enneagrams at a company retreat, intern can’t shake hands with men, and more
Sep. 19th, 2025 04:03 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
askamanager_feedIt’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat
I work at an organization with 100+ employees. We gather periodically for company-wide retreats. We have done this in the past with various professional learning opportunities. This time we were asked to fill out an enneagram survey that would be facilitated in conversation about “what truly drives you and how to apply that to your job.” I find it to be mumbo jumbo and about as scientific as astrology. I took the quiz and found myself increasingly uncomfortable with the questions and rigor of the survey.
How can I share this with management? How can they create alternative options for those of us who do not want to participate in such a session? Am I totally off-base here in my discomfort with this in the work setting?
You’re not off-base; it’s pseudoscience. Some people don’t really care about that; they figure it’s the equivalent of a Buzzfeed quiz and they have fun with it without putting a ton of weight on the results or they find it an interesting tool for self-reflection. But it’s legitimate to dislike it and to be annoyed if your workplace is spending time on it and putting real weight on the results. Moreover, materials about the enneagram can have a religious slant (sometimes a Christian one, while other branches of Christianity strongly object to it — either way, a problem at work).
At a minimum, you should point out the religious angle and ask if people can opt out.
2. My employee’s posts on LinkedIn make me worried that he might be violating our company AI policy
I have a question about my responsibility as a manager when one of my direct reports may or may not be violating our company AI policy. Like a number of other companies, we have an internal instance of Microsoft Copilot enabled that keeps data internal, and are permitted to use it (but no external tools).
Recently, I saw a LinkedIn post from one of my direct reports (he added me as a connection when he started the job), talking about a number of generative AI tools he has been using. I know he has a lot of hobby code projects that are completely independent of his job (he posts about them on LinkedIn often), and of course he is allowed to use whatever tools he pleases for those. What gives me pause is that this post talks specifically about generative AI tools for data analysis, which is a core function of his job.
It’s impossible to tell from the post whether he is talking about a personal project or his work, but it could be about either — it was a description of how he likes to use certain tools. If he’s using it for work, it’s a violation of our AI policy, and he does work with patient data (deidentified, so no PHI, but still concerning). I don’t want to overstep and grill him over his LinkedIn activity if it’s just for a personal project, but the possibility that he may be using it for work is concerning.
As his manager, I feel like I have to do something, but what is the correct course of action? Do I start by asking him? Do I start by reaching out to our go-to person for the AI policy (who I do have a strong working relationship with) to ask for guidance?
In case it makes a difference, he also drops the ball quite frequently on some bureaucratic things. For example, he failed to reset his password when it was expiring because he thought that the email telling him to do so (from an internal IT email address) was spam. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t realize that we have an AI policy, even though it is available on our intranet and must have been communicated when he started the job.
Just ask him! You didn’t go snooping and come across his mention of AI in a shady way; he connected to you on LinkedIn and posted it about there. You can just mention what you saw and ask about it: “I saw your post on LinkedIn talking about generative AI tools you’ve using. It’s pretty interesting! I did want to ask if you’re using any of them in your work here, and make sure you know the details of our policy on AI.”
3. Intern can’t shake hands with men
We had a grad practicum student in our office this summer, and she is Muslim (and wears a hijab) and tries not to touch men. This is easy to manage in our office, but during partnership events she found herself shaking some men’s hands even though it made her uncomfortable.
How I could have made these events smoother for her and our partners? Are there lines I could use while introducing her that indicate she prefers not to shake someone’s hand, or lines she could use herself? In the future, I would brief our partners quietly about it, but that’s not always possible. Our sector is very empathetic so no one will mind, but being junior and a minority led her to feel pretty awkward during these interactions regardless of whether she shook a man’s hand or politely declined to.
A lot of people who don’t shake hands for religious or other reasons develop a physical signal that deters the handshake while still conveying warmth (which, after all, is the point of the handshake, so a warm substitute really helps). A lot of religious people with this restriction will put their right hand over their heart and bow their head a little. If someone seems confused by that, they can say, “I don’t shake, but it’s lovely to meet you” (or “to see you” if they’ve met before).
If she’s going to do that, it will be easier if she does it with everyone, not just men. In a workplace setting, you really want to treat men and women the same, which means that if you have a restriction for one sex (whether it’s not shaking their hand or not being alone with them), it’s better to apply it to everyone.
