arduinna

metafilter_feed

Posted by chavenet

https://www.metafilter.com/210587/sq--o-llH

Hall of Fame Ambigrams

Prev iously

https://www.metafilter.com/210587/sq--o-llH

james

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askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/did-i-cross-a-line-with-the-messy-chaotic-organization-i-volunteer-for.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33384

A reader writes:

I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job).

Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off the board, and volunteers wouldn’t hear about it until a week or two after the fact. We also never had the organization’s bylaws or constitution available to volunteers, and no matter how many of us explained why we needed this, select board members would always give excuses as to why we couldn’t. At one point, they finally posted them, but when the website went through a long-overdue redesign, both forms disappeared from it again.

Isadora has been a board member for more than a year. Three months ago, the president and vice president suddenly quit with no explanation. Someone else had to step up as president, and Isadora had to step up as vice president. Both were doing the jobs of two or three people at a time, so Isadora was overwhelmed. I was also doing the jobs of two people. (I never learned about the former president and vice president quitting until it was mentioned in casual conversation a full week later. Two other volunteers learned about it the same way.)

Because Isadora was so stressed out, she chatted openly about stepping down from the board after a big public event we’re holding. Another board member, Duncan, told us he would do the same.

There was a big Instagram post from the barely-new president where he gave a heartfelt goodbye letter, and he talked about how he looked forward to “the new board taking [his] and others’ places.” The post had introductions of all the new members … including Isadora and Duncan. This confused me and made me think that they had changed their minds about leaving, or perhaps that no replacements had been found for them yet.

The next day, Duncan mentioned unprompted that he’s still planning to step down after the public event in three weeks. I asked about the Instagram post, which he didn’t see, but he said it’s correct since he’s still on the board.

I texted Isadora to ask if she changed her mind or couldn’t find a replacement, and she reiterated that she’s still leaving in three weeks. But she also added that her term was supposed to end four months ago, per the (still unavailable) bylaws, which I wasn’t told before. I told her that I understood that, but that my concern was that the Instagram post gave the impression that she and Duncan would be there for longer.

She replied, “How does it give that impression? People wanted us to announce who’s on the board, so we did. But apparently, they’re not happy about that either.” With a rolling-eyes emoji at the end.

I was taken aback by her tone. I replied with a three-paragraph text (that I revised three times to be as empathetic as I could) about the constant mixed messages and the lack of information on the website about the board, bylaws, and constitution. That yes, the post is correct *at face value* about who’s *currently* on the board, but that would change in only three weeks and that “new members” seemed to imply that they’d be there for longer. That I understood that she had been so stressed lately, but I still felt confused by the organization sometimes.

She replied, “So are you asking me to take the post down? Or give two weeks notice? I still don’t feel like this information is contradictory. People have been asking us who is on the board, so we announced it. Also people can quit the board at any time. We don’t force people to stay if they don’t want to.”

I tried to call her because I actually wanted to speak instead of text, but she wasn’t in a place to take a phone call. (And I never tried again because I didn’t want to seem combative or pushy.) I suddenly felt stupid for saying anything at all because I had no idea what exactly I was asking her to do, or what I should ask her to do. I apologized for bringing it up, to which she said that I don’t need to apologize and that she just didn’t understand what I needed from her. The last thing I told Isadora was that I didn’t really know if there was anything I needed from her right now, but that I appreciated her asking. I backed down suddenly because I felt ashamed of myself.

Maybe I just let the stress get to me, but I feel like there’s something not right about the post that I couldn’t place my finger on. And Isadora’s tone made me feel like I’ve crossed some line since she had never used it before with me (I can’t stop thinking about that rolling-eyes emoji). Is it unreasonable to assume that when someone makes a big announcement about “new members” that they won’t be planning to leave in three weeks? Did I cross a boundary?

You didn’t cross any boundary, but you are probably more upset about all of this than you need to be.

This organization is clearly a mess and they can’t hold on to board members.

The thing about the bylaws and constitution not being available to volunteers isn’t necessarily a big deal. It’s weird that they’ve had so much trouble providing them to volunteers when asked, but they’re not required to be publicly accessible. It’s best practice to make them available for transparency’s sake and it’s odd that they haven’t and it doesn’t engender any trust in them — but it seems consistent with the general chaos they operate with.

