulas to more minimalist, but equally effective, options. I tend to prefer the latter, so whitening toothpastes that do the job well, but also look chic beside my sink. Luckily, as part of my job, I have been testing all the whitening toothpastes I can get my hands on over the past year, and through much trial and error, I have found the best of both worlds. Get the lowdown and a dentist’s top tips, ahead.

This Little Known (but Award-Winning) K-Beauty Brand Has Just Restored My Dehydrated Winter Skin
As of late, few things are more prolific in the skincare world than K-beauty brands. And just when it seems as though I’ve tried them all, a new promising launch finds its way to me—the latest of which is a brand that’s still fairly under the radar, but which I can guarantee will soon become one of the most sought-after on the market: haruharu wonder.

How to Tell Your Family You’re Not Going Home for Christmas
7 simple, guilt-free steps for navigating one of Christmas’ trickiest conversations
I’ve long suspected Hollywood might be the root cause of all social expectations—and, as such, social anxiety. Much as I adore the show, I think Sex and the City gave us an unrealistic idea of friendship, and Friends—well, let me just say that not once in my adult life have I breakfasted with my mates before work, and not through lack of want. At no other time do I feel the disconnect between the relationships that films conditioned me to expect than at Christmas. For decades—a century, really—pop culture has been peddling the idea that Christmas means one thing: family.

There’s no such thing as a ‘natural birth’ so why are women still shamed for having caesareans?
Caesareans have overtaken vaginal births in England for the first time. The ‘too posh to push’ tabloid headlines followed.
The trope of the ‘natural birth’ has been in our vocabulary for at least a century – as just another harmful expectation that weaves its way into the fabric of womanhood. More research is needed on this often-overlooked issue, but a recent US study into perceptions of birth found that 15% of new mothers who had an unplanned C-section felt feelings of “failure” afterwards.

How Intimacy Coordinators Became Such a Touchy Subject
Since the #MeToo era, they’ve been making intimate scenes easier for all involved. So why do some stars still eschew their services?
The opening scene of I Love LA finds Rachel Sennott’s character, Maia, convincingly mid-coitus, riding her boyfriend, Dylan ( Josh Hutcherson), while the earth beneath them shakes. Scenes like this require smoke and mirrors to make them believable, and intimacy coordinators like Yehuda Duenyas (who says he recently worked on I Love LA but was not involved with that opening) make them happen. He describes his role as, among other things, a cross between choreographer and stunt coordinator. “That’s the magic of what we do,” he says. Intimacy coordinators make intimacy look seamless—“the same way you don’t see the wires when someone is falling off a building, and you don’t see the crash mat…and all the stuff that goes into throwing someone out of a window.”

The Princess Of Wales And Princess Charlotte Step Out In Matching Christmas Bow Hairstyles
The royal mother-daughter duo have never looked more alike.
The Princess of Wales and her 10-year-old daughter Princess Charlotte have never looked more alike as they arrived at Buckingham Palace for the family’s annual Christmas lunch in identical festive hairstyles this week. The royals were spotted last night in matching half up-dos, complete with the traditional Christmas bow accessories. Kate Middleton opted for an oversized velvet head piece for the occasion, while Charlotte’s long lengths were adorned with a playful scarlet red knot.
While their choice of ribbons offer a glimpse at the full spectrum of differing seasonal hair ties, there’s no denying that the mother-daughter duo have never looked more alike. Not to mention, there may be some premeditation behind their differing style choices beyond their loosely coordinated appeal.

To Give or Not to Give a Gift Card: When Is It Acceptable?
Ahead of the holidays, we tapped an etiquette expert to settle the debate once and for all.
There once was a time when gift cards were frowned upon and deemed thoughtless, lazy, impersonal, even tacky. To give a prepaid certificate instead of a tangible object beautifully wrapped up in box and red ribbon? Unheard of.
As we move further into the 2020s—a time when the gifting world has become oversaturated and new interests are being discovered by the day on TikTok—the task of shopping for those hard-to-please loved ones is trickier than ever. Throw in the combination of our busy lives and a December full of back-to-back parties to the mix, who even has the time anymore?

