Reading

Entry tags:

reading,
viewing

wednesday reads and things

What I've recently finished reading:

Emily Wilde's Compendium of Lost Tales by Heather Fawcett, which, it's the third book in the series, so if you like this series you will probably like this book. I particularly enjoyed the trope (which is not uncommon - it's also an element of the Invisible Library series, for example) that the Fae are governed by tales and stories, so the things that happen in their kingdoms generally follow the well-known structures of fairy tales. I also appreciated that the story wrapped around to include elements of the first book.

What I'm reading now:

My hold on Empire of Silence by Christopher Ruocchio came in, and - I can't remember why I put a hold on this book? Did one of you recommend it? I've started it but I am not finding the style particularly engaging. I'll stick with it for a while, though.

What I've recently finished watching:

Untamed, about which I must agree with

treewishes's assessment: "Excellent scenery and interesting characters, the plot, um." The drone shots of Yosemite are spectacular! The action taking place in meadows with cliffs in the background is beautiful! The very beginning has some really fingernail-biting rock climbing (both B and I, who used to climb, muttered at the total sketchiness of one of the placements...) and overall the scenery is just gorgeous. The characters and the way they interact, their backstories and their drama and trauma, are definitely interesting. The plot, um. I have a lot of niggling criticisms, like, there is no way an LA cop would be able to easily transfer to a park ranger job! There is no way an experienced law enforcement officer would go confront a dangerous person without backup! I am side-eyeing the idea of a hippie encampment being on park land and not cleared the hell out of there immediately they found it! I can't imagine a park far from major cities being a hub for [spoilers redacted]! But mostly it's just a ridiculously convoluted plot for the sake of ridiculous convolutions.

Apparently there will be a second season, but I have no idea what they are going to keep constant from the first - the people, the setting, ???

What I'm still playing:

I'm still playing Dragon Age: The Veilguard, and it's still entertaining.

140 David Corenswet Clark Kent/Superman Teaser Trailer icons

I am as human as anyone

"It captures the messiness of history."

Posted by Wobbuffet

https://www.metafilter.com/210037/It-captures-the-messiness-of-history

Elaine Szewczyk (8/14/2025), "Why Oral History Matters: PW Talks with Garrett M. Graff": "It brings together about 500 voices spanning scientists, soldiers, ... officials, ... hundreds of voices of the Japanese survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and those who fought on the Japanese side." Excerpts: "On Site at the First Nuclear Explosion"; "How Allied Media Reported on the Atomic Bombs' Devastation." Graff's other oral histories: "COVID-19 Oral Histories in Vermont"; "The True Story of D-Day, as Told by Paratroopers"; "June 6, 1944 as Told by the People Who Were There"; "We're the Only Plane in the Sky" (previously); "We May Have to Shoot Down This Aircraft." Graff on Bluesky. His favorite WWII books. Graff previously re: UFO and also Watergate. See also Japan at War (archive) and next year's Sacred War by Haruko Taya Cook and Theodore F. Cook.

https://www.metafilter.com/210037/It-captures-the-messiness-of-history

spinning on a spinning wheel

Watch on YouTube

Spinning at a spinning wheel - not a tutorial or demonstration of good spinning, and most of the wheel is out of frame so you can see the main ~action. I am still a beginner, and I think I foxed up some of the terminology. But my advisor was curious so I recorded this.

Current Mood: okay

thankfulthursday

thankfulthursday is a weekly gratitude community. Nothing is too big or too small to share.

· Photos are optional but encouraged.
· Check-ins remain open until the following week's post is shared.
· Do feel free to comment on others' check-ins but don't harsh anyone else's squee.

This week's check-in is open.

Finding joy in aging twice

Posted by fruitslinger

https://www.metafilter.com/210036/Finding-joy-in-aging-twice

Washington Post gift link. Elizabeth Jameson writes movingly about aging twice -- first when multiple sclerosis began to reshape her life as a young woman, now again as she is in her 70s and her peers have "caught up" with the mobility challenges and indignities that come with typical aging.

"The progression of my illness meant that people started treating me like I was old before I had even hit midlife. Children whispered to their mothers. Strangers offered me senior discounts. But I didn't feel old. ... Still, it seemed no one outside my family and closest confidants could relate to what I was going through. Back then, no one around me was going through anything similar... Now, though? Now things are different. Aging has caught up with all of us"

https://www.metafilter.com/210036/Finding-joy-in-aging-twice

Entry tags:

Original: Poetry: Here We Be

Title: Here We Be
Fandom: Original
Challenge: Twinkle

Author's note: When I was in high school, my choir sang a piece called "Stars," by Lloyd Pfautsch. The lyrics come from Baruch 3:34: The stars shine in their watches and rejoice. When he calleth them, they say Here we be! Here we be! Here we be!. The phrasing bounces back and forth among the vocal sections like twinkling stars. (I managed to find a recording of a different choir doing this song; it starts about 3:35 here at Youtube.)

( Read more... )

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What I'm Doing Wednesday: birthday edition

birthday
Sunday was my birthday & I had a nice time visiting the family.

( books: Abulafia, Tierney, Painter x 3, Abulafia )

media
sloooowly, I'm catching up on Murderbot. I know, it's been weeks, and yet the reading kick is (still) defeating my viewing obligations. Also on the watch list: the new season of Strange New Worlds, all of Lower Decks S5, um. Something else I've forgotten. But the Tumblr set shots of S3 Interview with the Vampire/The Vampire Lestat are feeding my soul. <333

dirt
for my birthday, I got a Buddha's head planter, which I intend to put spider plants in to give him green and white spiky hair. Very fun!

#resist
Monday, 9/01: Workers over Billionaires (#5051)
In Texas, there are lots of local protests, esp in Austin, re the gerrymandering thing. Freaking GOP. :(

I hope all of y'all are doing well! <333

Entry tags:

Dear RarePear Author

I use the same name everywhere so I am

beatrice_otter on AO3. Treats are awesome.

I would rather get a story you were happy with than "well, she said she liked x, so I guess I have to do x even though I don't like x and/or am not inspired that way." This letter is long with lots of suggestions and preferences if you find it helpful, but feel free to ignore it if it is not helpful. I'm fairly easy to please; I've been doing ficathons for over a decade and am usually very happy with my gifts.

