himejoshiheart: tbh creature but fictional fanon cowboy man. the endo flag is overlaid over it and if you tell me to kms over that you can eat my entire ass (Default)
[personal profile] himejoshiheart posting in [community profile] fan_flashworks
Fandom: PMD: Destruction Call (can tag as just pokemon) x Cassette Beasts
Rating: G/General
Artist notes: i have no idea how to tag cbcs/dekudogs sorry if im not doin it right lol
Content notes: it's a gif! also this is an au of barkley where instead of getting isekai'd into new wirral he ended up in the pmd: dc universe as one of the local fakemon (a laelapis specifically, he's also a delta pokemon, too.) lol
Summary: barkley under the stars!!!

nice night under the stars... )

moar yarn

Aug. 19th, 2025 09:15 pm
yhlee: Alto clef and whole note (middle C). (Default)
[personal profile] yhlee
What I do when sick: more spinning.





Now that I can spin wool blends at all, next up: working on consistency.

Soap

Aug. 20th, 2025 01:00 am
[syndicated profile] metafilter_feed

Posted by clavdivs

'Search For Tomorrow.' 1953. Don Knotts and Mary Stuart. [slyt. 14:24]

"In this 1953 episode Joann (Mary Stuart) asks if Wilber (Don Knotts) will ever wake up from his coma and be normal again. Interesting special effects in the nightmare dream sequence. This is of course a "live" show. Wilber's face was filmed before the show, tossing and turning. When airing the show "live" they ran the film, and superimposed the "live" Don Knott scenes during the broadcast to get the dream effect, since he couldn't be in two places at once. Pretty neat special effects for 1953."
A bit slow and surreal as this was supposedly only Don's serious acting role.

2538 / Fic - The Old Guard

Aug. 19th, 2025 09:09 pm
siria: (old guard - joe and his nicky)
[personal profile] siria
Any Just Cause
The Old Guard | ~7500 words | Joe/Nicky, Andy/Quynh, past Nicky/Quỳnh, AU | Thanks to [personal profile] sheafrotherdon for betaing.

(Also on AO3)

Maybe their marriage wasn't working because Quỳnh was a lesbian; maybe it also wasn't working because Nicky was gay. )

Dear Rarepair creator

Aug. 20th, 2025 02:48 am
trobadora: (Huo Wensi - hypnosis)
[personal profile] trobadora
Dear [community profile] rarepairexchange creator,

thank you so much for writing a story or creating art for me! I'll be absolutely thrilled about anything you can create about the relationships I requested, and everything important is in the requests themselves, but if you'd like even more info, general likes etc., here you go,

My AO3 account is [archiveofourown.org profile] Trobadora, and it's set to welcome treats.

General Preferences

Likes & Dislikes/DNWs )

Fandoms and relationships

In somewhat alphabetical order - note that some sections are expanded compared to the sign-up form:

Jump directly to:
绅探 | Detective L: Huo Wensi/Luo Fei )

Grimm: Nick Burkhardt/Sean Renard/Juliette Silverton )

镇魂 | Guardian (TV): Ya Qing/Zhu Hong )

Grimm/Guardian crossover: Renard/Ya Qing )

Legend of the Seeker: Cara/Darken Rahl )

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: Anastasia/Jabberwocky )

Time Engraver Crossovers: Time Engraver/Zhao Yunlan, Time Engraver/Jiang Yang )

长公主在上 | Eldest Princess On Top: Li Yunzhen/Gu Xuanqing )
merryghoul: River sonic screwdriver comics (River sonic screwdriver comics)
[personal profile] merryghoul
This is probably a very unique review for me. So on Tuesday 19 August Big Finish released (exclusively on their website) the third audio drama in The Death and Life of River Song series, The Dissolution of Time, fully written by Big Finish writer Rochana Patel. There's a general audio blurb on their website but not a summary of what each individual chapter has. So I'm going to try my best to summarize each chapter (with some spoilers, but this won't be a full summary of everything in the audio drama) before talking about my thoughts about the whole audio drama.