The confusion about Isadora and Duncan’s status as board members … eh. It seems like the president just referenced all the existing board members without regard to who’s about to leave. It’s not ideal communication, but it’s not a big deal. Isadora was probably annoyed when you contacted her because she’s been trying to get off the board for months and felt you were nitpicking the impression given by someone else’s Instagram post, which she probably didn’t think was a big deal or should need to be her problem to deal with (or anyone’s problem, really). She also sounds fed up with the organization in general.

Here’s the thing: this organization is a mess. I don’t know how well it functions when it comes to achieving its actual goals (not well, I suspect), but its internal operations are in chaos. You are clearly someone who does not enjoy functioning in chaos, so this organization is not a good fit for you; you’re going to find it aggravating (rightly so!) and you’re going to be constantly battling them to be something they aren’t. As a volunteer, you’re just not well-positioned to change any of this. Maybe if you wanted to get on the board, but honestly that sounds like it would be an exercise in frustration too. I’d also bet good money they don’t get great results toward their mission — which alone would be sufficient reason to take your efforts elsewhere.

There are lots of nonprofits doing good work that aren’t this much of a mess and which won’t frustrate you like this. Move your energy there instead!

The post did I cross a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization I volunteer for? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/did-i-cross-a-line-with-the-messy-chaotic-organization-i-volunteer-for.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33384

metafilter_feed

Posted by 99_

https://www.metafilter.com/210586/Youre-only-as-hot-as-your-last-hit-baby

Kelsey McKinney at Defector worries that we may have reached peak TS: "I think the answer is simpler: Greed will always destroy art, and Swift's desire for profit—her need to sell product when she already has far more money than any one person could possibly require—has destroyed her ability to create anything of value."

Pitchfork give it a meh. RS checks in with a rave (archive). New York takes perhaps the most logical approach to a release that had no less than 8 different pre-orders in multiple formats by flooding the zone, posting no less than 17 different times since last week. At Metacritic, it's sitting at 69 - not nice, as it is the lowest rating of her career. Such a poor showing may be alleviated by the nearly 3 million in presales, an achievement notable enough that it was worth rousing the iTunes X, The Everything App, account for the first time in a half decade. Those 3 million orders, in addition to several recent RIAA reclassifications, have elevated Swift to the top selling female artist of all time. Let us all gather for the latest installment of the endless palimpsest of swiftology (author flare: sour Gen-Xer who won't move past 1989, which is obvi a tautology).

https://www.metafilter.com/210586/Youre-only-as-hot-as-your-last-hit-baby

metafilter_feed

Posted by subdee

https://www.metafilter.com/210585/Architects-of-Destruction-Fear-Retribution

Amid escalating violence and a government shutdown, Curtis Yarvin is < making plans to flee the country; and in the Wall Street Journal today, Heritage Foundation lackey Eugene Kontorovich writes about plans to try Donald Trump in the International Criminal Court (urging that he should therefore try to undermine the Court now while he still can). I don't know about you, but both of these bits of news made me smile today.

https://www.metafilter.com/210585/Architects-of-Destruction-Fear-Retribution

askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/i-ask-candidates-their-salary-expectations-and-i-dont-feel-bad-about-it.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33231

A reader writes:

You’ve talked about how inappropriate it is for employers to ask candidates about their salary expectations without giving out any info on salary themselves.

I became a small business owner without having received training in that aspect of things, but learned early on when I am hiring to always ask the candidate their salary expectations before giving any information out about the range I am willing to offer. Why? Firstly, the money comes directly from our pockets and frankly if we can get away with paying $20/hour instead of $22/hour, why wouldn’t we? It also gives us room for raises, bonuses, etc. without taking too much of a financial hit. You always advocate that employees look out for their own interests. Why should that be so different for me as an employer? Maybe we tend to think of employers as big corporations but in our case we’re just hard-working individuals hoping to keep expenses in check.

The second reason I want that information first is that if I were to give my range, a candidate expecting more might well say, “Sure, that’s fine” while planning to take the job and keep looking for something else. Frankly, I want to know if they’re likely to be unhappy with that salary! Hearing that they expect more is valuable information for us to have and if I can get it, I will.