The most important thing for me in a fic is that the characters are well-written and recognizably themselves. Even when I don't like a character, I don't go in for character-bashing. If nothing else, if the rest of this letter is too much or my kinks don't fit yours, just concentrate on writing a story with everyone in character and good spelling and grammar and I will almost certainly love what you come up with.

I have an embarrassment squick, which makes humor kind of hit-or-miss sometimes. The kind of humor where someone does something embarrassing and the audience is laughing at them makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, the kind of humor where the audience is laughing with the characters I really enjoy.

General Likes and Dislikes

other things to keeep in mind:

I like stuff that takes side characters and puts them center-stage, especially when the characters and/or actors are marginalized. I enjoy seeing them come to life.
I don't like it when marginalized characters get relegated to the sidekick/supporting/helper role so that it can be All About The White Dude.
I like it when female characters are more than just the Strong Female Character(tm) or The Nurturer.
I like fluff
I like angst with a happy ending
I like stories that make me think about things in a new way.
I like to know that culture matters to people, and to see how different cultures interact and where the clashes are.
I like unreliable narrators.
I like acknowledgment that different people can have different points of view without either of them being wrong.
I like stories that engage with problematic aspects of the source, and which deal with privilege in one way or another instead of sweeping it under the rug.
Worldbuilding is my jam, I am pretty much always up for explorations of why the world is the way it is. I love hearing about the economics, the politics, the religion, the clothing, the history, the folklore, all of that kind of stuff. And I want to know why it matters--how is all this cultural background stuff affecting the characters, the plot, everything. You don't have to do deep worldbuilding, but I'll enjoy it if you do.
I don't like it when plots hinge on characters being selectively stupid, or selectively unable to communicate. Like, if they are stupid or a himbo or whatever in general, or have problems communicating in general, that's fine! Or if they canonically have a blind spot in that area, again, it's fine. But if it's just "the only way I can think of for this plot to work is if the character spontaneously and temporarily loses half their intelligence and competence," then I'm going to spend the rest of the fic wondering why the character didn't just ____?
I like AUs, but not complete setting AUs (i.e. no highschool or college or coffee shop AUs, and especially not mundane AUs--nothing where you keep characters but drop most of the worldbuilding). I like fork-in-the-road type AUs, where one thing is different and the changes all result from that one thing, and you explore what might have been if such-and-such happened.
I like the concept of sedoretu marriages.
I like historical AUs, but only when the author actually knows the history period in question and does thoughtful worldbuilding to meld actual culture of the time with the canon.
Crackfic is really hit and miss for me, sometimes I love it and sometimes I can't stand it. Basically, if it's the characters we know and love in a ludicrous situation, that's great. If they're OOC or parodied in order to make something funny ... it's not funny to me.

I like plotty, gen stories, and plotty stories in general. I don't care for explicit sex, particularly when it's just thrown in for teh porn. I'm asexual; a lot of the time I don't even bother to read the sex scenes. Romance is awesome (as long as both are in character and the romantic plot doesn't hinge on one or both of them being an idiot). I love it when friendship is held up as important and not secondary to romantic relationships and blood ties.

Please no incest or darkfic. I define "darkfic" as stuff where there's a lot of suffering and no hope even at the end and all the characters are terrible. Angst with a happy ending is fine, I enjoy it, but there's gotta be a payoff. Even an ambiguous ending is fine! But there has to be some note of grace or redemption or hope somewhere, it can't just be "people are awful and the world sucks, the end." I define incest as siblings and/or parents, cousins don't count.

I love outsider perspectives and academic takes on things. In-universe meta (newspaper articles, academic monographs--especially with the sort of snarky feuding common in actual real-world academia, social media feeds in current day or future worlds) is awesome.

Also, I'm picky about European historical clothing details. You don't have to talk about it at all! In fact, if you don't know much about historical clothing, I would prefer if you didn't mention it at all. My pet peeve is corsets: no, they weren't a restrictive tool of the patriarchy, no, they didn't interfere with most women's daily lives, no, most women weren't wearing them so tight they couldn't breathe.

I like religion but I'm picky about it. Basically, Christianity is deeply weird compared to most other religions, and a lot of people whose only experience with religion is living in a culturally-Christian nation assume that what they know about Christianity is some sort of universal principle of What Religion Is Like, and that's just not the case. For example, in Christianity what you believe is more important than what you do. This is not to say we Christians don't teach and practice Christian ethics or have rituals we are very attached to, but rather that if you don't believe in Jesus Christ, it doesn't matter what rituals you participate in or what ethical things you do, you are not a Christian (although you may be a "cultural Christian"). Every Christian group has at least a minimal core theology that members must affirm, but participation in ritual is far less rigidly a requirement. Most other religions rank what you do (both ethically and ritually) as more important than what you believe, and it is often quite possible to be a member in good standing if you participate in the practices and rituals even if you believe none of the teachings. Anyway, point is, if you are doing worldbuilding for a fantasy or SF or otherwise non-Christian religion ... unless it is explicitly a Christian-analogue, it should be different from Christianity. Question your assumptions and see where that leads you, and I will be fascinated and thrilled.

The Goblin Emperor Series - Katherine Addison

Arbelan Drazharan/Maru Sevraseched
I can see them having so much fun together when he visits. They're both old enough to know what they want and how to get it discreetly, they're both outside the normal court bullshit, and Arbelan's gone through enough trouble. Let her have some fun.

Chenelo Drazharan/Marquess Lanthevel (TGE)
I have no idea how this might come about, but the premise intrigues me. Did Chenelo survive relegation, and come back to court with Maia after Varenechibel's death, and go looking for allies to help her son's reign be stable? Is V'bel just 2% less a jerk and doesn't relegate her and Maia, but they're still persona non grata at court, and she and Lanthevel come to be friends and then have to dance around the edges of what they can safely do (because V'bel is looking for an excuse to divorce her)?

Chenelo Drazharan/Nemolis Drazhar (TGE)
V'bel already had several grown sons by the time the marriage with Chenelo was arranged; surely Maru would have wanted his grandson to be an emperor, instead of merely another younger son? The political maneuverings around this must have been really interesting, but also, the few glimpses we get of Nemolis is of a kind, thoughtful man who is a good husband and father. I don't care whether they fall in love or not, but I'd love to see the two of them working together and being partners in a difficult situation. Either when they're first married or later.