But in short this audio drama finds River teaming up with a seven foot panther-like alien trying to stop a time disturbance in Tudor England. And even that's not a straightforward look at the audio. (Dust was described in Big Finish's magazine Vortex, issue 197, so I'm not considering that a spoiler.)

Read more... )
starwatcher: Western windmill, clouds in background, trees around base. (Default)
[personal profile] starwatcher posting in [community profile] fancake
 

Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings: Hermione/Harry
Characters: Hermione, Harry, Hermione's father and mother, Harry's mother, other canon characters
Rating: Teen
Length: 31,500 words
Creator Links: CatsAreCool / Rachel500 / TrekCat
Theme: Marriage of convenience, AU: Fork in the road, Working together

Summary: Lady Hermione Granger needs to get married in order to secure her inheritance and everybody agrees that the best candidate to help her is the Earl of Gryffindor, Defeater of the Dark Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter.
        There's just one problem: they're not friends and Hermione may have once told him, thanks to some meddling Weasleys, that she'd never get involved with him.

Reccer's Notes: Excellent story. AU - Hermione never cared much for Harry, but when she's required to marry, he's the logical choice. I love how they discuss it like adults, reach a mutual agreement, and then find themselves gradually falling for each other. And all of this adult attraction goodness is nicely interwoven with an intriguing mystery. It's a well-told story with a thoroughly satisfying ending.

Content Notes: Canon-typical violence including attempted murder via spells, mention of old-fashioned patriarchal approaches to women including conc.ept of ownership and arranged marriages, use of love potions. Mildly anti-Dumbledore, anti-Ron and Ginny Weasley

Fanwork Links: A Convenient Arrangement by TrekCat at AO3
 

Next-gen Fruits Basket fans

Aug. 19th, 2025 04:12 pm
umadoshi: (Tohru & the pretty boys (flamika))
[personal profile] umadoshi
Over the last...several months?...[personal profile] wildpear introduced Pumpkin and (to different extents) a couple of other teenagers to Fruits Basket. Pumpkin got the double anime experience, starting with the 2001 anime and then going on to the 2019 anime, and while they were still working their way through the latter, they also restarted it to show it to two different people, including M, Pumpkin's agemate among our local friends' kids. Throughout, [personal profile] wildpear texted me intermittent reaction updates, which was a delight.

Now that they're all finished (on the anime front), [personal profile] wildpear brought Pumpkin and M over for an intergenerational fandom yard hangout last week! (Of the 2001 anime, M has only seen the very ending, in a sort of "must know what the horror actually is". For anyone who doesn't know, the original anime is mostly really charming and has a lot going for it, with most of its weaknesses being pretty understandable given when it was made and where the manga was at that point, but its ending is a straight-up travesty and an abomination.)

Jumping ahead a bit: you may notice the absence of the manga in the above, which has now been resolved! I initially had been like, "Well, I have a lending set, and its day has come!", but by the time the visit actually happened and I'd unearthed said set (a combination of the five 2-in-1 hardcover volumes Tokyopop managed to release, and the rest of the series in the standard Tokyopop edition), I'd talked sense into myself and decided to make it a gift instead. I'm not actually sure the lending set had ever gone out of the house (other than [personal profile] wildpear, the only person who'd ever read my hard copy was my sister, and that predated the lending set, IIRC), and I didn't honestly need four sets* in the house, even if one of them is in Japanese. So that box has gone off into the world, and while I warned everyone that manga spines aren't as sturdy as anyone would like, they don't have to worry about keeping the books pristine for me.

Anyway! Seeing the three of them was lovely. cut! )

A-Mays-ing

Aug. 19th, 2025 06:24 pm
[syndicated profile] metafilter_feed

Posted by chavenet

Díaz led off the inning by smoking a 105 mph drive out to right-center field, but [Jung Hoo] Lee quickly raced into Triples Alley and went into a slide to try to secure the ball. The ball ended up popping out of his glove, but Lee somehow managed to keep it trapped between his legs and hang on for the out. "The wind was pretty heavy, and the ball was reaching out a lot, so I went for the slide," Lee said via interpreter Justin Han. "I did catch it, but I felt like it was going under my body, starting from the chest. It was a funny catch, for sure."