So there you have it from a brazenly unapologetic employer who plans to continue asking the question. (For what it’s worth, we are excellent employers whose staff have been with us for years and seem very happy).

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

The post I ask candidates their salary expectations, and I don’t feel bad about it appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/i-ask-candidates-their-salary-expectations-and-i-dont-feel-bad-about-it.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33231

yhlee

I'm now aware that Imgur images are broken for people with UK IP addresses; will repair those image links eventually by hosting own my own space but I have a bunch of work/school to deal with so it'll be slow.

metafilter_feed

Posted by phunniemee

https://www.metafilter.com/210584/Have-trouble-falling-asleep-Watch-Time-Team

Time Team is a long-running archaeology program[me] on British TV. US audiences may be pleasantly surprised like I was to find that most episodes are blessedly quite boring and undramatic. You can find classic episodes from the original series run here on youtube and episodes from the revival series (as well as series specials and favorites) on this channel here. Put it on to fall asleep to, it hits � so sweet.

https://www.metafilter.com/210584/Have-trouble-falling-asleep-Watch-Time-Team

brightknightie

Here are some recent fannish things I've happened to see and would like to share!

Spotlight: I'm continuing to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and (of course) loving it. I'm mid-game-ish now, facing vicious white Bokoblins but only my third red-maned Lynel, having maxed my stamina wheel but only half of my hearts, triggered all the Divine Beasts quests but freed only one, and am single-handedly juicing Hyrule's economy through the purchase of bomb arrows. ( Read more... )

Ficathons, fests & communities

Create & engage
- hlh_shortcuts, the annual Highlander exchange, has sign-ups through 10/11; due 12/15.
- yuletide_admin, the massive annual small fandoms exchange, has sign-ups through 10/24; due 12/17.
- smallfandombang, the small fandoms big-bang, has author sign-ups through 10/31 and author sign-ups through 11/01.
- ladiesbingo, a bingo challenge for relationships between women characters, runs from September through March.
- austenexchange is hosting a prompt-fest through 12/16 to celebrate Jane Austen's 250th birthday.
- janeuary-month is a daily-themes Jane Austen fanworks event throughout January '26.
- latetreatbonanza is designed to help motivate folks to finish late gifts, with a collection, deadline, and reveal. Works due 12/24.
- communal_creators, a community for mutual encouragement among creators, runs its current round through 10/15.
- pinchhits is a forum for pinch-hits in exchanges. For example, tardis_festivities and rarepairexchange are seeking pinch hitters.
- whenisitdue tracks many more events than I note here!
Enjoy & share
- fancake (themed fanfic recs); October theme: "uncommon settings"
- gensplosion (gen fanfic recs)
- het_reccers (m/f fanfic recs)
- fanart_recs (fanart recs)
- recthething (fanwork recs)

Sidelight: I've removed Doctor Strange from my comic shop pull-list and replaced it with the upcoming Nova series. Doctor Strange's current author focuses on Stephen as a detective, which is classic and welcome, but has relocated him away from his stomping grounds and supporting cast, which isn't. I am only tangentially aware of Nova, but Jed MacKay will write this series, and his writing single-handedly brought me back to reading monthly comics, so... Fingers crossed!

askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/my-boss-wont-let-me-tell-coworkers-that-im-pregnant.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33699

A reader writes:

I am in an unusual position at work and I wondered what your point of view on this would be.

For context on this: I work remotely and almost never see my coworkers in person. If I did, this situation would be a lot sillier than it already is.

I work for a close-knit, very interdependent team in a small company. I first told my manager I was pregnant once I finished my first trimester, so that I’d get permission to attend appointments. He asked me not to tell my coworkers until he and my grandparent manager had figured out a plan for my absence. Assuming it wouldn’t be long, I was happy to wait.

But it is now less than two months until my maternity leave begins. The date has been formally confirmed with HR but not added to any calendars at my manager’s request. I have asked my manager a few times over the past few months if I can tell my coworkers, and he has said each time that he needs to talk to my grandparent manager. This is a small company and communication is pretty close and constant, so it seems odd that it has taken months for them to have this conversation.

Now that there is so little time left, my theory is that they don’t plan to hire any cover for me, and so they will let my coworkers know only at the last minute so they can’t argue about it.

