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Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/dont-bring-problems-without-solutions-coworker-is-upset-that-i-got-the-promotion-he-wanted-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34240

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions

Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems?

I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that they don’t want people to complain to them about minor issues that could be solved with direct communication. However, I feel like if people take this advice literally, they won’t report actual problems.

Recently, my team had an issue where two employees were repeatedly shouting at each other in meetings. In this case, a manager did witness one of the incidents, so it was addressed without a peer needing to escalate. Presumably, if the manager wasn’t around to see it, they would still want to hear about it. It was pretty stressful for the rest of the team and impacted productivity. I don’t know how to make people stop shouting at each other. I don’t even really know why they were shouting at each other because the last thing I wanted to do is become personally involved in the conflict. Am I actually supposed to brainstorm possible solutions to things like this before I can tell my manager? If I can’t think of any, do I just ignore the problem?

Yeah, “don’t bring me problems, only solutions” is a good way for managers to ensure they don’t hear about problems they actually need to know about, or at least not until those problems have festered and grown worse. And in many cases, employees have neither the standing nor the resources to solve the problem at hand; it’s a manager’s job to do that.

It’s true that in some cases it makes sense to ask people to think about how to solve a problem rather than just dumping it on their manager’s lap, and it can be a way to help them develop skills and expertise, but it absolutely doesn’t apply across the board. Sometimes a problem will be above your pay grade, or could cause legal issues, or you simply don’t have the ability to solve it on your own.

2. I want to talk to a person, not ChatGPT

I have a very 2025 question. In my role, we’re the client of an agency that has two people working on our file. One of the two people is new to the workforce, and her responses are always straight from ChatGPT. I can tell she has plugged my emails in and copy-pasted an AI reply, which does not always make sense and always sounds robotic. Along with not really taking ownership of mistakes (and I think the AI use means she makes a lot of them) and responding in a very generic way, it is driving me nuts.

How do I handle this? I don’t find she properly reads my emails (missing information, getting times wrong, not responding to questions), and I have to wonder how much her use of AI is contributing to this issue. But obviously, I can’t prove it. The other person on our file is more senior, but not her manager. What do you think?

You’re the client; you have a ton of standing in this situation to push back! You could do that on three fronts: first and foremost, when the agency rep sends you something that doesn’t make sense or is overly generic, you should point out that it doesn’t make sense / doesn’t address what you were asking for. And if she’s not taking ownership of mistakes, you can push back on that, too — “I’m concerned that X happened; what’s the plan for making sure that doesn’t happen again?” Second, you could talk to the more senior person there and share your concerns (“I’ve been getting responses from Jane that don’t make sense and don’t include any nuance; my hunch is she’s using ChatGPT but I don’t know for sure — either way, we’re not getting what we need”). Third, you could talk to whoever is in charge of your contract with the agency and let them know you’re not getting what you need from the agency team.

You could do all or any of these — but you should definitely speak up, because they’re getting paid to provide you with a service that they’re currently doing badly.

3. My coworker is upset that I got the promotion he wanted

A coworker and I recently applied for the same position as a supervisor. We both have been filling in as interim supervisors and we both have been told we did well in that role. He admittedly has more experience than me in nearly every category and is much older than me. I’m 30 and he’s 50. I feel like I’ve been kinda being groomed for the position as the director has been letting me fill in more than my coworker, although he still does a good job. We weren’t close before this, but we were at least casually friendly.

I think he felt he was a a shoo-in for this position but he didn’t get it, I did, and he is pissed. It’s been a couple of months now and he doesn’t talk to anyone unless he absolutely has to. If I speak to him, he will reply but it’s very curt and he won’t give me eye contact. Normally he just finds an excuse to leave the room if I walk in. In his defense, he still does very good work, it hasn’t slipped at all and I’m not his direct supervisor, nor is the director who we interviewed with. The director did not follow up with him but I wish she would have. We were hoping that he would stay on to still fill in as needed, but he informed us that he felt that was a slap in the face and was not interested. We spoke to his manager, but her response was, “He’s doing fine with me and his work isn’t suffering” so basically deal with it. Is there anything I can do to maybe salvage how we were before?

Well, his manager really should talk to him. He doesn’t need to be chatty and gregarious with you, but it’s not okay to be curt either. Plus, she has someone on her team who’s clearly demoralized; that’s not something she should just ignore with, “Well, his work is still fine.”

But since she’s not going to intervene, there’s not a lot you can do. You should continue being warm, friendly, and professional, of course, but this sounds like something he’s going to need to work through on his own time.