4. What’s a professional way to say “it’s been one thing after another”?
It’s been a challenging few months, and I’m significantly behind at work. Things are starting to get better and I’m catching back up, but I have no idea what to say to people (if anything) about the communication delays and other dropped balls. My supervisor is in the loop, so this is more about communicating with coworkers and stakeholders.
In short, during a three- or four-month period, my tires were slashed three times (likely a hate crime but that’s not 100% clear), I bought a house for the first time (it ended up requiring some surprise repairs), I moved, and my pet died. Throughout these events, I seem to have consistently underestimated the level of physical and emotional exhaustion that would result, and the toll it would take overall. I took a lot of PTO, some planned and some not, and even while at work I was often distracted and not doing my best.
According to my supervisor, “this is the ebb and flow of life” but even if that’s true it seems rude to say that to people who have been inconvenienced by my “ebbing.” Citing “personal issues” seems too vague and open to interpretation, but I might be overthinking it.
Is there something quick and respectful I can say that doesn’t get into all the details but does somehow convey that I was Going Through Things But Now I’m Getting Back on Track? I feel “stuck” catching up on certain areas because I can’t figure out the first sentence for my extremely late email responses.
“I’m so sorry for the delay on this — I’ve been out quite a bit dealing with a situation that should be under control now. Let me get you the answers you were waiting on.” (Adjust last sentence to fit whatever the context is.)
Or: “I’m so sorry for the delay on this — I’ve needed to be out quite a bit so I’ve been in triage mode, and I apologize for not updating you.”
That’s it, truly! These options cover a whole variety of possibilities, shares the part that’s relevant, and is the right lead-in to whatever comes next (whether that’s getting the person info they’d asked for, figuring out next steps for a project, or so forth).
Related:
how do I hold it together at work during a personal crisis?
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Guardian: fic: Experiments in Dynamic Translation
Sep. 19th, 2025 03:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
china_shop posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fan_flashworksFandom: Guardian (TV)
Rating: E-rated
Length: 9,017 words
Notes: Part of my Breakage and Repair 'verse. In which Shen Wei and I both discover kink from first principles. Much much thanks to
teaotter for beta! (Riddles and conundrums are in the same ballpark, right?)
Tags: Chu Shuzhi/Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, Established Relationship, Domesticity, Soft D/s, Unplanned/Impromptu Kink, Identity Porn (literal).
Summary: It’s been just over ten weeks since his and Da Qing’s return to the land of the living, and in that time, Shen Wei has not yet had occasion to don his robes of office in front of Shuzhi—or indeed, to conduct any Envoy business at all in his presence. He’s visited the SID once or twice on official matters, but only in Haixing clothes, and he’s been sure to keep his manner light and casual in the public areas. Formal liaising is for the privacy of Zhao Yunlan’s office.
Now, faced with the prospect of a Dixing state dinner, Shen Wei discovers he’s slipped into—not so much keeping secrets as compartmentalising. Again.
( Experiments in Dynamic Translation )
How edible shelters for sheep could boost lamb survival rates
Sep. 19th, 2025 01:52 ammetafilter_feedit's goopey, but it's human
Sep. 18th, 2025 11:25 pmmetafilter_feedHere's a direct link to the video (youtube) and Ho-Tai's post about its creation (substack / archive alternative)
wednesday thursday
Sep. 18th, 2025 05:29 pmisisWednesday season 2, and I enjoyed it a lot! Okay, there were parts I did not enjoy nearly as much as others; I could have done without the zombie gore and Pugsley in general, and Enid's new boyfriend drama as well. On the other hand! (Which I guess is Thing, no pun intended!) Here are some things I particularly loved, ( behind a cut because they are very mildly spoilery for S2, more spoilery for S1: )
Me-and-media update
Sep. 19th, 2025 10:07 amchina_shopPrevious poll review
In the phone poll, 61% of respondents hold the phone to their ear, 40.7% put the call on speaker, and 28.8% wear an earpiece or headphones.
In ticky-boxes, cats with resting blep face came second to hugs, 61% to 69.5%. Thank you for your votes!
Reading
More of Inventing the Renaissance by Ada Palmer, read by Candida Gubbins. Andrew has started listening with me, so I needed a solo listen and, accordingly, am trying Black Water Sister by Zen Cho, read by Catherine Ho, which is great so far. (I've heard it contains one of my DNWs, so I'm approaching with caution.)