I know this doesn’t affect me much personally — apart from the weirdness of having a secret! — but I will be gone for a full year and this is coming ahead of our busiest time of year, so I think finding out so late will be frustrating and demoralizing for my coworkers.

All of this said, I know very few other parents, and so I have no idea if this is actually normal in a workplace. What is your take on this?

No, it’s not normal! This is extremely odd.

Frankly, your manager was out of line in making the initial request to you not to share the news. You’re pregnant! It’s up to you who you tell and when, and you shouldn’t be asked to hide that. I could maybe see if the news came right in the middle of a bunch of upheaval and your boss asked you to wait a week or two until they’d had a chance to bring some order to that chaos, but months have gone by! If this was ever reasonable, it has long ceased to be so.

Personally, I’d just start telling people! If your manager calls you out on it, say, “Oh, I’m seven months at this point — didn’t think it made sense to keep it a secret, or that I even could” or “Oh, it just came up naturally; it’s big news, after all” or “Oh, since I’m so close to my due date I didn’t think it was possible not to mention it at this point.”

In fact, I wish you hadn’t been asking him all along if you could tell your coworkers, because that shouldn’t be up to him anyway, and I wish you hadn’t said anything to indicate you were willing to give him that power.

But it’s your news to share, it’s reasonable to share it, and you have plausible enough deniability that you figured of course he didn’t expect you to hide a third-term pregnancy that you can just proceed as if it’s a given that of course he wouldn’t expect you to do something so unreasonable.

The post my boss won’t let me tell coworkers that I’m pregnant appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/my-boss-wont-let-me-tell-coworkers-that-im-pregnant.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33699

huxleyenne posting in

fic_promptly

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spikedluv posting in

smallfandomfest

It’s button time! We’re handing out 7 special recognition buttons for this round.

Special Recognition Buttons for submitting 3 or more fanfic/fanart go out to these 6 individuals:

kalira,

misura,

merricatb,

pairatime,

spikedluv and

tarlanx.

( Get your Special Recognition Buttons here )

Our “Above and Beyond” honoree this round submitted 17 fanfic/fanart! We mods salute

bluerosekatie for going above and beyond for the

smallfandomfest this round.

( Get your Above and Beyond Button here )

Congratulations to all of you, and thank you so much for all your support! We hope you all enjoy your buttons. We appreciate you all continuing to play in our sandbox.

And my thanks once again to

sara_merry99 for creating the buttons.

lucy_roman posting in

fan_flashworks

Title: Fraser's Garden
Author:

lucy_roman
Rating: Teen and up
Summary: Fraser has always loved gardens
Warnings: Death fic
Pairing: Fraser/RayK
Word count: 344

( Fraser's Garden )

metafilter_feed

Posted by Wordshore

https://www.metafilter.com/210583/How-do-you-get-to-sleep-Can-you-get-to-sleep-its-your-free-thread

Hannah describes how Ratatouille helped her overcome insomnia. Charlotte wears perfume to bed. Some people listen to pink noise. In Europe, couples have separate mattresses. And cheese may help (source might be biased). But do you have trouble getting to sleep? Or have techniques for achieving this? Or chat about things going on in your life, your neighbourhood, your world, your head, because this is your free thread.

https://www.metafilter.com/210583/How-do-you-get-to-sleep-Can-you-get-to-sleep-its-your-free-thread

metafilter_feed

Posted by kmt

https://www.metafilter.com/210582/Now-we-are-a-bit-closer

How GDP Hides Industrial Decline (Palladium Magazine): "Sometimes there are discrepancies between your real-world observations and the data. But this goes far beyond just being a discrepancy: the data is saying the complete opposite of what we see with our own eyes, hear from our acquaintances in the job market, and deduce logically from our knowledge of demographics, technology, industry, and trade. How is this possible? The answer is actually very simple: the data is completely wrong. But you can only figure this out if you go line-by-line into the hundreds of pages of government GDP calculation methodology documentation. Which is exactly what I did."