Related: Willie Mays: The Catch Willie Mays Made "The Catch," but How Great Was It?
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Posted by mephron

Welcome to the LGBTQIA+ News Post for August 19. Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try, I'll never know.

Sorry about the delay. I had a pretty bad week, but it's time to get back on the broom and defy gravity. The Bad News The State Department has removed all references to anti-LGBTQ+ abuses from the annual human rights report. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has told LGBTQ+ couples who are thinking about it to get married while they can, because she believes that the Supreme Court will overturn Obergfell and nationwide marriage equality. The Office of Personnel Management has announced that in 2026, no gender-affirming care will be covered for Federal employees by available insurance plans.
As an exception, counseling services for possible or diagnosed gender dysphoria must still be covered. Covered counseling services must be provided by a licensed mental health provider and may include those who provide faith-based counseling.
...but conversion therapy is covered. Five school districts in Virginia have stated that they will not change their rules and allow trans students to use lavatories and locker rooms aligned with their gender identity, so of course the Regime has pulled their federal funding. UCLA has rejected a demand from the Regime to restore their federal funding.
The demands reportedly include a large monetary settlement, an end to diversity, equity, and inclusion practices, and a rollback of transgender rights on campus. That rollback would ban transgender students from participating in sports, living in dorms, and likely using bathrooms consistent with their gender identity, as well as halt the provision of gender-affirming care by the university's hospital and medical school—demands similar to those made of other prestigious schools that have capitulated to Trump.
It also included the UCLA medical system ending all gender-affirming care. This comes after Columbia, Penn and Brown bowed down and kissed the ...ring. yeah, we'll go with "ring". In the meantime, the state of California is fighting the Regime stating that this sort of thing is illegal; a court has agreed that the freezing violates the rights of the states, and the Regime is claiming it's a "suspension", not a "termination", and therefore it doesn't violate that ruling. They are also claiming that all hairs can be split easily. Gerika Mudra, a lesbian teen in Minnesota, was forced by the staff at a Buffalo Wild Wings was forced to prove she was female to use a women's restroom. A lawsuit is pending. Florida Governor and undisclosed high-heel enjoyer Ron DeSantis signed a law that specifically bans nonstandard road decorations, like, say, pride flag painted crosswalks. The Florida Department of Transportation has now sent out a bunch of letters that if cities don't fix this, the state will and charge them for it. This includes the Florida cities of Delray Beach and Key West. Orlando has not gotten this thread for the Pulse-inspired crosswalk... yet. In the UK, the gym chain Virgin Active has stated that trans people will not be able to use changing rooms or bathrooms of their gender identity, but must use their birth gender, stating this is to be in compliance with EHRC guidance, which hasn't been fully released yet. There's no opposite for a cinnamon roll that I know of, but if there was, this is it: Chris Pratt defends 'wonderful' relative and US health secretary RFK Jr. Ugggh. The Good News In a follow-up to last time's story about Marks and Spencer in the UK issuing an apology to a TERF who was offended by a trans employee asking her daughter if she needed help in the bra section, we have a post on Reddit ostensibly from the employee in question stating that M&S has, in fact, been awesome to her, and that they withdrew the hastily-issued apology after finding out the truth. Czech Games Edition (CGE), the publisher behind the board game Codenames, has announced that it will donate 100% of the profits from its Harry Potter-themed edition, Codenames: Back to Hogwarts, to charities supporting trans communities. The decision comes in response to widespread criticism over the company's licensing of the Harry Potter brand, given author J.K. Rowling's controversial views on gender identity. A Texas judge, appointed by Dubya, has written a decision for the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in a 2-1 decision that put a huge hole through the West Texas A&M ban on drag shows, stating that drag shows "plainly involve expressive conduct within the protection of the First Amendment." The original cancellation was stated, by the college's president Walter Wendler as being a form of "derisive, divisive and demoralizing misogyny", also comparing it to blackface. The dissenter on the decision, James Ho (appointed by the Regime Head) wrote in his dissent that "drag shows enjoy greater favor among cultural elites than... religious activities," that bans on drag are necessary to protect cisgender women, and that forcing universities to host on-campus drag shows may lead to courts forcing universities to implement transgender-inclusive policies. Judge Ho, you need a cerebral enema. Comic Marc Maron has declared war on comedians who use anti-trans humor:
"At this point, it's lazy and sloppy and hackneyed," Maron declared, specifically addressing the prevalence of anti-trans material in comedy clubs. Maron painted a vivid picture of what he sees nightly at venues like the Comedy Store: "I'm walking down the hall at the comedy club and in one room someone's doing their bit about trans people and then I get down the hall and there's someone on stage going, 'Well, I guess I got to do my bit about trans people.' Like, no, you don't. You don't. It's hack now."
Thanks to Kristi, I now know that Americans of Concience has some cool news, with these being the LGBTQ+-specific ones:
  • WI's Supreme Court clears the way to permanently ban so-called "conversion therapy."
  • The Pittsburgh City Council unanimously passes three bills to further safeguard LGBTQ+ residents from medical and other forms of discrimination.
  • Drag Race's production company helps support small-town Prides across the country.
  • Pope Leo will not rescind Pope Francis' declaration of approval for blessings of same-sex couples.
  • In recognition of her efforts to support LGBTQ+ rights and enhance climate protections, Pattie Gonia becomes the first drag artist to make the Time100 list.
  • Boston opens a new park named in honor of Rita Hester Green, one of the people whose death inspired the creation of the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
  • LGBTQ+ people of color break records with this year's Emmy nominations.
  • Budapest residents gather for a massive Pride celebration in defiance of Hungary's new, oppressive anti-LGBTQ+ laws.
The (very dirty) Cinnamon Roll Report Renee Rapp has informed the world through the podcast Long Winded with Gabby Windley that she loves scissoring and the use of a strap-on both giving and recieving. This is after she talked on the podcast Call Me Daddy about cheating in a relationship. And he's back - Pedro Pascal shows solidarity with immigrant families facing ICE raids in Los Angeles. Be well, friends. If you have news I missed or personal triumphs, bring them here! Let us know your joys. Something has changed within me Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes and leap It's time to try defying gravity I think I'll try defying gravity And you can't pull me down
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Posted by mahadevan