(Also, there are managers messing up all over the place here! What’s up with the hiring manager for this position not talking to him about the decision? It sounds like there are some bad management role models around you right now, which is worth being aware of as you’re learning the job.)

4. Is our director recording us?

I work in a small office. Outside of the usual IT security, there is no known surveillance to monitor employee conduct or conversation. However, our executive director frequently makes comments about “hearing everything in the office,” whether they are there or not. We all think it’s a little strange, but what’s concerning is the inconsistency of how their door is left when they leave the office. Their office overlooks our cubicles and when they leave, sometimes the door is shut. Other times it is fully open, and at other times (particularly when they will be out of the office for an extended period of time) it is cracked about an inch. Thoughts?

I think you’re reading way too much into how their door is positioned. If they’ve told you they hear everything in the office and that seems to be true, even things they shouldn’t have been aware of, then you might be right that some kind of surveillance is going on, but I wouldn’t assume the door is a particular indicator of that.

You could also just ask outright what they mean the next time they mention hearing everything. (Who knows, maybe they just mean sound travels more than you realize and they hear conversations people don’t realize can be overheard.)

But for what it’s worth, if they are recording you without your knowledge, there might be legal issues with that. Employers are generally allowed to record employees but in most states need to inform them that they’re being monitored, so you should check your employee handbook or any written policies to see what might be in there.

The post “don’t bring problems without solutions,” coworker is upset that I got the promotion he wanted, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/dont-bring-problems-without-solutions-coworker-is-upset-that-i-got-the-promotion-he-wanted-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34240

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/what-questions-should-i-ask-in-an-internal-interview-with-people-i-already-work-with.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34179

A reader writes:

I’m fairly new to the workforce (~3 years) and, between a time-limited paid fellowship and moving cities for grad school, I’ve changed jobs a couple of times.

My current role is the first time I’ve been eligible to apply for a new role within my same organization, and while the job market makes me suspect that hordes of qualified people will be jumping on this posting, I’m optimistic about my chances. The organization would definitely prefer to hire internally if they can. I’ve already been cross-trained on some of the functions of this new role, and I know I can talk intelligently about my approach to the work in an interview.

But what do I do when they ask at the end of the interview if I have any questions for them? These are all people I work with on a weekly basis and, thanks to the cross-training, I have a decent sense of how this role’s supervisor manages and how the team works together. I already have a good handle on the organizational culture since I’ve been here over a year.

Coming up with questions for the ends of interviews is already something I struggle with, and I honestly have no idea what would be useful to find out as someone who already works here.

Think of this less as “questions I ask at an interview” — which I suspect is keeping you mired in more the more traditional questions you might ask when you’re an external candidate — and more as “questions I truly have when I think about what it would be like to be in this job long-term.”

Because I bet that you do have some questions, even though you know the team already! For example, wouldn’t it be useful to know things like:

• What do you expect to be the biggest challenges in this position in the next year / what have previous people in the role found to be the biggest challenges?

• What will be the most important things for the person in this job to accomplish in the next six months?

• How does the success of the person in this position get measured?

• What’s the difference between doing an okay job in this position and doing a really great job at it?

Plus, your familiarity with them means that you can ask deeper, more nuanced questions of your interviewers — which also reinforces to them that you might be more ready to take on the job than someone coming in completely new. For example:

• In the adjacent work I’ve been doing with you, I’ve seen that (aspect of work/culture/etc.) has been (fantastic/slightly challenging/especially interesting/etc.) because (reason). Can you tell me more about (what your experience has been like with that/how you’ve seen that play out on the team/how that’s likely to play out in the day-to-day work for this position)?

• I know you’ve been putting a lot of work into getting a new X ready to roll out. What’s the timeline looking like for that, and how is that likely to impact the work of this role?

• How have the changes to X been affecting this position / the team?

But beyond that, think about what you really want to know. When you think about doing the work every day and being on this specific team, what’s still unclear to you? What do you wish you knew? People sometimes feel stumped about what questions they should be asking in an interview because they get too into the mode of “what should I ask that will reflect well on me,” but generally if you really think about it, there’s lots of stuff you don’t know yet and might like to.

(Also, this isn’t what you’re asking about, but always with internal interviews, don’t assume your interviewer knows the details of your work or your accomplishments, even though they’ve worked with you. They might have forgotten, or never have known, or might even be prohibited from considering anything not specifically presented in your interview. Explain your work and skills the same way you would to an interviewer at another company.)

The post what questions should I ask in an internal interview with people I already work with? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/what-questions-should-i-ask-in-an-internal-interview-with-people-i-already-work-with.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34179

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/a-new-employee-has-gone-awol.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33248

A reader writes:

My husband, Jim, is a managing attorney at a small firm that is entirely remote, with lawyers spread out across the region. He recently hired a mid-level attorney, Fergus, who is based in a different city and who reports directly to him.