Kdramas
Finally finished Nothing But Love (it's so good!). Also finished Aema, which was fantastic, dramatic, pacy, with tons of complicated female relationships and femslashiness (fair warning: gets very dark in places). Two more episodes of Mystic Pop-Up Bar, which continues to be delightful, I did not see that romantic pairing coming!! (It's doing the Gobin "who is the reincarnation of whom??" mystery thing.)
In theory I'm still watching My Youth in the hopes it develops some/any dramatic/romantic tension... but now You and Everything Else is out, who knows. Viewing time is limited.
More Low Life this evening, yay!
Other TV
Mostly Dark Winds and Bluey. We would have watched more Chief of War and Prehistoric Planet, but my Apple app is refusing to stream, grrrr.
Guardian/Fandom
So much is happening! It's great! The Slo-Mo Guardian Rewatch is delightful,
guardian_wishlist is in its creating period (which is always much too short, argh), and I still haven't caught up with fan_writers comments. Also, omg, my tabs!!!I nominated for Yuletide and am having some earnest conversations with myself about signing up. Last year was my first year; it was a blast, but it was a lot. I could always just treat...
Writing/making things
I'm very close to finishing the unexpected-kink fic (still needs a title), but most of my focus is on
guardian_wishlist. I've finished one gift and started another, which is threatening to get long (the joy and curse of rarepairs), and I have a laundry list of things to write after that. I'm aiming for, like, six or eight in total, by 6 October, but it will depend on whether I can write short. Anyway, the current one is at least doing that delightful thing of occupying my brain when I'm not at my keyboard, making me jot down notes and dialogue when I wake up. I've missed this level of engagement.
Life/health/mental state things
Andrew's taking some time off work, which is an adjustment for both of us, and also great and much deserved.
Good things
Tuesday was a glorious sunny summery day. My new glasses are nearly ready. So Many Kdramas! TV-watching dates. Biking again. Bluey! Writing. Fandom and you all. <3
It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights
Kermit
17 (39.5%)
Fozzie
8 (18.6%)
Gonzo
12 (27.9%)
Miss Piggy
7 (16.3%)
Animal
18 (41.9%)
other / none / what?
10 (23.3%)
ticky-box full of I keep biting my lip, ow
8 (18.6%)
ticky-box full of paper tigers prowling stripily through their 2D jungle
20 (46.5%)
ticky-box full of Yuletide nominations
11 (25.6%)
ticky-box full of so many WIPs, so little time
13 (30.2%)
ticky-box full of hugs
32 (74.4%)
Hollow Knight: Silksong, finished act 1
Sep. 18th, 2025 11:08 pmschneefink( The rest of act 1 )
( The first glimpse of act 2 )
Write Every Day September 2025 - Day 18
Sep. 18th, 2025 01:28 pmcarenejeans(Another from Hemingway, doing it old-school.)
"Wearing down seven number-two pencils is a good day’s work."
-- Ernest Hemingway, in The Paris Review, (1954).
Today's Writing:
Er, too much reading & research & notes. Now, on to bullet points! ;-)
Tally
( Days 1-16 )
Day 17:
badly_knitted, brithistorian, carenejeans, chanter1944, china_shop, cornerofmadness, goddess47, sanguinity, sylvanwitch, the_siobhan, trobadora, yasaman, ysilmeDay 18:
china_shopLet me know if I missed you, or if you wrote but didn't check in yet. And remember, you can join in at any time!
Star Trek: Fanvid: The Riddle of a Federation Crew
Sep. 18th, 2025 11:16 pmtreonb posting in fan_flashworksFandom: Star Trek
Song: "Mutant Generations" by Bob Kanefsky
Rating: PG
Length: 1:13
Content notes: None
Vidder notes: None
Summary: For a sci-fi show, there's something very unscientific about Star Trek
( Embed )
Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye
Sep. 18th, 2025 07:02 pmmetafilter_feedHere's Apple's instructions page. Besides Spotify, one can import library and playlists from Amazon Music, Deezer, Tidal, and YouTube worldwide except Russia, Myanmar, and China. For those wondering about Apple Music's catalog depth, I found about 1,400 albums on AM that I'd had in Spotify, with only 85 unavailable. The process does inform you of near-matches for songs and albums that you can approve or reject for importation. Note that sometimes the same album is, in fact, available on Apple, but the title is different in a small way, e.g., "4" instead of "Four." If you have a shit-ton of playlists, the import function will choke on them, so that will require a bit of time and attention. Post title inspiration.
I turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and now they’re blowing up my phone
Sep. 18th, 2025 05:59 pmaskamanager_feedA reader writes:
For the bulk of my working life, I’ve been a very low-level lawyer in Washington, D.C. who managed to scratch my way into a few government contracts with the Department of Justice over the years. This definitely wasn’t my dream (poetry is … sigh), but things worked out this way and mostly it’s been okay.
After using your book (which was great), I was eventually hired full-time by another agency last December, but DOGE killed my position very shortly afterwards before I even finished onboarding, and since then I’ve been scrambling, since the whole legal ecosystem in D.C. is a mess and jobs have vanished.
Recently, a couple positions at DOJ were advertised on a normal, generic online job board. Advertised were Law Clerk I (lower) and Law Clerk II (higher) jobs in a non-evil DOJ division, on a project that was slated to go multiple years. It sounded so promising.
The company advertising the positions put themselves forward as a recruiter, and after a very lengthy back-and-forth (where my correspondent very clearly didn’t understand the norms of the government contracting world) and a call with the prime contractor (a major international consulting company), I was submitted and approved for the higher position. I was then surprised to discover the recruiting company was also the subcontractor and would be my immediate employer.
Well, okay … the prime contractor said they were desperate to hire several dozen attorneys, so maybe they partnered with a new-to-the-field company to get it accomplished on schedule.
After that phone call, the usual background checks and everything were pushed very rapidly. I got seemingly legitimate emails from the prime contractor and also the Department of Defense to fill out the usual security forms; the links in the emails all went to legitimate websites, so I felt fine with continuing.
Then everything came to a crashing halt this morning: the recruiter/subcontractor sent me the official offer letter … but it had the job title of the higher position and the pay rate of the lower position. The pay discrepancy between Clerk I and Clerk II is large — about $72K a year and $93K a year.
It felt like a simple miscommunication, so I replied politely asking for a correction. No, their HR said, that’s the rate. It can’t be negotiated — you already agreed to this.
Well, no, I didn’t. Their HR pointed to an email where I acknowledged the lower rate … as part of a general acknowledgement that there were two positions available. As in, I said, “Yes, I understand there is also a Law Clerk I position that pays X rate per hour.” But then I was submitted for Law Clerk II, and my call with the prime contractor was even titled “Call About Law Clerk II position.”
On top of the rate switch, the medical coverage was abysmal. So I declined to sign the offer letter and asked for an evening to consider my options and think it over.
Well, then I started getting spammed with urgent-sounding texts and calls from employees of all levels at this subcontractor, all asking me to talk this over. Some employees I had never even met or communicated with before!
It began to feel very scammy, and I told them the urgency seemed inappropriate. I talked to friends and family — all while still getting these texts, calls, and emails despite asking for space — and eventually decided I didn’t like the feel of this.
So I emailed the most senior-seeming employee that I was withdrawing from the position. Which was met with a reply, “Can I have a few minutes on the phone to clear this up?”
Everyone I’ve asked says this sounds like one of two different scams. The Long Con would be to hire me and bill me to the prime contractor at the higher rate, but pay me at the lower one and pocket the difference (not unheard of).
Or, scarier, The Truman Show, where the entire job was fabricated and designed to steal as much of my info as possible during the “onboarding” and that even my call with the prime contractor manager was faked. I’m really hoping it wasn’t this one, since it would mean they figured out how to fake government and corporate websites and security forms, which I dutifully filled out.
But underneath these scam theories is a nagging feeling that maybe I’m the one who misread things here?
Do recruiters or subcontracting companies normally invest so heavily in contract workers? I’ve never had multiple employees of a company text, call, and email me so heavily in quick succession to urgently “talk through” what seems like a simple mistake.
I’ve also never had a company insist I had agreed to a lower pay rate and then dig in their heels when I proved I didn’t.
What’s more: in the time it took to write you this email, they sent me an update where now they are happy to pay the higher rate and can “work something out” about the horrible medical coverage.
Am I going crazy, or is something going on here that is less than legitimate?
Something is weird here.
If you got legitimate emails from the government agency, I don’t think it’s a scam … but you should check the real sender of those emails; the “from” field can be spoofed, but the raw source data of the email can’t be, so look at that.
They may indeed be billing for you at a higher rate while paying you the lower one but, as you note, that’s a thing that happens — and it’s not the same thing as an identity theft scam or similar.