His models don't work, his claims of Artificial Intelligence fall far behind in reality. But Sam Altman has an ace up his sleeve. In a cunningly deft maneuver, he has claimed that it's "not useful" to talk about AGI since it means different things to different people.

As far as I remember, AGI had only one popular definition - that it would be smarter than us, take our jobs and strip us of purpose and meaning in our lives. For a guy who trained his AI on all of our content without consent, did some crooked mangling to turn a non-profit into a for-profit company, and finally could not even deliver on his promises, Sam Altman hopes to retain his job with his beautiful reframing as messiah whose mission is "grossly misunderstood" by us "mere mortals".
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Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I have a new coworker, Lee, who is driving me nuts. I am not their manager, but I lead our work team and am responsible for us meeting our goals. (I have been a people manager before but am not one now.)

Our team is basically the final QA check before a specific type of project can proceed — before the work can move forward, it needs a series of approvals, and we manage the approvals process (although we, as a team, do not grant the approvals). Many people in the company might only do this once during their entire tenure, so they are often unfamiliar with the process. If they don’t get the correct approvals, not only will their work be yanked later on in the process (potentially very publicly), but their manager and even director might need to get involved.

Lee came from a role where they didn’t have as much compliance involvement, so this is a role change for them.

What’s driving me bonkers is Lee’s conversational style. We hold regular office hours with the people going through this QA process to answer their questions about the process and direct them to next steps, and Lee is joining these meetings with me to learn the process. A lot of the process is situation-dependent and our documentation is lacking, so this is a key part of Lee’s training.

In these meetings, whenever they have a question, there is a long, rambling, self-deprecating and sometimes weirdly obsequious preamble,
such as, “Well this may be a naive question and you of course know what you’re doing much better than I do, and my experience is related but not exactly relevant, and y’all are doing SO SO GREAT with this project, it’s really good, but…” and on and on.