Some more choice quotes:

Actual steel rolling out of the mills is down, the inflation-adjusted value of the steel and steel products rolling out of the mills is flat, inputs as a percentage of output is the same as ever—yet value-added is up 125%! I challenge anyone who believes in these statistics to tell me what in the real world happened so that raw tonnage of steel was down, real gross output of steel was flat, usage of inputs was up, but "real value-added" was also up, and up hugely. Nobody can explain these numbers. The BEA cannot—I have asked them! If the raw data still exists, nobody has access to it because it was confidential.

and:

The point is not that any of these methods is right or wrong. The point is that if you have a half-dozen plausible ways of adjusting for quality, none of which from first principles is more objective than another, and you rule out one method for giving ludicrously low results, and one method for ludicrously high results, and just choose a middle route that feels reasonable, then the result of this adjustment is not an objective measure of output. All you have done is launder vibes into something that has the appearance of an objective number.

The title of this post refers to a post I've made in 2018, asking How economists calculate manufacturing output.

https://www.metafilter.com/210582/Now-we-are-a-bit-closer

yuletidemods posting in

yuletide_admin

We are 214.5 hours into tag approving! We began with 6078 individual fandom nominations to sort (where if two people submitted the same fandom, that would count twice towards the total). We have 28 fandom nominations still to sort. (AO3-savvy users will note that that means we're no longer seeing a random display - instead we can view all remaining unapproved fandoms.)

Please continue to review the questions below to help us sort them quickly and correctly! The sooner we sort out these issues, the sooner we can release the tag set.

Please link your nominations page if telling us what to do about your nomination - thank you! Please either sign in to comment, or include a name with your anonymous comments, including replies to others' comments. Unsigned comments will stay screened. (You can find your own nominations at this link; keep in mind this gives you an 'Edit' screen where you can't actually submit any edits, but if you delete /edit, that's the page we're looking for.)

If we've processed any of your nominations and something doesn't look right, please comment (with your nominations page) to tell us about the problem and how you think it should be corrected. Questions are welcome.

The Baileys (Chuck Schumer's RPF) - We plan to approve this as something other than RPF, with Chuck Schumer as the creator of fictional material, since the characters involved aren’t real people. Additionally, we’re wondering about Eileen Bailey vs Eileen O’Reilly and Joe Bailey vs Joe O’Reilly. Nominator, do you see these as separate people, or should they be piped characters? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Dark Star Trilogy - Marlon James - Nominator, we couldn’t find a character named Panther. Did you mean Leopard? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Debí Tirar Más Fotos - Bad Bunny (Album) - Nominator, did you intend the visual album or the short film? The nomination of Señor suggests the latter, but Bad Bunny doesn’t appear as a character. We can combine them as (Album-related Videos) if you mean both. Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Golden Hour pt 2 - ATEEZ (Album) and Golden Hour pt 3 : In Your Fantasy - ATEEZ (Album) - Both of these are nominated and so are the music videos for Ice On Your Teeth, Lemon Drop, and In Your Fantasy, which are songs on these albums. We're willing to approve music videos that can stand alone with clear and coherent fictional elements to build on, but it's not clear how the albums are distinct from ineligible lore or how they stand on their own, especially if the music videos also stand on their own. We're willing to hear arguments against, but otherwise will approve the music videos only. Nominators, if making a case, please link your nominations page when you reply.

Marvel 1602 (Comics) - Nominator, from your character choices it's not clear you were interested in the original Marvel 1602 - could we approve as Marvel 1602: Fantastick Four (Comics), or have we misunderstood? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

The Racing Track (GrabFood Webseries) - Nominator, it looks like you’ve selected the actor names instead of character names for this fandom. Can we confirm you’re interested in RPF? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

She-Hulk (Marvel Comics) - Nominator, are you interested in multiple runs at once, or primarily in the 2023-2024 Sensational She-Hulk run? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

自転車屋さんの高橋くん | Takahashi from the Bike Shop - Nominator, did you want the manga or the 2022 drama adaptation? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Twin Peaks (TV 1990) - Nominator of Chantal Hutchens and Gary Hutchens, these characters are only in the 2017 sequel. We realize that tag is a synonym of the 1990 tag; still, would you prefer to split these out into a separate series? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

The Years of Apocalypse - A Time Loop Progression Fantasy - Uranium Phoenix - We could use some help identifying some of these characters. We can only find “Ceiba Yan” in the context of the Ceiba Yan Tree, and we can’t find Xecatl at all. Nominator, can you help us out? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Earlier queries…