And unfortunately, it is sometimes a thing that a company will pull a bait and switch on what job they’re offering — leading you to think you’re interviewing for a higher level position but then offering you a lower-paying one.
But what’s really weird is the extraordinary high-pressure sell to get you to accept the job. Texts and calls from multiple employees there, even people you’d never talked to before? That’s not normal.
It’s possible that you have a hard-to-find skill set that’s crucial to them being able to staff their contract … but if that’s the case, the obvious next move for them would to offer you the higher-paying position, not to have scores of employees blow up your phone.
I don’t know what’s going but it’s odd, for sure.
You might as well talk to the most senior-seeming person who asked to talk about you withdrew and hear them out. Who knows, maybe they’ll say something that changes the way this looks.
But after that, if you’re considering moving forward, make sure you do a lot of research on the subcontracting firm … ideally including talking to the prime contractor again, preferably with you calling them at their publicly listed corporate number so that you’re sure of who you’re talking to. I’d also run the whole thing by anyone you know who’s part of the federal contracting world in D.C. (which is not me) and get their take, as well.
The post I turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and now they’re blowing up my phone appeared first on Ask a Manager.
"It's a pressure job."
Sep. 18th, 2025 06:04 pmmetafilter_feedThe LGBTQIA+ News Post, September 18, 2025: The Fire This Time
Sep. 18th, 2025 05:54 pmmetafilter_feedThe Bad News And boy is some of it really bad... We've all been following the Charlie Kirk shooting. To summarize the issues that this particular kind of post would address:
- No, the shooter was not transgender.
- Messages handed over to the police from the shooter's roommate, who some news outlets have reported is transgender and who the shooter seems to indicate was also their romantic partner, have been released to the press and indicate some of his possible motives.
- No, despite what numerous news outlets including the Wall Street Journal claimed in the initial breathless rushthere were no "pro-trans messages" on the bullets; they were all Internet memes or Helldivers 2 references.
- A transgender woman in Seattle was threatened when people online stated she was the shooter, when a Shitter account that talked about Kirk being killed a couple of days before the incident also retweeted a joke of hers. That is the only connection between the two.
- The New York Post has been kicking up anti-trans propaganda, continuing to find new and idiotic ways to blame trans people in embarrassing ways.
- On Fox News's Fox and Friends, commentator and wife of the most cowardly transportation secretary in American history Rachel Campos-Duffy suggested "the drugs they take" (the "they" in question being trans people) might be responsible for the Kirk shooting, following up with, "What do those drugs do to their body, their minds?" (I can tell her that for me, mentally, it made me much happier, so shove it, you harridan.)
- This week's Mortal Kombat involving Nancy Mace puts her against Ilhan Omar. Mace said that Omar "celebrated" the shooting and should go back to Somalia, and Omar retaliated that Mace should go into rehab. Mace filed a measure to have Omar stripped of her committees, which failed in the House 214-213 with four Republicans crossing the aisle to vote for tabling it.
"[Trans people] have legitimate psychiatric issues...we have to do something about this, we have to treat these people, we have to get them off the streets and we have to get them off the internet and we can't let them communicate with one another. I'm all about free speech, but this is a virus. This is a cancer that is spreading across this country."This appears to be the starting point of Stage 9. The head of the current Regime was asked a question by Margerine Traitor Greene's besuited boy-toy Brian Glenn, beginning with showing a picture of a Progress Pride flag on 14th St. in DC, asserting that, "A lot of people are very threatened by this flag. Would you be opposed to taking this flag down?" Herr Narrenführer replied, "Well, I wouldn't be. Then they'll sue, and they'll get freedom of speech stuff. So that'll happen. But I would have no problem with it." ICE has ended all gender-affirming care at a facility in Colorado. It was one of two that still provided it. In Michigan, Rep. Josh Shriver, an open bigot who has filed bills to overturn marriage equality and classify abortion as homicide and self-declared "Michigan's most conservative state representative", filed a bill this week to ban all online pornography entitled the Anticorruption of Public Morals Act. In the definition of "pornography" for the bill, this noble little bastion of conservativism included :