Eiru Berenar/Arbelan Drazharan (TGE)
Does Arbelan marry him instead of V'bel (and thus have a much nicer life)? Do they start up something when she comes back to court? Please no cheating—maybe his wife is marnis and they have an Understanding. I just want Arbelan to have good things.

Nemriän Drazhin/Maru Sevraseched (TGE)
So what are the POLITICS of this? Did the marriage with Chenelo not happen? Did it go better? Is Maru using this marriage to pressure V'bel into treating Chenelo and Maia better ("If you don't take better care of my daughter and grandson, I'll do the same or worse to Nemriän)? What were the pressures that were making it advantageous for the Ethuveraz and Barizhan to have closer ties? (Notably, Barizhan has a coast and the Ethuveraz doesn't, and their major river goes right through Barizhan to the sea. If Barizhan wants to cut off the Ethuveraz's trade, they have every capability of doing so.) Does Maru get a legitimate son and heir out of the marriage, or another daughter, and what happens then?

Shaleän Sevraseched/Shaleän Sevraseched's Wife (TGE)
Pirates! Have fun!

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Lord Peter Wimsey - Dorothy L. Sayers

I would love a casefic, but also, all of these are such interesting characters, I'd love to go deeper into their dynamics.

Charles Parker/Mary Wimsey (Peter Wimsey)
Everybody treats Mary like she's a child who doesn't know her own mind, but she is only five years younger than Peter. In Clouds of Witness, she is 28 years old. I deeply dislike Sayers' trope of women who take up the interests of the men they fall in love with; I want her to be a leftie out of her own conviction. (Is that the reason it takes her and Charles so long to get together? He's so staid and conservative; maybe it took a while to negotiate what their relationship was going to be like.) I want her to get the respect she is denied by the narrative, and I want Charles to have someone he can have reasoned intellectual disagreements with. (I love that he reads theology for fun.)

Charles Parker/Peter Wimsey (Peter Wimsey)
Is Charles really okay with Peter leaving him with all the footwork all the time? Is there ever a time when Peter is wrong and Charles is right? Peter went to a boys' school, and situational homosexuality is a thing, besides his general cosmopolitanness; does Charles have more problem with it than Peter does? They are both such deeply principled men, and they have the principles of their class and time; does "living in sin" bother them? The fact that they can't be open and honest about it?

Colonel Marchbanks/Mrs Marchbanks (Peter Wimsey)
The Marchbanks are so stodgy, but also very decent people. I would love to see more of them. Maybe something during the war, where they're both dealing with the fact that this is not like the wars he's served in in the past? Maybe a house party at Duke's Denver goes deeply wrong (in a non-murdery way)?

Freddy Arbuthnot/Rachel Levy (Peter Wimsey)
Freddy's brainpower is only concentrated in his one area, but in that area he's very good, and he seems to be a kind enough man … and one willing to move beyond his prejudices. I'd love their courtship from Rachel's point of view, or maybe something from later on after their marriage. I would be equally thrilled for something that expands these two characters but treads lightly on the antisemitism of the time as I would be for something that dives deep into it. (What do they do before WWII as conditions for Jews are worsening, especially in Europe?)

Mervyn Bunter/Harriet Vane/Peter Wimsey (Peter Wimsey)
I absolutely cannot buy that Peter and Harriet's relationship would go the same way if he was in a pre-existing relationship with Bunter. Bunter is not like his mistresses, which bring mutual pleasure and enjoyment but have little real depth of feeling and are largely separate from his day-to-day life; Peter depends on Bunter for his healing and sanity. There are "jokes" in canon about how Bunter is basically his wife. It is an extremely important relationship to Peter, and I can't see sex making that less important. So he would not immediately propose in a jail cell, because he's basically already married and there would have to be a lot of negotiation before things went forward with Harriet. (When he visits Sylvia and Eiluned is he sounding them out discreetly as to how okay she is with gay men and threesomes?) There are so many points along their courtship and relationship where things would have changed based on that. I'd love to see them explored. Or you could have P/B not be pre-existing, and something about Harriet changes the dynamic enough that they have a belated relationship and end up in a triad where Harriet is the pre-existing partner? Or maybe a true menage a trois?

Mervyn Bunter/Peter Wimsey (Peter Wimsey)
When do they get together? During the war? After it? How does it affect their cases, and their social circle? Who knows about it (Bunter's mother? The Dowager Duchess? Charles Parker?)? How do they navigate the issues of Peter's fluctuating mental health? How does it affect their cases?

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Star Wars Original Trilogy

My favorite parts of Star Wars includes the PT, the OT, the Zahn trilogy (especially Mara Jade) and the X-Wing books, bits and pieces from the TV shows, Rey&Finn&Poe as the only contributions from the ST, and an ending where something new and better results after all the pain and trauma. (Or at least something different.) It's not that everything has to be perfect, but I want there to be at least some growth and change. If you are inspired by other corners of the Star Wars universe, feel free to bring them in, but those are my happy places, and I am perfectly fine with completely ignoring the ST or rewriting it to make it either less stupid or less depressing (or both).

I love Lando, and I think he was absolutely right to put the safety of his entire city and everyone living in it ahead of the well-being of a couple of old friends. He is smart, pragmatic, and responsible in the best possible way. Do Leia and Lando work together on political negotiations/shenanigans while Han plays house-husband and swoops in with the Falcon when they need backup? Do Han and Lando go off and make shady business deals and come home to Leia with intelligence she can use politically? Does Lando start up a new operation--maybe mining, maybe something else--or take over an existing one after the war is over, and become a respectable businessman? I was one of the contributors to the "What if Han became Emperor by accident" thread on tumblr a while back, and my contribution was "ooh, Lando would be his Grand Vizier!" and if you want to go that direction that would also be awesome. (It's not on tumblr any longer, but the podfic and transcript of it are here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18219923) Also, Weird Jedi Shit is always fun.

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic, Kylo Ren

Crossover Fandom

Bertram "Bertie" Wooster (Jeeves and Wooster)/Harriet Vane (Peter Wimsey)
Look, Harriet Vane is far from the worst person he's ever gotten accidentally engaged to, but he still doesn't want to be married. For a fun twist on the usual J&W plot, what if there's some reason that she feels her honor is engaged? Being a sensible woman, I'd think Jeeves' approach this time might be to just … talk with her and explain the whole situation and find a way out of it that satisfies them both. And then shenanigans happen, and they go away with no hard feelings.