21 Red Christmas Nails to Put a Timeless Twist on Your Holiday Mani
From lush red velvet nails to festive French tips.
While red and green are the traditional colors of Christmas, you can still embody the holiday spirit with a monochromatic take. Going red—arguably the most alluring of the two—is a striking way to approach a Christmas nail design and put a festive spin on red nail theory.
“Red nails are great because there are so many different shades and undertones that can be paired with any skin tone or personal preference,” Mazz Hanna, celebrity nail artist and CEO of Nailing Hollywood shares. “Red nails are truly timeless and chic.”

How to Do Hollywood Waves At Home, According to Pro Hair Stylists
Movie-star hair made easy.
If 2025 taught us anything, it’s that silver screen glamour is bigger than ever. Hollywood waves dominated red carpets this year, and heading into 2026, it’s one of the trendiest styles to recreate at home.
Plenty of hair trends aim for the effortlessly undone look (while taking an ironic amount of effort to achieve), but that’s not the case with Hollywood waves. This hairstyle is all about intentional shape, glossy movement, and loads of volume. The cascading shape feels ethereal and timeless, making Hollywood waves a popular choice for brides—but you really can’t go wrong with this look for any special occasion. Trust us, learning how to nail it at home will serve you well.

How Gen Z Is Quietly Rewriting the Rules of Wine
Data shows Gen Z’s rising engagement with wine is driven by lighter styles, values-focused buying habits, and tasting rooms that emphasize connection and transparency over traditional cues.
Gen Z’s approach to alcohol has evolved over the years, influenced by new alternatives, tighter budgets, and a different sense of what drinking should be. Wine is no longer the default choice; ready-to-drink cans, spirits, and nonalcoholic options are easier to understand and purchase. According to NielsenIQ’s Generations on Tap report, Gen Z accounts for just 9% of wine-buying households, and their purchases tend to be deliberate rather than habitual — 56% are pre-planned, and only 30% are intended for casual home enjoyment.

45 Holiday Cookie Recipes to Bake the Season Bright
Get festive with timeless classics and new favorites, from sugar cookies and mandelbrot to tortellini dolci and marranitos.
Preheat your ovens and roll out the parchment paper: It’s cookie-baking season. We are rich in cookie recipes from top pastry chefs, from around the world, and from our own families. Whether you’re looking for holiday cookie decorating tips for sugar cookies you’re making to give away or inspiration for a new recipe to serve at your annual holiday party or cookie swap, we have beloved stalwarts alongside creative new takes. They’re all worth your time, so let’s get baking.

Wedding Plus-One Etiquette: 9 Rules to Help You Write Your Guest List
Wedding planning—and the important task of putting your guest list together—can raise a slew of conundrums.
Your best friend from college, who is a bit of a serial monogamist, has a new girlfriend. Do you invite her? You want to invite your cousins (and their spouses) to your wedding, but your fiancé wants to keep it small. You just made a new friend at work who you’d like to add to the list. Who gets the invite? For many couples, assembling their wedding guest list can be a daunting challenge.

The Waiting Game
Olivia has been with her boyfriend for eight years. They’ve lived together for the last six, share a dog, and even have the same health insurance plan. But no ring. No spontaneous trips to romantic destinations where she could secretly get a light pink manicure. No suspiciously shaped bulge in his pants on an otherwise normal date night.
At dinner recently, I asked her, impulsively and nosily: “Do you think he’s going to propose soon?” I didn’t mean to corner her; I just care. And also I am a menace. […]
Although rare and not something I’ve seen within my own circle, I have come across a few examples online of women proposing to men. Recently, I saw a TikTok of a woman who had been with her boyfriend for 14 years and finally decided to propose to him herself.
People in the comments were genuinely distressed. “You could not waterboard me into proposing to a man,” one person wrote. Another said, “He hasn’t proposed because HE DOESN’T WANT TO.” Strangers demanded to know where her friends and family were, anyone who might stage an intervention.

Kate Middleton’s Turning Point: How She Reclaimed Her Confidence After ‘Staring Down the Abyss’
The Princess of Wales is at a defining moment—shaping her and Prince William’s life as they settle into a new home and a more prominent royal role
At one end of the majestic St. George’s Hall in Windsor Castle stood a 20-ft. Christmas tree glittering with thousands of lights — but it was Kate Middleton who shone the brightest as she swept into the Dec. 3 state banquet on the arm of Prince William.
Delivering a festive flourish, Kate wore Queen Victoria’s 172-year-old Oriental Circlet tiara—the largest and grandest she has ever debuted. Once worn by Victoria herself and later by Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother, the circlet has long been believed to be
reserved for Queens and future Queens under the terms of Victoria’s will. “It’s magnificent, historic and significant,” says Sally Bedell Smith, the royal biographer behind the Royals Extra Substack.
As Princess Kate reaches the end of the year marked by recovery and a gradual reclaiming of her role and confidence, the symbolism was unmistakable. “She looks like our idea of a future Queen,” royal biographer Catherine Mayer says in this week’s issue of PEOPLE.