Batman: Arkham Shadow (Video Game) - we received evidence for this but would like more information, please. Could the nominator, or anyone else who knows this family of games, please help us understand how it is distinct? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Ghost in the Shell (Anime & Manga) - this is nominated with Kusanagi Motoko, Batou, Kogusa, and Saito; meanwhile, we also have a nomination for Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Anime) with Batou, Hideo Kuze, Motoko Kusanagi, and Togusa. We would prefer to combine these under Stand Alone Complex but are open to hearing otherwise. Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Hear Me Cry (1984) (CBS Schoolbreak Special) Craig and David’s parents are distinct characters and so we are not willing to approve each set of parents as a single unit. Nominator, would you like to pick two of the four parents? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

History Boys - All Media Types - Nominator, we won’t approve this nomination as All Media Types. Would you prefer the movie or the play? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Riddick (2013) - Could we please get some information about how this stands alone from the rest of the Chronicles of Riddick saga? If you nominated this, please link your nominations page when you reply.

Trash Taste (Podcast) - This podcast is nominated without characters, but it's difficult to see what you're looking for aside from RPF of the hosts, as this doesn't seem to contain a fictional narrative. Nominator, please clarify what you were hoping for? Please link your nominations page when you reply.

Tron - All Media Types - We won't approve this nomination as All Media Types. Nominator, please pick a canon. Please link your nominations page when you reply.

West Coast Avengers (Marvel Comics) - Nominator, did you mean the 2018-19 reboot series? Your character nominations seem to relate to that run, so we'd like to approve as West Coast Avengers (Comics 2018-19), assuming that matches your intention. Please link your nominations page when you reply.

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yhlee

This fiber colorway is from a monthly subscription (Feral Scene in Texas, so semi-local to me) - usually wool-based blends to push me out of my comfort zone. (I find wool to be the second-most difficult fiber to spin. First is cotton, which is more "normal" for a beginning spinner.)

I think of this as Pumpkin Spice yarn! It'll be going to

ursula.

The current emotional support spinning WIP is cotton, widely regarded as hard mode for treadle wheel spinning. It only took six months of dedicated practice to skill up...

Shout-out to Mohairandmore [Etsy], which sells superlatively prepared fiber; the combed top for ramie and cotton are exquisite. They're also in Texas, so also semi-local to me, although I think most of their non-mohair fiber (they raise angora goats) is from other suppliers. I've got to budget for some of their merino blends at some point because I bet they're amazing to spin.

I wanted to learn to spin cotton because

(a) It's less wildly expensive than mulberry, eri, muga silk (my faves). You can get 4 oz. cotton fiber for ~$6 USD (not including shipping or tax). Silk fiber (unless it's "sari silk" loom waste) usually costs three times as much if not more.

(b) I'm in the US South. This is about as local as you get for fiber production! There's a little silk fiber production in the USA but not a lot of it, and again, whatever the source of the fiber, it's an inherently spendier fiber.

I went all-in on spinning because

(a) It's weirdly difficult to doomscroll on the internet while spinning. :p It's much better for my mental health; that alone would make it worthwhile.

(b) For my own use, I'm personally most interested in thread for needle lace, embroidery, cross stitch, hand-sewing, weaving. But I don't do any of those things very fast so I don't need very much for myself, and I'm narrowly interested in cotton or ramie or silk. I don't knit or crochet, but I have friends who do, and who can make use of yarns spun from Those Other Fibers! (I have functionally zero use for wool ever.) So anything I spin for my own learning/pleasure can go to a good home.

(c) I have wrecked ankle tendons (medical), and treadling on a spinning wheel is surprisingly good sneak physical therapy.

(d) I have neuropathy in my hands and feet, prognosis unknown. I don't want to wait five or ten years to pursue physical crafts further. My favorite thing is working with my hands (obviously, this isn't especially visible online). I regret I was never able to take a shop class because my high school didn't offer one. I don't know that I'm going to have sufficient use of my hands/feet in five to ten years (assuming the world hasn't imploded, a big assumption). So I might as well get some enjoyment out of hand/physical crafts now.

for_sorrow posting in

yuletide

(Thank you everyone who has made these posts in my absence. May you always find something bright and shiny!)