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)/Lando Calrissian (Star Wars)
I think Donna would be suspicious of Lando's charm, but also really enjoy him flirting with her, and they'd have a great time together (while the Doctor just wanders around confused in the background). Maybe she saves Cloud City through the power of temping and bureaucracy, maybe she helps him conning some people who really deserve it pre-Cloud City, maybe she helps him on a rebellion mission, maybe they meet on vacation.

Elinor Dashwood (Sense and Sensibility)/William Laurence (Temeraire)
Two people of deep reserve, intelligence, and honor—there are so many ways they could have an interesting relationship, and so many ways their respective book plots would complicate that. I'd love to see it.

Martha Jones (Doctor Who)/Peter Grant (Rivers of London)
Peter would love to meet an actual alien, and I think a case where he has to do with weirdness that's not magic related would be good for him. I think there would be a lot of mutual wariness and misunderstandings, because she's going to assume aliens and he's going to assume magic, and she would probably assume that his powers are, like psychic stuff or whatever.

Martha Jones (Doctor Who)/Stephen Franklin (B5)
Two doctors with both compassion and determination, willing to go to the limit to do the right thing and save people (and sometimes the world). You could do so many interesting things with that—fit Martha and the Doctor into a B5 typical plot, or maybe Martha gets stranded and starts working at the clinic in Downbelow to make ends meet while she waits for the Doctor to come pick her up.

Natasha Romanov (MCU)/Bruce Wayne (DCU)
Do they meet on a mission? Are they targeting the same person? Is Natasha sent in to find out who the Batman is? Does Bruce go looking for "what is SHIELD and what are they doing at that base in Gotham?" Does she moonlight as an actual supermodel for a while to build up one of her covers, and get invited to a party at Wayne Manor? Any incarnation of Bruce Wayne is fine with me.

Peggy Carter (Agent Carter)/Diana (Wonder Woman)
I am fine with any version of Diana. I would LOVE to see them on a case during/after WWII, or working together during Peggy Carter's days as director of SHIELD. I think they could bond over lost loves (and over a shared love of hitting bad people very hard). Secret identity shenanigans would also be interesting.

Peggy Carter (Agent Carter)/Henry "Indiana" Jones (Indiana Jones)
I don't like Temple of Doom, but Crystal Skull is ok. Given that HYDRA was going after mystical artifacts, you know they had to have crossed Indy, or maybe the SSR/SHIELD needed his expertise. Also, he canonically has a thing for competent brunettes, so.

Phryne Fisher (Miss Fisher)/Peggy Carter (Agent Carter)
Adventures! Is the Honorable Phryne Fisher also an agent of the SSR? Does one of Peggy's cases post-war take her to Australia?

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Babylon 5 (TV 1993)

Ah, the fandom of my youth! This was my first fandom that was mine, and not just something the family watched together. I love the layering of the themes, and how you can watch it on multiple levels (action/adventure, character arcs, political allegory, deeper themes about truth and freedom and who are you and what do you want and why are you here). The characters and their story arcs were all so compelling. One of the things I love about Babylon 5 is that there were so many characters where the fact that they were antagonists didn't mean they were stupid or bad people, just people with a different perspective honestly trying to do what is right.

Is there a problem on Babylon 5 that needs to get solved? Is there some Minbari cultural rite or Earthforce political intrigue? Is the PsiCorps making trouble? I'd also love something post-series about peace-building.

I especially love Minbari culture. If you do worldbuilding for Minbari culture, past, present, or future, I will love you forever. I consider "To Dream in the City of Sorrows" canon and firmly believe that when Sinclair went into the past and became Valen, he found Catherine again after she was lost in time.

Catherine Sakai/Jeffrey Sinclair (Babylon 5)
I love stories where Jeffrey/Valen meet up with her again in the past. But I would also be interested in stories about the two of them juggling their relationship and their respective careers, or the changes once he's assigned as ambassador to Minbar.

Delenn/John Sheridan/? (Babylon 5)
I love John and Delenn together, but she is way too smart for him and I like it best when he knows he's a bit out of his league and a bit uncomfortable at all the alien stuff (and yet maybe a bit excited by it under the surface). The political implications of their relationship, on both Earth and Minbar, fascinate me. Then you add in either Neroon or Lennier, and what happens? I don't think John would be terribly comfortable with it; three may be holy on Minbar, but John sure didn't like Lennier's love for Delenn. What if Neroon survived somehow and had to learn to be religious caste? How would Neroon and John get along as part of a marriage? What about John and Lennier?

Delenn/Neroon, Lennier/Neroon (Babylon 5)
Neroon survives AU! Or maybe something exploring his earlier career, or his relationship with Branmer, or the complexities and frustrations of his encounters with Delenn, or his time on the Gray Council. Delenn has dealings with Neroon, and Lennier is her go-between, and then Neroon has Opinions about Lennier's attempts at trying to subsume his romantic feelings into service and pretend he's just fine with John Sheridan, and things snowball from there.

Marcus Cole/Neroon (Babylon 5)
They only really interact in that one episode, but it is FASCINATING. Marcus changes Neroon's whole perspective; I don't think he could have done what he did, later, without it. Either something where Neroon survives or something where he doesn't could be interesting. Or maybe Neroon figures out how to save Marcus. This could be tragic or happy ending or something set earlier before either of them dies.

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Sense8 (TV)

Hernando Fuentes/Lito Rodriguez/Daniela Velasquez (Sense8)
I love the worldbuilding and the characters, and what I most want is what happens NEXT. And I'm curious for both the immediate lives of the cluster (I love them all), but also for the larger world of sensate clusters. Do they start building their own culture, now that it's safer? What scars have been left by the corporate exploitation and murder? What continuing steps are needed to get rid of the lingering influence of BPO? Does the larger world ever learn about sensates, and what happens to the cluster then?

I love Sun's contradictions and complexity, I love Capheus's heart and courage, I love Lito's drama and sweetness, I love Nita and Nomi's trust and mutual devotion (and Amanita's quick thinking), I love the way Lito and Hernando's relationship grew and the way Daniela became a true partner for them and they have a relationship with her that's as important as a marriage but not romantic/sexual in the traditional sense. I love the way all of the cluster interacts and how together they are so much more than the sum of their parts, and I love watching all of them grow and become more truly themselves as they become entiwned in one another. (And I wonder what it would be like for clusters that weren't so well-suited, if that might be part of where Whispers came from.)