This is not an exaggeration. Every statement, question, or comment comes with multiple caveats, apologies, disclaimers, or weirdly interjected praise.

I guess my question is: how do I cut off this rambling in the meetings? These support sessions are usually only 30 minutes and we have a limited number of them available, so the people coming to us for guidance don’t have much time to get help. If Lee goes off on a tangent, I can do the “I’d like to make sure we have time to answer the attendees’ questions” redirect, but I’m stumped about how to say, “Please stop apologizing for existing and buttering them up and JUST GET TO THE POINT” when it’s both in progress and in front of people who don’t know my coworker or me.

Our team is very small and if I don’t train my Lee to do these meetings, I will be on the hook for nearly all of them (our other coworkers are in wildly different time zones so many of them are out of their working hours).

Lee speaks in a similar way in meetings with just me and I have taken to cutting them off in a way that I am worried seems rude. “No, no such thing as a naive question, you’re still learning.” “No, no need to apologize for being new to this, let’s just go over the topics for today.” “Thanks, but I don’t feel like what I did was especially amazing, this is just my job.” I don’t feel like this would be appropriate to do in the help meetings because we’re usually meeting the attendees for the first (and often only!) time, and because Lee isn’t speaking to me when they are rambling.

I’ve already had one conversation (with written backup) with Lee about conciseness in written communication, using standard English (we work with people all over the world so we try to minimize regionalisms to avoid confusion), and not over-apologizing in the emails we send. This conversation brought them to tears, because (as they told me) they are also neurodivergent and have a strong reaction to criticism, which I understand. I had our manager’s support before holding that conversation.

Otherwise they are a great coworker — very helpful, get their work done, and we get along fine. But I’m worried this verbal tic is close to sending me into BEC mode. :(

Can you suggest anything else for me to do? I am stumped because this seems like a very ingrained habit for them and I don’t know if it’s even possible for them to change.

It might not be possible for Lee to change, but there are a few things that could help.

First, does Lee have to speak in the meetings you’re doing jointly? If they’re there to learn the process, isn’t there an argument for them holding their questions for later so that the people in attendance have time to get their own questions answered?

If Lee eventually will need to lead these meetings on their own, this doesn’t solve the bigger problem but it could go a long way toward making these particular meetings more manageable.

Beyond that, though, either you or your manager needs to give Lee some pretty direct feedback about communication style. You mentioned that your boss is aware of the issues — but is she aware of their severity and the impact they’re having? If you haven’t already laid out the full impact Lee’s communication style is having, do that. She needs to know so that she can do her own job, which includes giving Lee feedback and hopefully coaching them to communicate in a way that will mesh better with the work.

But I also think you can be pretty direct with Lee yourself! For example: “I don’t know if you realize, but you often give multiple caveats and apologies before you ask a question. It’s slowing us down and making it harder to get through everything we need to cover. I know it might be an ingrained habit, but can you work on just starting with the question you want to ask? It’ll help us move faster.” This is a one-on-one conversation, obviously; don’t do it in a meeting with others. But the next time it happens while you’re talking one-on-one, name the pattern and ask them directly to work on stopping.

If you’re concerned they’ll get upset at hearing that, like they did when you talked with them about written communication … that’s okay! Obviously we’d prefer that people not get upset by things we have to convey at work, but the fear of upsetting someone (even the likelihood of them getting upset) can’t be a reason that you don’t say the thing that needs to be said. If they’re upset, they’ll need to work through that — but your part of this is to name what needs to change. Say it kindly, of course, but not saying it at all would actually be less kind … because if Lee doesn’t get this feedback, they’re going to go through their career putting off anyone they need to work with regularly. It’s far kinder to name the problem and let them know they need to work on it.

That doesn’t mean Lee can stop. What you’re describing — the excessive apologies and praise combined with a disproportionate reaction to even mild criticism — is something that can be deeply-rooted in a person’s psychology, and isn’t always easy to change. But Lee definitely won’t change it if no one tells them they need to … and it’s showing up at work in ways that give you standing to raise it, both with them and with your boss.