Fergus started 10 days ago and to date appears to have done no work. Beginning on day one, he began telling Jim and other senior attorneys that he was having a “temporary personal crisis” and needed more time to finish the assignments he was given. He didn’t specify the nature of this crisis, and no one has felt comfortable probing and they have tried to be accommodating. But now deadlines are approaching and they have no sense of when or if Fergus will be able to turn around his assignments. He appears to have billed zero hours using the firm’s time-keeping system, but every time they have checked in with him, he emphasizes that the crisis is temporary, will be resolved soon, and says he can turn some things in the following day — implying that he’s been working on these matters. But he never turns in anything.

What do you advise they do at this point? It’s a small firm with no real HR and none of the managers have ever dealt with a situation like this before. For what it’s worth, there was one potential red flag during the interview process: Fergus had quit his last job of five years with no other job lined up. He said he quit because he couldn’t stand working there anymore. Jim decided to overlook this because he comes from a similar Big Law environment as Fergus, and he thought Fergus was a good fit for the firm’s needs.

I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

Other questions I’m answering there today include:

• Is my CEO stringing me along in her succession planning?
• Should I give feedback to an overly enthusiastic and unprofessional intern candidate?

The post a new employee has gone AWOL appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/a-new-employee-has-gone-awol.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33248

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/coworker-is-being-really-weird-about-our-breaks-are-employee-of-the-month-awards-useful-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34207

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Fire one employee, both employees, or no one?

I am an assistant manager at a chain restaurant. There are two employees who should be fired due to violating our call-out policy, which is two NCNS (no call, no show) in a row is automatic termination and if you can’t make your shift you need to call the store with at least three hours notice. Both employees have violated this in different ways.

Adam gives three hours notice sometimes but calls out at least once a week, and dictates his schedule to us instead of us scheduling him as we need him. He refuses to call and opts to text out, but is never a NCNS. He is generally well liked by staff, but acts like he didn’t need the job.

Ben doesn’t usually call (or communicate) at all, has missed about six shifts in the last month, but not in a row. He wants to work and is desperate to pick up hours, but is disliked by most of the staff (to the point a couple people refuse to be scheduled with him). He has also shown a tendency for violence/aggression.

I’m feeling at a loss what to do. My higher-ups want Adam gone and I like him, minus how flaky he is. I want Ben gone, but my immediate manager wants to keep him. I personally feel that if I fire one, I have to fire both. I also feel that I should respect chain of command, but I really want to talk to my district manager for input and go over my general manager’s head. I would like your advice on if I should let it go, fire one or both, or escalate it please.

Totally aside from the attendance issues, you should fire Ben. Multiple people are refusing to work with him and he’s shown a tendency for violence/aggression. I don’t know the specifics of that last part, but if it’s anything like what it sounds like, he should be gone today. That should be an easy case to make to your higher-ups. People need to be safe at work.

With Adam, it comes down to the impact of his scheduling issues on the actual work. Is it causing coverage problems? Do you have to scramble at the last minute to fill his shift? Are coworkers frustrated by having to cover for him last-minute? Disregard the thing about it feeling like he doesn’t need the job; that doesn’t matter. What matters is the work impact of his actions. If his actions are disruptive, talk to him and tell him what needs to change for him to keep the job, and then stick to that.

It sounds like there are political concerns with all of this with your general manager, but this is how I’d look at each.

2. My coworker is being really weird about our breaks

I split front desk duties with a coworker, Mary. We each spend half a day at the front desk and the other half doing other office support work. Everyone in the office gets a 15-minute morning and afternoon break and an hour lunch.

Part of splitting the front desk means that Mary and I cover each other’s breaks. The other things we do around the office cannot be done at the front desk (for confidentiality/logistics reasons). So, when it is time for me to cover her lunch, it puts a firm end time on what I’m doing.

For a couple of weeks, Mary has been combining both her breaks in the morning. Since I do office support work in the mornings, this means that sometimes I’m leaving my task for almost an hour, but at least 45 minutes to cover her breaks (it would push an hour if there was something weird we had to switch off on). She did this a couple of months ago when I was learning a new task, and when I explained that 15 minutes was precious to me while I was learning she stopped.