Is a depiction, description, or simulation, whether real, animated, digitally generated, written, or auditory, that includes a disconnection between biology and gender by an individual of 1 biological sex imitating, depicting, or representing himself or herself to be of the other biological sex by means of a combination of attire, cosmetology, or prosthetics, or as having a reproductive nature contrary to the individual's biological sex.As written this would include drag queens, family photos where a member of the family is trans, and selfies of trans people. This guy is the avatar of GOP assholery. Over in the United Kingdom, we see that Health Secretary Wes Streeting is saying that the study on puberty blockers is going slowly. The two year study, to categorize the long-term effects, was recommended by the Cass Report, and therefore probably has no good basis at all. In addition, the wait times for trans people to see a gender affirming care clinic has gone up, and Streeting claims there is more money being sent to deal with these waits, although whether or not to help or just deny people faster is unknown. In Wales, Reform UK has been growing in popularity and may win the Senedd (the parliament of Wales) if the vote happened now. It also would give, if a national vote came now, 271 seats for Reform UK in Parliament, up from the current five. Reform effectively states that Trumpism is the way to go. Please, people of Britain, wipe the smirk from the face of Nigel Farage. In corporate news, we can no longer call the company by name after both founders resigned in protest for what they violations of their company's contract with Unilever. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield founded the ice cream brand that bears their first names 47 years ago, and now both have left. And One Million Moms is ...am I reading this right? OK... protesting Wendy's for a tie-in with the Netflix series Wednesday. Anything to stay relevant when all the LGBTQIA+ hate is being taken up by the feds, I guess... The Good News Senators Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) and Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) have filed a bill to write the 988 crisis hotline for LGBTQIA+ youth into law and revive the hotline.
"We are in the middle of a mental health crisis, and the 988 lifeline saves lives, plain and simple." "There is absolutely no good reason that Donald Trump took away this specialized help for our LGBTQ youth. Mental health does not see partisan lines or geography, and I'm proud to be working with Democrats and Republicans to do what's right and ensure that all kids have access to the help they need – regardless of who is President."Rep. Maxine Dexter (D-OR) is pushing back against an amendment to the NDAA banning pride flags in the military. Nine Democratic attorneys general released a video pledging they will "never stop fighting" for trans students. The video hast statements from Delaware Attorney General Kathy Jennings, Maryland Attorney General Anthony Brown, Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison, Vermont Attorney General Charity Clark, Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel, California Attorney General Rob Bonta, Massachusetts Attorney General Andrea Campbell, and Oregon Attorney General Dan Rayfield. In Orlando, The owner of restaurant Se7en Bites, Trina Gregory has offered up 49 parking spaces for members of the community to paint at a recent event dubbed "Parking Space for Pride — A Rainbow Connection." The lot is on privately owned property and is not subject to enforcement of a law, signed by anti-LGBTQ+ Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) in July, directing the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) to remove all "surface art" from crosswalks and intersections, regardless of any underlying political message. She stated, "If they want to erase symbols of pride and acceptance, then we'll create even more of them." This year at the Emmys, there was a huge show of support for the LGBTQIA+ community, including members of the community winning about one-third of the awards. Winners include:
- Travis Tillman for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series for his role in Apple TV+'s Severance, both the first Black man and the first openly gay Black man to win the award.
- Hannah Einbinder for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her role on Hacks. She also said, "Go Birds, Fuck ICE and Free Palestine!" as part of her speech. The openly bisexual actress stated, "I feel like it is my obligation as a Jewish person to distinguish Jews from the State of Israel, because our religion and our culture is such an important and long-standing institution that is really separate to this sort of ethno-nationalist state."
- Somebody Somewhere star Jeff Hiller's first-time win for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.
- Alan Cumming accepting the award for Best Reality Competition Program while wearing a pink and blue pin by jewelry company Tatty Devine, of whch he said, "it's got trans colors, and it says 'not a phase,' because it's not."
- British actress Erin Doherty took home the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie, and gave a shout-out to her partner Sinéad Donnelly in her speech.
- Hunting Wives stars Brittany Snow and Malin Åkerman nodded to their characters' same-sex romance while presenting the award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie. "I don't mind waiting for you to come out..." Åkerman said after Snow joked that she was "really slow to come out" onto the stage.
ATLA: Heat, Wait, Steep, Repeat by Haicrescendo
Sep. 18th, 2025 11:22 amsinesofinsanity posting in fancakePairings/Characters: Zuko, Iroh, the GAang in the background
Rating: G
Length: 2,889 words, 19min 30s
Creator Links: Haicrescendo
Theme: Food & Cooking, character development, family, families of choice, going home, missing scenes,
Summary:
[Zuko’s greatest failing, not his only but just one that stands out the most in a very long list, is that he’s never known quite what he had until it’s gone. Or, on the opposite hand, he covets the things that don’t matter, that seem to matter so much at the time and turn out, in the end, to be something that Zuko’s made up in his head.