The post my coworker starts every question with tediously long rambling and apologies appeared first on Ask a Manager.

TV Tuesday: Disrupted Nostalgia

Aug. 19th, 2025 12:42 pm
yourlibrarian: Napoleon & Ilya on a motorbike (MfU-Napoleon & Ilya motorbike-sways)
[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [community profile] tv_talk

Laptop-TV combo with DVDs on top and smartphone on the desk



Are there shows, or elements of shows, that you now see quite differently from how you experienced them 10+ years ago?
bethbethbeth: (Bears Bike Outing (obsessed1))
[personal profile] bethbethbeth
Helpful hint if you're becoming more disabled as you age or as a condition progresses (i.e., if you're new to seeking travel assistance): figure out what sorts of thing are challenges for you in your day to day life, and see how the airports you'll be using can help.

In my case: I have relatively bad arthritis (some weeks worse than others), use a cane, have balance issues and intermittent vertigo.

The two airports I used (O'Hare in Chicago and Sea-Tac in Seattle) are usually both on the lists of reasonably accessible airports (guides, braille elevator signs, etc), and both had free wheelchairs. This would have been great given the extremely long terminal hallways without moving sidewalks, but unfortunately, it was too late by the time I found out.

Knowing about the free wheelchairs would have been especially useful when I was heading home. The TSA lines were wildly long at Sea-Tac and even though I explained my difficulty with standing in lines to SeaTac staff, I was told I had to go to the regular line (note: a roving TSA agent ended up - unprompted (although I probably looked bedraggled :D) - moving me to a faster line, but once you invoke a disability, accommodations should be made as a matter of course.

My return trip from Sea-Tac (after 5 days of hobbling around WorldCon) was also problematic given the inclines between each gate in Terminal D. Why do you have to trudge uphill with teenagers sitting on the side ledges, hanging their legs over the banisters? I shall probably never know.

Plus, there was no seating accessible to me at SeaTac. All the chairs would have been perfectly comfortable for me to sit in, but my cartilage-light knees & my vertigo won't usually allow me to get up facing forward without something to touch for balance in front of me once I'm up. I usually need to turn sideways to get up from a chair (unless it's a relatively tall chair) and touch the back for balance (unless I'm sitting next to a wall), which isn't possible with rows of freestanding chairs that all have armrests and all face each other. In my case, I found a lovely guy at the gate next to my departure gate (my gate personnel weren't there yet) who basically stole a wheelchair (the basic airport wheelchairs are just hard chairs on wheels with movable armrests, i.e., my favorites) and brought me to my departure gate, leaving me to sit in the stolen - and oddly comfortable - chair next to something I could use for balance later for the next hour. This was great, but it took me 25 minutes finding somebody to help)

Note: when I was heading to Seattle, O'Hare's departure gate did have chairs without armrests which made it easy for me to stand up without tipping over onto my face. I don't know whether having some chairs without armrests are part of ADA compliance, but even the lobby for O'Hare's car rental and bus pickup facility had a few of those. Thank you, O'Hare.

On the plus side, there were gender free bathrooms at O'Hare (single user) and at SeaTac (including multi user). I only used the one at SeaTac and the stalls all had full-length doors, which - let's be real - all public restrooms should have. I did overhear a youngish girl - maybe 12? - expressing shock to her slightly older sister about that, but then her parents said "Go in and pee. Our flight's going to be boarding soon." Good work, parents,
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Posted by brainwane

"We got a two pack of those grabbers that pick things up.... Recently I've been inspired to go on walks at night with one of the grabbers and a trash bag." Sean Killeen shares "a collection of unordered thoughts I've had while picking up some trash." And: "It's fun to kind of reverse engineer how the trash got somewhere, you know, like a cookout gone wrong." In 2023, the DeTrashed subreddit inspired Rachael Cain to start a social volunteer group that walks around New York City neighborhoods picking up litter, then ends each meetup with a triumphant photo with bulging garbage bags, then a food or bar hangout: Pickup Pigeons (Instagram proxy, sample photos).
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Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I need help navigating a work situation that has left me burned out, frustrated, and, frankly, a little desperate. I work for a small business, and my boss, Natalie (the owner), has put me in a position where I am essentially working two full-time jobs, with only a $1/hour raise to show for it.