Yesterday I pointed out that the longer morning breaks were back and she looked taken aback but said that she would go back to 15-minute breaks since she understands that she was taking away time from me to work. Later in the afternoon, she came to me and said that she has decided to stop taking breaks completely because she couldn’t trust herself and was getting confused. I told her very clearly that I do not want her to stop taking breaks. She also asked if I wanted her to come in half an hour earlier in the mornings, and I said of course not. Today she is noticeably chillier with me, and I’m at a loss. It seems so ridiculous to make a big deal out of a short break, but I brought it up because I think it is part of a larger problem of her being dismissive of me; this is just the most obvious thing she does. I don’t want to escalate this, but I also do not want it to fester.

You could go back to her and say this: “I want to make sure I correctly conveyed what I was trying to say, since I think we miscommunicated. I would never ask you not to take your breaks. My request is only that you not combine two breaks into one, since that makes them a lot longer and makes it harder for me to get my work done. If you stick with a morning break and an afternoon break, not combined, that solves the problem.”

If she still chooses to be chilly with you after that … well, that would be a weird reaction, but I would also assume she will get over it in time as long as you continue being pleasant and warm with her.

3. No one is doing anything about an employee in crisis

A strange thing happened the other day, and I was so taken aback and sure that it was a one-off bad day that I did … nothing, in the moment.

I took a junior with me to a company meeting and her behavior was startlingly off. Our work rarely intersects so I don’t usually work with her one-on-one, and never on a regular basis, but I’ve known her in the past to be gentle, steady, considered, and well prepared. Her behavior during this trip was, quite frankly, terrifying and out of character. She was by turns aggressive, scattered, paranoid, and then mumbling into her hair and twice started randomly screaming at motorists.

We work with people who have experienced family violence, and so we have some knowledge regarding identifying and managing people who are experiencing extreme trauma responses, which can sometimes look like (and be mistaken for) drug use (meth, etc.) and psychosis. I later reported what happened up the line as I’m confident that for either of the three causes, our organization’s response would be compassionate and considered.

It’s now a week later and, after observing other instances of bizarre behavior and people’s reaction to it, I’ve realized that people across various levels of our org were aware of an extreme personality shift months ago and seem to have done nothing at all, but are actively avoiding her. There have been some disruptions to our HR and reporting processes, but I guess I’m stuck being really frustrated at my colleagues and organization for not appropriately addressing what is quite obviously a person in distress who we have previously known to be absolutely not like this. Shouldn’t people in our industry, with our knowledge, understand that an extreme sudden change in personality needs to be flagged as an urgent issue?

Yes. Can you push the issue further / escalate it higher / be more emphatic that a more formal intervention is needed? Not only is that in the employee’s interests, but it sounds like the behavior is disrupting your workplace as well and making people avoid her — this is long past the point of someone needing to step in.

4. Are “employee of the month” awards useful?

This is something I wondered about for years: are those “employee of the month/quarter/year” awards really worth anything for the employees? Like can they use it as a résumé booster or are they more likely to be chosen for an internal promotion? I’m not from the U.S. and I never seen or heard from those awards being used by companies here, only on TV shows, but there those awards are used for jokes.

They’re not generally worth anything in the sense you mean (as resume fodder or qualification for promotion), but when they’re done in reasonably functional companies, they can make people feel appreciated and reinforce internal messages about what good performance looks like. But they’re no substitute for raises, good management, skills development, paths to promotion, and ongoing positive feedback — and so when you have them without those things in place, they tend to ring hollow and breed cynicism.

5. Why isn’t this hiring manager getting back to me?

I’ve been experiencing a dilemma with an employer I’ve been in contact with since the summer. I’ve been considered for a great opportunity with a well-known company. I first messaged the hiring manager on LinkedIn when I saw the job posting, and she replied back instructing me to send my resume to her work email. This cold messaging led to a call with her company’s internal recruiter, who wanted me to have an interview with said hiring manager. The recruiter and I had agreed to let the hiring manager contact me directly for the next steps. It’s been three weeks since that call, and I have not heard from her. I have followed up with the recruiter three times, and he said that he has reminded her. He has also told me that she has a busy schedule right now due to business-related events.

Should I reach out to the hiring manager directly myself since I have her contact info? Or should I ask the recruiter to organize the interview? I don’t want to seem pushy by following up every so often, but my patience is wearing thin. I’m also starting to become less interested in the opportunity.

You should leave it alone; the ball is in their court. If she wants to get in touch with you, she will. The best thing you can do is to assume that it’s not happening right now for whatever reason (stronger candidates, more pressing priorities, whatever it might be) and put it out of your mind. At the absolute most, you could make a note on your calendar to check in with the recruiter one final time in a month, but other than that you should figure it’s in their court.

The post coworker is being really weird about our breaks, are “employee of the month” awards useful, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/coworker-is-being-really-weird-about-our-breaks-are-employee-of-the-month-awards-useful-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34207