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Star Trek: TNG

I love alien culture worldbuilding, boldly going, exploring, wacky science hijinks, time travel, AU shenanigans. I love the hopeful attitude that we can become better than we are. I love cross-cultural romance (especially when it deals realistically with having to figure out what compromises each is going to make on what they expect out of a relationship--love is not all you need, you also need a lot of hard work and communication).

As for plot ... it's Star Trek. If you want to play it serious, go for it. If you want to lean into wacky tropes, that's great too. As long as everyone is in character, feel free to go as cracktastic as you want with the time travel and travel to alternate universes and weird missions.

Guinan/Jean-Luc Picard (TNG)
Guinan is awesome, but please tone down the Magical Negro stereotype--she's not just The Wise Magic Advisor. She's got her own prejudices and traumas. I would love anything that dove into her past or her culture. Picard and Guinan have INCREDIBLE chemistry. Watch Time's Arrow and see the way he LOOKS AT HER. Something with time travel and meeting in the wrong order a la Time's Arrow would be interesting, but so would them hanging out together and being friends. Or an adventure from before they were together on Enterprise. I don't like most of the Picard TV show, but I do appreciate Picard and Guinan's stuff.

Jean-Luc Picard/Kamala (TNG)
Picard/Kamala, the "empathic metamorph" who imprinted on Picard but then went on to her arranged marriage anyway? On the one hand, you have the appeal of the whole soulmate trope, and on the other you have the ickyness of how that works for an empathic metamorph, but on the other hand, he was the one she chose, and then you've got the political aspects. Even once she's free do either of them want a long-term relationship, despite the fact that they are perfectly matched?

I see it as unrequited, unless dude Kamala married died in an accident and she left the planet. Even then, I don't know that she would have sought him out. I like that her choice was just that--her choice. And in a shitty situation, she chose to bond with the person whose desires made her into someone she wanted to be. I wonder what she did after? Obviously, duty and ethics are very important to her. But what does that mean, in the long run, given her situation? Does she use her position to advocate for change, or just endure until her husband died and then leave after he dies (she's a lot younger than he is)? OTOH, what happens if something happened and the Enterprise had to go back to the planet she married into?

Jean-Luc Picard/Ro Laren (TNG)
I love the friendship and mentorship they have despite (or maybe because of) their differences, and the mutual trust they built. I'd be interested in an episode-type story set before she defected to the Maquis, or an AU where she didn't for some reason, or something after the Dominion War when she's no longer a terrorist. Or a role-reversal AU where Bajor is the perfect paradise world that's the founder of the Federation and provides most of the people for Starfleet, and Earth is the one conquered by the Cardassians. I absolutely LOVE Ro Laren, she's such a contrast to the rest of them.

K'Ehleyr/Worf (TNG)
I love Klingons, PARTICULARLY when they're written with depth. The warrior ethos shapes their entire culture, but it's not the only thing about them. Worf/K'Ehleyr: K'Ehleyr rejects much of what Worf is desperately trying to cling to. And Worf's view of Klingons is very one-dimensional, almost an outsider's view, because of his upbringing. If she had lived and they'd had to actually work things out, that would have been fascinating. Not to mention very different views on how to raise Alexander.

William Riker/Deanna Troi/Worf (TNG)
Deanna Troi/Worf (TNG)
This is three different cultures, and 'human' is the place in the middle that they all understand, but I'd be interested in something that explored the 'alien' cultures and didn't assume 'human' as normal. Klingon gender roles are that the women are loud and violent and the men read love poetry. Deanna's more the poetry type than the loud and violent type, and I'm not sure how much of a soft side Worf has. So neither of them quite 'fit' Klingon gender/sexual norms. Feel free to bring in the perspective Martok and the others had on mental illness when they were trapped in that Dominion prison camp, that mental illness is an enemy to fight and it takes a lot of strength to fight an enemy in your own head. From that perspective, Deanna is a weapons trainer for the mind.

Deanna/Will, there's history, not all of it good, and a reason they haven't been together for a long time. With Worf and either of them, there's not that baggage.

William Riker/Ro Laren
Riker/Ro: the episode where they have amnesia is amazing, I love stories that deal with what happened afterwards. Before that, they have such great conflict, because Riker is trying to manage Ro and not connecting with her, and Ro has Problems With Authority (unless she independently has come to respect the individual, as with Picard). Then they have amnesia and sleep together! And then they try to pretend it never happened.

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Star Trek: TOS

I love alien culture worldbuilding. I love boldly going and exploring and wacky science hijinks and time travel and alternate universe shenanigans. I love the hopeful attitude that we can become better than we are. I love cross-cultural romance (especially when it deals realistically with having to figure out what compromises each is going to make on what they expect out of a relationship--love is not all you need, you also need a lot of hard work and communication).

As for plot ... it's Star Trek. If you want to play it serious, go for it. If you want to lean into the wacky tropes Star Trek was known for, that's great too. As long as everyone is in character, feel free to go as cracktastic as you want with the time travel and travel to alternate universes and weird missions.

Montgomery "Scotty" Scott/Nyota Uhura (ST: TOS)
Between the two of them, they really do keep the ship running when the Big Three are off having their adventures. And we see them closer in the movies. I'd love to see how they got there.

Spock/Nyota Uhura (Star Trek: The Original Series)
My headcanon on Vulcans was shaped by 80s Trek novels but I also enjoy trying to fit the Star Trek: Enterprise Vulcans with ... everything else we know about Vulcans. One thing I will point out, though, is that while there are a lot of things about Vulcan culture that seem/are sexist, the most powerful Vulcans we see throughout the series are elderly women. I love Pon Farr, but mostly dealing with the implications of it (both before and after) and not the sex part.

I love Spock/Uhura, they had such great chemistry in TOS (better, actually, than in the AOS). There's such mutual respect and such playfulness, it's wonderful. And please don't disrupt the canon relationships with Kirk—obviously he and Spock are incredibly important to one another, but also, Kirk and Uhura are such besties, too, I love their mutual respect.

T'Pring/Nyota Uhura (ST:TOS)
I have no idea how this would work but I am fascinated by the premise. An AU where T'Pring was the one who went to Starfleet and Spock stayed on Vulcan? Uhura as a teacher of languages at the Vulcan Science Academy while Enterprise is being refitted? Uhura wants a pen pal to practice her Vulcan with and Spock suggests his betrothed? T'Pring and Nyota encounter each other when Nyota is on Vulcan during Star Trek III?