I was originally hired as the office manager, a position that was described as fast-paced with no downtime. That was absolutely true. But early on, because I was finishing my marketing degree, Natalie started giving me small marketing-related tasks, which I was happy to help with. When I graduated, I continued assisting with marketing on the side while we had an external marketing contractor, Amy, handling the more complex tasks like paid advertising.

After a while, Natalie told me she wanted to stop working with Amy and have me take over marketing full-time. I was thrilled. She said she’d hire a new office manager and, in the meantime, we’d “do our best” to juggle everything. I made it clear that I couldn’t fully transition into marketing until we hired a replacement, but I’d do my best to balance things for a few weeks. That was five months ago.

Natalie has dragged her feet on hiring. She’s slow to post ads and takes weeks to follow up with candidates and, by the time she gets around to checking references, good candidates have already accepted other jobs. Meanwhile, my workload has doubled. Marketing responsibilities have continued piling on while I’m still fully responsible for office management, and it’s become impossible to keep up.

I’ve communicated – professionally, repeatedly, and increasingly urgently – that this situation isn’t sustainable. I’ve told her it’s affecting my mental health. I’ve pointed out that it’s hurting the company, too, because when I prioritize one role, the other inevitably suffers. If I focus on marketing, she gets frustrated that the storefront is messy or orders haven’t been shipped. If I focus on operations, she’s irritated that I haven’t finished designing a webpage or running an ad. She acknowledges the problem (even joking about my unfinished tasks), but then just keeps piling more work on me.

Her own business advisor has said multiple times that hiring an office manager should be the top priority. Other employees agree. But nothing changes.

To make things worse, she constantly oversteps boundaries. She texts and calls me at all hours. She put in the handbook that we’d have a recent holiday off but then decided the day before that we’d be open, so I had to cancel my plans and come in. After that, she tried to pressure me into running personal errands for her off the clock (which I refused).

I know the obvious answer is to leave, and trust me, I would if I could. But this is literally the only marketing job in driving distance of my tiny town, and I need the experience to land a remote role elsewhere. I do have a strong portfolio, but I keep getting rejected due to a lack of professional experience. In a year or two, I plan to move, but until then, I feel stuck.

What can I do to get her to finally hire my replacement? How do I set boundaries when she seems to completely disregard my time and well-being? And if there’s no fixing this, how do I survive in the meantime? I’m at my wit’s end.

You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.

The post I’m covering 2 full-time jobs and my boss won’t help appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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Posted by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I’m trying to figure out if this guy is actually harassing me at work or if I just dislike him to the point that literally everything he does irritates/offends me.

I (mid 30s/F) started at my job five months ago on a small team. There’s one guy on my team who’s around 50 and one level my senior who I’ve been having trouble with — we’ll call him Joe. I get vague creepiness vibes off him.

Over the course of the last five months he has:

• Tried to make himself my unofficial mentor
• Came by my desk multiple times a day (sometimes upwards of 10 times)
• Told me “you are beautiful” in Italian after I mentioned to him I had lived in Italy for a while
• Said “I’m still trying to figure you out” in a contemplative way
• Referred to me as “mommy” (I have a toddler)
• Made the comment, “I wouldn’t want to go up against you guys,” referring to me and the other woman in our group
• Noticed when I wash my car
• Noticed and commented on my key chain when it wasn’t visible

When a new woman started on our team, said to me:
Joe: Nobody told me the new girl was a giant!
Me: What?
Joe: She’s like 6’4”!
Me: (uncomfortably) Wow … She’s lucky! I wish I were tall like that.
Joe: No – you’re perfect.