“We’re Gonna Get Into Some Shit”: Regina Hall, by Queen Latifah
When Queen Latifah talks about Regina Hall, it’s with the certitude of someone who’s observed her magic firsthand. “I just loved working with you on Girls Trip because I got to actually witness your greatness,” Latifah said when the pair reunited over Zoom earlier this month. “It ain’t no telling what’s going to come out of your mouth.” Unpredictability is Hall’s… hallmark, whether she’s anchoring a raucous comedy or quietly steering a scene back to its emotional core. That same precision drives the 55-year-old actor’s performance in Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, where she plays Deandra, a revolutionary leader whose authority is shaped less by brute force than quiet conviction. Tasked with protecting Willa, played by newcomer Chase Infiniti, Deandra embodies the film’s deeper preoccupations with loyalty, resilience, and revolutionary duty. In a wide-ranging conversation that doubled as a reunion, Latifah and Hall reflected on craft, trust, grief, and the possibility of Girls Trip, the sequel. “We’ll take it from here,” Hall quipped.

4 Holiday Foods That Are Toxic for Pets, According to a Veterinarian
Sharing is not caring when it comes to these holiday foods.
Feeding your pets human food is never a good idea—especially during the holiday season. Popular holiday dishes often include chocolate and large amounts of sugar, along with rich meats like pork and beef that have been heavily seasoned and prepared to appease human taste buds. While many owners or guests may think a bite or two of their favorite holiday dishes is safe for pets, it’s not.
To keep your pets safe this holiday season, we spoke with a veterinarian about which holiday foods are toxic for pets. Some are common ingredients found in decadent cakes and baked goods, while others are the centerpiece of the feast. Here, we share which holiday foods are toxic for pets and what to do if your furry family member accidentally ingests one.

How to Cat-Proof Your Christmas Tree, According to Experts
Here’s how to keep your pet and décor safe.
During the holiday season, the Christmas tree is the heart of the home for many households. But for cats, that same tree becomes a playground filled with branches to climb, dangling toys, and new scents to explore. While their curiosity is innocent, it can lead to a real safety hazard, from toppled trees and toxic needles to broken decorations.
Luckily, we spoke to experts to learn how to keep your Christmas tree and your cat safe. Here, we share their insights on the best ways to cat-proof your tree while also enjoying the magic of holiday décor all season long.

5 Things You Should Never Say to a Host During the Holidays
Avoid the comments that turn festive into frosty.
Many of us have learned the hard way what it feels like to deal with difficult or unintentionally rude guests. Or we’ve kicked ourselves after a conversation and wished we had said something differently. So, how do we enter someone’s home with grace, politeness, and ease?
According to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, it’s as much about how you speak as what you say. “Watch the way you say certain things,” she advises. That means giving your host lots of positive feedback and avoiding an abrupt tone that could read as criticism.
Showing your gratitude is also key: “Be appreciative, and always say ‘thank you,'” says etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore. That also applies to always bringing a gift for the host, and offering to help when needed—but not hovering!)

This Luxury 7-day Train Journey Travels Through Italy’s Wine Country—With Private Winery Visits and Vineyard Lunches
Calling all lovers of Italian wine.
If you need yet another reason to visit Italy, boutique travel company SmoothRed just unveiled an enticing new train experience. This seven-day journey connects two of the country’s most celebrated wine regions by train and offers the chance to sample more than 20 of the country’s best wines.
The trip begins with three nights in Turin in Italy’s northern Piedmont region, an area known for its white truffles, coffee culture, and its connection to the Slow Food Movement. Travelers tour the renowned Barolo wine region, visiting boutique family estates to sample recent Barolo vintages and enjoy a traditional lunch at a local restaurant. Travelers also have ample opportunities to discover the area at their leisure, whether it be a vineyard picnic or day trips to Alba, Asti, or Barbaresco.

[Photo Credit: gloria-osteria.com]

• T LOunge

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