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Star Trek: Voyager

I love alien culture worldbuilding. I love boldly going and exploring and wacky science hijinks and time travel and alternate universe shenanigans. I love the hopeful attitude that we can become better than we are.

I love cross-cultural romance (especially when it deals realistically with having to figure out what compromises each is going to make on what they expect out of a relationship--love is not all you need, you also need a lot of hard work and communication).

My headcanon on Vulcans was shaped by 80s Trek novels but I also enjoy trying to fit the Star Trek: Enterprise Vulcans with ... everything else we know about Vulcans. One thing I will point out, though, is that while there are a lot of things about Vulcan culture that seem/are sexist, the most powerful Vulcans we see throughout the series are elderly women. I love Pon Farr, but mostly dealing with the implications of it (both before and after) and not the sex part.

I think Kate Mulgrew did an excellent job of playing Janeway despite the inconsistent writing she was given, and I love the way Tuvok was definitely a Vulcan but also a very different Vulcan than Spock. And I think their friendship was a foundation for both of them, having someone they'd known and trusted for years while so far from home. She's very casual about touching his hands, and he's fine with it. Whether it's just for Pon Farr or something deeper and longer lasting, I'm here for it.

Prompts: Day in the life stuff about dealing with the challenges of being so far from home and the top-ranking loyal Starfleet officers. Maybe something set early on dealing with Tuvok's suspicion of the Maquis (and their suspicion of him) and Janeway trying to bring the crew together would be interesting. Pre-series stuff about how they came to be close. Post-series stuff--I mean, it's great, they're both glad to be home, but they've changed and the Federation has changed. (Has Tuvok's wife moved on/remarried?) If you wanted to handle Pon Farr and/or them becoming a couple, I would enjoy that too. Or something dealing with the aftermath of the episode Blood Fever, which I would imagine made Pon Farr and/or Vulcans a really public topic of discussion on the ship. (It's not something that could have been easily hushed up!) Another idea: some Vulcan festival is coming up, and the Vulcans are going to have a hard time celebrating it so far from home, so Tuvok and Janeway have to get creative to figure out how to handle it.

T'Pel/Tuvok: I would be happy with ANYTHING, there is NO fic for this pairing. What's their marriage like, with him gone all the time? What was she doing while he was off being a rebellious teenager? What was she doing while he was on Voyager, and what was it like when he came home?

If none of that appeals ... it's Star Trek. If you want to play it serious, go for it. If you want to lean into the wacky tropes Star Trek was known for, that's great too. As long as everyone is in character, feel free to go as cracktastic as you want with the time travel and travel to alternate universes and weird missions.

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

Still Star-Crossed (TV)

Benvolio Montague/Rosaline Capulet
So much potential, cut so tragically short. I would love just about anything that showed What Happened Next, or maybe an AU where things happen differently (take just about any canon event and play it out), or maybe far in the future after they're married and things have settled down. What roles do they play, together, in establishing a lasting peace? Do other Shakespeare characters wander through?

Treats welcome
DNW: bashing, incest, explicit sex, rape/noncon, major embarrassment/humiliation, setting change AUs, human/no powers AUs, darkfic

There are two versions of what happened next

Posted by chavenet

https://www.metafilter.com/210035/There-are-two-versions-of-what-happened-next

On May 23, a 28-year-old cryptocurrency trader from Italy ran shoeless and bleeding from Duplessie and Woeltz's eight-bedroom townhouse in Manhattan and begged a New York City traffic cop for help. He said the men had held him for more than two weeks, using torture to try to pry loose passwords to his cryptocurrency accounts. They dangled him from the top of five flights of stairs, threatening to kill him if he didn't cough up a ransom, the man alleged in a criminal complaint. from Tequila, Drugs and Torture: The Spending Binge of Two Crypto Bros That Ended Behind Bars [WSJ; ungated]

https://www.metafilter.com/210035/There-are-two-versions-of-what-happened-next

how can I explain to my boss that my phone usage at work is for my to-do list and health tracking?

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/how-can-i-explain-to-my-boss-that-my-phone-usage-at-work-is-for-my-to-do-list-and-health-tracking.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32584

A reader writes:

I am a clerk at a law firm. There is a customer service aspect to my job, but it’s potential clients calling our main line, or greeting clients for meetings. Nobody would be walking up to my desk unless they were staff or attorneys (no members of the public).

The other day, I got caught using my phone at my desk. This is something I have been talked to about before, and so have other staff.

My boss sent me an email saying that, again, I am not to use my phone at my desk unless it’s for IT verification purposes — which are quick. If I need to be on/check my phone for some emergency, I am to let her know. I responded to her email, saying I understood.

And I do. I might not agree with the policy or like it, but I will comply. I am, as far as I am aware, a good employee who gets requests and projects done in a timely fashion and is friendly and helpful. My phone usage is the only behavioral issue — i.e., not related to work mistakes — I’ve gotten talked to about in the year and a half I’ve been here.

I have a work focus set up so that it blocks most apps from my screen, silences most notifications, etc. And after I left work that day, I moved my messages app from its usual docked spot so I wouldn’t be tempted to check messages throughout the day (because docked apps show up no matter the focus).

I’m not denying phone usage, and I’m not saying I don’t occasionally text throughout the day. When my boss caught me, I was asking my mom if she had an update on a hospitalized friend.

But I do use my phone as a to-do list and I set reminders for things like when to set up for a specific meeting that day or when I need to do daily checks of kitchens. I also use it to track health aspects, like my water intake or food I’ve eaten (for figuring out possible food sensitivities). I can use my watch or desktop apps for some of this, but not all of it (like the food tracking is in a specific app, and I also don’t want my personal stuff on work devices).

I am also not comfortable telling my boss if I have an “emergency,” because I’m worried she’d veto the reason or think it’s not good enough or something like that.

But I do use my phone for reasons that are not texting or scrolling on social media, and I am wondering if I should have explained that. Or should I let this go and just input stuff in on my lunch break or after work?

Well, first, this sounds very micromanagery. If you get all your work done and do it well and don’t seem distracted, and there’s no issue of clients or others thinking they’re not getting your full attention, occasional texting shouldn’t be a big deal.