And then Zuko finds, of all things after it all, that he misses Uncle Iroh’s tea.]
Or,
Zuko screws up his life and in the process of fixing it, figures out some tea wisdom along the way.
Reccer's Notes: This story is so beautiful and gentle. I absolutely love seeing how Zuko's growth and character development is mirrored with his finally learning to make a decent cup of tea. Plus the neat detail of how he despite learning from and trying to emulate his uncle, he makes it his own way. Zuko and Iroh's relationship is lovely in this too. Just an all around lovely story. klainelynch does a beautiful job with the podfic as well
Fanwork Links:
Heat, Wait, Steep, Repeat
and the Podfic both on AO3
can team-building get you sued?
Sep. 18th, 2025 04:29 pmaskamanager_feedEmployment lawyer Robin Shea published a piece at legal analysis site JD Supra about my recent Slate column on mandatory “fun” at work — and she delved into the legal implications for employers. She points out that pressure to participate in things like escape rooms, sports, and yoga can give rise to legal issues around disability, pregnancy, age, and religion, as well as workers comp claims and wage and hour claims, and she offers advice to employers. It’s an interesting read.
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The beauty (?) of pre-streaming TV
Sep. 18th, 2025 12:05 pmjo posting in tv_talkThis topic arose out of a discussion on Bluesky and I thought it would be interesting to post it here. The premise is that before streaming, scripted television had to react to its own reality. What I mean is, shows that had to pump out 20+ episode seasons *every year* had to deal with actual real life things and work them into the script. For example, a character becomes pregnant because the actor gets pregnant, or a lead role had to "go missing" for part of a season because the actor was off doing a movie or dealing with a real life issue, or a character had to end up in a cast or otherwise accommodated because the actor injured themselves in real life, or the "filler episodes" that exist because of budget concerns, or the finales that were written because they didn't know if they'd be renewed for another season, etc.
With streaming, because the wait between seasons is so long, we no longer get these (admittedly sometimes rather demented) workarounds anymore. Or as one person on Bluesky put it: "If you can just tell the story you want to tell with the actors you have with whatever running time you want, it's not TV, it's a movie."
Thoughts? Do you miss the imposed responsiveness of pre-streaming TV? Do you have any favourite (or not so favourite) examples of plot lines that came about because of real life events involving the actors or other aspects of the show (e.g. budget issues)?Otomo Manben
Sep. 18th, 2025 03:16 pmmetafilter_feedUrasawa and his program Manben previously.
The International Space Station urine tank
Sep. 18th, 2025 02:54 pmmetafilter_feedask the readers: terrible advice for navigating work as a new parent
Sep. 18th, 2025 02:59 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
For various but mostly economic reasons, my spouse and I are not planning on having children. We both work in specialized fields that do not allow remote work, in roles that are required to be full-time. The best employment opportunities for both of us mean we’re locked into living in a high-cost-of-living area, and we rely on our full combined income to pay rent, bills, and student loans. This was our choice even before the current economic chaos.
My darling mother cannot fathom this decision. Her suggestions for ways to “make it work” with a baby have ranged from: “Take the baby into the office with you” to “just go part-time, you’ll still have health insurance.” An explanation of our finances does not help, because “everyone has worries about money but they make it work.” She’s even suggested that we should hurry up so we can use her for babysitting in the years before she retires. She currently works from home and intends to travel extensively during her retirement. (And all of this is ignoring that we lived with my grandparents and great-aunt for most of my early childhood!)
All of this to say: Readers in a similar situation, what other terrible, outdated advice for navigating the workplace as a new parent did you field from your families? How did you (or didn’t you) successfully communicate the current economic reality of having children? Not looking for solutions, just solidarity.
Personally I’d just tell her you’ve decided you don’t want to have kids and the decision is final. By framing it as being about money, you’re leaving it open for her to try to find ways to overcome that.
That said, let’s discuss terrible, unrealistic advice for navigating the workplace as a new parent! Readers?
The post ask the readers: terrible advice for navigating work as a new parent appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Community Recs Post!
Sep. 18th, 2025 09:49 amglitteryv posting in recthethingThis works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)
(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)
So what cool fics/fancrafts/fanvids/podfics/fanart/other kinds of fanworks have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.
BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here.