He sent the following messages verbatim (English translations in parentheses):
Joe: Where are you hiding out at today?!
Me: Had training this morning at HQ … but daycare called for me to pick up my kid (puking) so WFH today
Joe: Awwww! You getting smarter, Mommy!
Joe: Sai leggere l’italiano? (Do you know how to read Italian?)
Me: I could probably make sense of it – what do you need to know?
Joe: Sembri preoccupato. Ho usato il traduttore online di Google. Grazie comunque, colomba di Roma. (You seem busy/worried – I used google translate. Thanks anyway, dove of Rome.)
Me: colomba di Roma = “dove of Rome”?
Joe: Yup, had to find something amusing, and Italian-like, lol!
He made a point to come after sending that to say he was “just joking.”

To top this off, he’s also a grade-A brown-noser and definitely appears favored by our manager.

Now, he’s irritating. And sexist. And has made racist comments (speaking in an Asian accent mocking the Chinese). And is ineffective at his job. But, does this raise to the level of sexual harassment? My husband says it does and wants me to report him. But what do you say?

Also, I need some canned responses to shut some of this down as well – because I’ve just about had it.

Eeeww.

Does it rise to the level of sexual harassment in the sense that if you sued your company over it, you would likely win? No.

Does it rise to the level of sexual harassment in the sense that he’s being inappropriate and creepy? Yes. Would your company probably tell him to cut it out if they knew he were making some of these comments? Also yes.

The stuff about noticing that you washed your car or got a new keychain is weird, but not really actionable.

But the next time he comments in any way on your appearance or is flirtatious, you should say, “Eeww, don’t say stuff like that to me.” If he protests that you’re overreacting or he’s just joking or any of the other immediate defenses dudes like this like to use, you can say, “Okay, well, please stop anyway. Thanks.”

Same thing with calling you “Mommy” (WTF?). Feel free to make your disgust very visible; you don’t need to shield his feelings. He’s being gross and you should let him see that’s how it’s landing: “Eeww, don’t call me that.” “Ick, never say that to me again, please.” “You’re not my kid, don’t call me that.” And again, if he defends himself, you don’t need to engage with that. You can just say: “Okay, please stop anyway.”

This might be enough to get him to stop. He’s most likely deluding himself into thinking you appreciate this and the two of you have a fun banter together or whatever, so make it clear that’s not the case and there’s a decent chance he’ll pull back.

But if you tell him clearly to stop and he doesn’t, that’s when it gets reportable. If you get to that point, talk to HR, not your manager — and mention the racism too.

That’s the beauty of clearly and directly telling him to cut it out: he’ll either stop (win!) or, by not stopping when asked, he’ll have turned it into a clear-cut issue to dump in HR’s lap.

You might also ask other women on your team what their experience has been with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if other people have issues with him as well, and you can encourage them to push back/report too.

The post is this guy harassing me or just annoying? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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Posted by wenestvedt

Teenage footballer from Scotland silences nasty critics with a strong debut, showing that online harassment can never match real world achievements A 16 year-old from Scotland made her professional debut with a goal on a free kick [SLInsta]. Despite social media posts about her signing having to be taken down because of vile comments by (overwhelmingly male) trolls, she took the field to demonstrate that she wouldn't be intimidated by social media.

The r/ScottishFootball subreddit has shown up in strength to support her and again. Kilmarnock plays in the second tier of the Scottish Women's Premier League, and Wikipedia says that the club is the oldest women's football team in Scotland. The Kilmarnock ("Killie") Supporters Association (for both the men's and women's teams) is said to have announced that they'll be sponsoring her for the next year. I think this TikTocker speaks for many of us. Go get 'em, Ms. Stout!

I like to move it, move it

Aug. 19th, 2025 11:58 am
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Posted by Wordshore

[Live feed] Over two days, a church in Sweden is being moved. Guardian: After eight years of planning, an estimated cost of 500m kronor (£39m) and an early morning blessing, a church in northern Sweden began a slow-motion 5km journey on Tuesday to make way for the expansion of Europe's biggest underground mine. BBC: As the short ceremony ended, engines rumbled to life and the massive wooden church began inching forward. In the first hour, it managed just 30m, the trailers' wheels slowly turning under its weight. The 672-tonne Kiruna Kyrka, a Swedish Lutheran church inaugurated in 1912, is to be slowly rolled to its new home over two days, at a pace of half-a-kilometre an hour.
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