But apparently this is a thing in your office’s culture, and so you’ve got to work within that reality. If they don’t want you doing personal texting during the day, that’s their prerogative — and since this isn’t the first time they’ve warned you and others about it, it’s something you need to take seriously, regardless of whether or not they should enforce it so strictly.

But you’re absolutely right that personal phones get used in all kinds of other ways that don’t make sense to object to. So one option is to go back to your boss and say, “I want you to know that I’m taking the ban on using phones at our desk seriously, and I’ve silenced my notifications and taken other measures to ensure I’m not violating that. However, I use my phone as a to-do list and for reminders about meetings and to do my daily checks of the kitchens. I also use it to track some medical things, which I don’t want to have on work devices. Is there any flexibility for me to continue to use my phone that way, with the understanding that it would be confined specifically to those things and not used for anything like texting?”

It’s possible she’ll say no, either because she’s a micromanager who doesn’t trust the adults working for her to do their jobs well without excessive restrictions or because she knows it won’t fly in the culture more broadly (like if she doesn’t want to deal with questions from her own boss about why you’re using your phone at your desk). And if it’s no, then it’s no; in that case, yes, you’ll need to just do that stuff on a break or after work. But it’s reasonable to ask if you frame it that way.

The post how can I explain to my boss that my phone usage at work is for my to-do list and health tracking? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/how-can-i-explain-to-my-boss-that-my-phone-usage-at-work-is-for-my-to-do-list-and-health-tracking.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32584

Yo, Guid Tae See Ye!

Posted by Brandon Blatcher

https://www.metafilter.com/210034/Yo-Guid-Tae-See-Ye

Recently, black people in the USA found out (or were reminded) that Black Scottish people exist. It's been an enlightening experience, mostly via TikTok, as Americans ask questions, so many questions, seriously there are lots of questions and comments!

It's all been a good time!

https://www.metafilter.com/210034/Yo-Guid-Tae-See-Ye

Workplace moments we can now remember and laugh at

Posted by brainwane

https://www.metafilter.com/210033/Workplace-moments-we-can-now-remember-and-laugh-at

Alison Green's Ask A Manager has, for a few years, held "Mortification Week" (previously): "our annual celebration of hilarious ways that we and other humans have mortified ourselves at work." As Green said when soliciting stories of clumsiness, embarrassment, etc., "Mortification makes us human and is often hilarious, and it's in this spirit that we celebrate..." And last week she published seven collections of stories, some repeats and some new this year.

"GOALS!" I still have the flow chart. So suddenly seven scientific professionals found themselves sitting around a Minecraft campfire talking about FDA guidelines and funding streams. left a message for a client, forgot to hang up, and proceeded to sing the Oompa-Loompa song from Willy Wonka for a good five minutes For the longest time, I thought "riddance" was derived from "ride" and would cheerfully say "good riddance" when wishing people a safe and pleasant ride home. I do remember INSISTING that the first thing needed for communication was "more than one person." a paper bag, which someone had kindly pinned to the bulletin board in the break room with a note that said, "Is this your underwear?" Check the "mortification" tag for more stories, and some requests for Green's advice.

https://www.metafilter.com/210033/Workplace-moments-we-can-now-remember-and-laugh-at

Entry tags:

!challenge week

Wednesday, August 20 - Challenge Week 5, Day 3

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my colleague’s auto-reply says she might never answer your email

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/my-colleagues-auto-reply-says-she-might-never-answer-your-email-2.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=31953

A reader writes:

Two months ago, a colleague introduced me to a colleague at a similar organization to mine. We were trying to figure out if there was merit in working together on a project or not, combining our skills. After my first email, I received an auto-response saying that they might not respond because of the large volume of email they receive and because they are very busy. There was no indication of this auto-response being temporary (no “this week is our annual gala, hence my replies will be slower than normal”) and no other person suggested to approach instead (no “if you are looking for advice on X, please contact Bernice instead”).

I found it strange and was wondering if this is acceptable or not. They did get back to me right away, and we are collaborating now. But that first response left me wondering if I could count on their input on the project bid, given that they had signaled they were so busy (busy enough for the auto-response).

They are of a similar level as I am, and not the author of a best-selling book who might be expecting hundreds of fan mails. To me it came across as not being able to manage the communications that come with the job. We are all busy in our field, so why make yourself the exception? I would not like my employees to use such a generic “I am busy” auto-reply, but am I being too judgmental?

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

The post my colleague’s auto-reply says she might never answer your email appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/my-colleagues-auto-reply-says-she-might-never-answer-your-email-2.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=31953

Entry tags:

Twinkle: Hyouka (Kotenbu): Fanfic: stars align

Fandom: Hyouka (Kotenbu)
Rating: G
Length: 100 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: I always wondered why (Ibara) Mayaka couldn’t just publish manga in the Kotenbu anthology.
Summary: In which Oreki narrowly misses Chitanda’s curiosity.

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

You Gotta Eat, by Margaret Eby

You Gotta Eat: Real-Life Strategies for Feeding Yourself When Cooking Feels Impossible, by Margaret Eby:

A gentle and funny book about how to feed yourself when that seems impossible.

This book offers three things: permission, inspiration, and recipes, in about those proportions if this were a list of ingredients. The chapters are arranged in increasing order of effort, from, basically, eating straight out of the fridge, right up to chopping stuff up and turning on the oven.

Each chapter starts with a theme and a bunch of ideas about how to turn things like eggs, greens, beans, noodles, dumplings, and canned foods into a meal, then finishes with one or two basic "do exactly this" recipes. The permission is throughout. Yes, it's okay to eat popcorn for dinner. Yes, a dip is a meal. Yes, you can just eat cheese with your hands. I gotta say, though, there is A LOT of cheese and dairy in this book. And, it's true, if I could eat dairy, a lot of my eating problems would be solved, but alas.

Still, I love the energy of the book and how funny and relentlessly kind Eby is. From the introduction:

When food felt like a chore, I kept reminding myself: the best food is the food that you'll eat. This is the mantra of this book. Michael Pollan famously had three rules for eating: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." That's nice for him! Here, we're gonna stop with the first one. And we're going to make it easy.

And there are a lot of easy ideas in here! Frittatas! Hummus! Smoothies! For when you're too tired to even chew!

This is more of a survival guide than a cookbook, though, as some of the cooking advice is a bit on the thin side, and if you're new to cooking, you might not know, for example, that you'll want to undercook pasta if you're putting it into a casserole, something Eby fails to mention. The book is probably best for someone who already knows the basics, but just can't imagine lifting a spoon or picking up a frying pan. Eby has a lot of suggestions for things to cook in the toaster oven and the microwave, and the most involved this book gets is casseroles and stirfrys. There are even two (2) quick desserts.

Recommended! Though if you have dietary restrictions, you'll have to do the extra work yourself to make this book work for you (just like every other day) and large sections of it might not, but I think it's still worth it for the inspiration and the reminder to go easy on yourself. You're doing the best you can.

my boyfriend/manager yells at me when we work together

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/my-boyfriend-manager-yells-at-me-when-we-work-together.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32602

A reader writes:

Am I in the wrong for not wanting to work on projects with my boyfriend/manager at work?

My boyfriend and I both work at the same place. He is the facilities manager and I am the facilities technician.

For the most part we work separately. But from time to time, something comes up where we have to work together, and whenever that happens my stomach starts flip flopping and turning the second I hear that we are going to be working together. I absolutely dread it.

Every time we have worked together in the past, he suddenly changes into almost a different person. He’s mean. He yells at me for everything I do and don’t do.

At first I thought it was me and that I just needed to back off and wait for his direction instead of just jumping in. I thought this because he would yell at me for being in his way and for not knowing how he was trying to do it (but he doesn’t communicate how he wants to do stuff, he just expects me to read his mind and know.) So I tried backing off and waiting for his direction. And doing that results in him yelling at me for standing there doing nothing and not knowing what he wants me to do (for not reading his mind.)

Since neither of those worked, I tried to initiate communication with him before we started and asked him to explain what he wants me to do so I can know going into it and won’t be in his way, slowing him down and am able to contribute what he expects me to. And I’ve told him I don’t want to get yelled at. Well, that doesn’t work either. He gets mad at me for asking questions and tells me I need to follow his directions and shut my mouth. But he doesn’t give me direction, yells at me when I try and get some direction, and yells at me if I try and wing it without asking for direction.

I’m frustrated. I just want to cry. He just informed me that next week we have to work together to replace the siding on one of the cabins on our site. My stomach is doing flip flops and I am stressing out. He saw in my face that I don’t want to work with him and told me that I’m going to have to figure it out.

But I’ve tried to figure it out! Nobody wants to be treated like shit by the person they are working with and if the person you are working with doesn’t communicate with you other than to yell at you, it’s very difficult to work efficiently with them.

I tried to explain that I can’t work with him if he’s going to yell at me the whole time, and he told me that I need to just shut my mouth and follow directions. I feel like he is being super disrespectful and I don’t understand why he acts like this when we work together. It literally doesn’t matter if I do exactly what he tells me to do (if he tells me what to do) or not, because either way he is going to yell at me and tell me how stupid I am. I’ve never been treated like this before by anyone I’ve worked with ever.

I feel like I’ve done and tried everything I can think of to make it work and not get yelled at, and I’m starting to think that maybe the problem isn’t just me. Maybe it’s him. Maybe he is actually being the one that is making it impossible for us to work together? But maybe I’m wrong? Maybe it is me? I don’t know? Am I wrong for not wanting to work with him? Am I wrong for starting to think that maybe he is the issue that we are having? What should I do?

It is not you.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that it’s not you because even if you were the most frustrating person in the world, it would never be okay for a colleague to yell at you and tell you to “just shut up,” and it’s even less okay for an intimate partner to do. That fact that he’s doing that — and not just once but repeatedly, even after you’ve asked him to stop — says that it’s him, not you.

For the record: there are all sorts of issues with him managing his girlfriend — that’s not okay in most businesses, because it’s a huge conflict of interest, opens the company to legal liability, and is unfair to you. (I’m not going to go into all the ways this is bad because it’s not the biggest problem here, but here’s more about that.)

But again: it’s never okay to yell at someone in a professional relationship or a personal one. And sure, people have different things they’re willing to tolerate in a personal relationship, but in a work context it’s unacceptable. It is also never okay to tell someone they need to “shut their mouth.” That’s abusive, disrespectful, and frankly horrible.

The fact that it keeps happening after you’ve talked to him about it says he doesn’t care enough to try to find solutions. He’s willing to continue verbally abusing you. At a minimum, you need to get out of this job — not only because the way he’s treating you is unacceptable, but also because he’s messing with your head and making you question whether you are the problem.

Please think about why you’re wondering if you’re the problem — because I suspect it might that you don’t want to look head-on at the reality that he is the problem, because then you’ll need to deal with what that means about your relationship. Or, maybe you’ve been primed to believe you’re the problem by something in your past — maybe things that happened in your family or lessons that you absorbed growing up, something that taught you that you need to accept treatment like this. But you do not, and should not.

Does anything like this happen with him outside of work? Maybe he’s entirely different at home than he is work … but I’m skeptical.

You asked what you should do, and at a minimum you need to get out of this job so he doesn’t have this specific type of power over you. But you should take a look at the relationship itself, too. I’m sorry.

For anyone who needs it, the Domestic Violence Support hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or text START to 88788. Online help is at www.thehotline.org.

The post my boyfriend/manager yells at me when we work together appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/08/my-boyfriend-manager-yells-at-me-when-we-work-together.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=32602

Breakfast Club Reunion

Posted by ichimunki

https://www.metafilter.com/210032/Breakfast-Club-Reunion

For all my Gen X crowd, a 40 year reunion of the Breakfast Club including Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, and Anthony Michael Hall. RIP John Hughes.

https://www.metafilter.com/210032/Breakfast-Club-Reunion

What They Carry, What We Ignore: Stories From My Students

Posted by toastyk

https://www.metafilter.com/210031/What-They-Carry-What-We-Ignore-Stories-From-My-Students

Stories of survival among Oakland teenagers. SL Medium.

For all the weight these students carry, what may seem surprising to most is how much they still hope. Hope is not always loud. Sometimes it's a quiet kind of resistance, the decision to try again in a world that hasn't given you much reason to. These young people, despite everything they have seen and survived, still hold tight to visions of a better life. And not just for themselves. For their families. For their neighbors. For each other.

https://www.metafilter.com/210031/What-They-Carry-What-We-Ignore-Stories-From-My-Students