Not every story is pleasant. Not every story has a happy ending, and not all happy endings come without a dark and painful journey. And sometimes, those are the kinds of stories that we really, really want to read.

If you're one of the many people interested in either writing or receiving darkfic or horror, then Crueltide is here ~~to devour your soul~~ for you!

The short version
Read the comments to find people to treat with darkfic.
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Posted by chavenet

https://www.metafilter.com/210581/I-have-heard-devils-can-be-raised-with-Dabolls-arithmetic

In this article [PDF] we explore mathematical allusions in Herman Melville's novel Moby-Dick. We argue that both the quantity and sophistication of these allusions are evidence for Melville's high level of mathematical knowledge and ability. We discuss some of the most compelling mathematical imagery, as well as giving background on the several mathematicians and mathematics books mentioned in the novel. We also include some biographical details supporting the assertion that Melville had an unusually good mathematical education. [Journal of Humanistic Mathematics]

https://www.metafilter.com/210581/I-have-heard-devils-can-be-raised-with-Dabolls-arithmetic

metafilter_feed

Posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries

https://www.metafilter.com/210580/We-need-more-housing-but-nature-belongs-in-cities-too

We need more housing, but nature belongs in cities too. Kylie Soanes says urban development should not come at the expense of nature and there's no reason why we should not spot a fairy wren on the way to the bus stop. (Australia)

https://www.metafilter.com/210580/We-need-more-housing-but-nature-belongs-in-cities-too

askamanager_feed

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/our-office-is-filthy-i-dont-want-my-team-to-offer-solutions-to-another-department-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33470

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I don’t want my team to offer solutions to a department that’s been messing up

I work in compliance. Right now I’m in a situation where an aspect of our programs isn’t being followed because the area is being under-resourced. This was noticed by an outside authority. My team communicates the requirements and sets up the tools to be used to follow them, but it’s not my responsibility and it’s outside my chain of command to force the responsible department to comply. I also try not to bring my frustrations with the responsible department to my team so they can continue to work on good terms with this department.

We’ll have a meeting to go over how to bring ourselves into compliance for this outside authority and I know my team is going to jump in with all the backstops we can use to maintain compliance. I don’t want them to do this, I want the other department to take responsibility and design their own program. If I weren’t wearing my manager hat, I would tell my team, “Hey, don’t try to rescue these guys in this meeting, they haven’t bothered to care in a year, they can either belay off our rope or tie it into a noose.” How do I convey that without my team losing respect for the other department?

Well, first, is that the right goal? Maybe the other department should come up with solutions themselves, just on principle, but as far the company is concerned, isn’t the ultimate goal that the compliance issues get fixed, even if that means that your team has to do the work of telling them how? Another way of looking at it: if your own boss knew that you held your team back from presenting solutions because the other team should be coming up with solutions themselves, would she feel like your focus was on the right thing? (It’s also possible your team is simply better equipped to devise solutions, because they’re more familiar with what is and isn’t compliant!)

But if you’re sure your stance is reasonable and defensible — and, crucially, one that would be supported all the way up your chain of command — then you just need to say to your team, “I know we probably have a lot of ideas about how they can fix it, but please hold back in the meeting — it’s important that they be the ones to come up with a program to fix this because ____.” (Maybe you can legitimately fill in the blank with “they know what will make the most sense for the context and constraints” or similar. But if the only thing you can fill in the blank with is “because they haven’t cared for a year,” that’s a sign that you’re letting your frustration dictate how you deal with them, rather than what’s in your company’s best interests.)

2. Our office is dirty, so I end up cleaning it

I have an MBA but work part-time in a very small office where it is just me and the owner. I am alone 90+% of the time. The office is old and cluttered, which surprisingly doesn’t bother me. However, there is no professional cleaning done, ever.

The work overall is a good situation for me, but I do not like a dirty workplace. I reluctantly dust and vacuum periodically, but it grates on me. The owner has never said anything to me like he expects it, nor does he comment when I do clean, which is fine. Yet it mentally galls me a bit that we would be working in filth (dust) if I, a woman, didn’t take care of things. I tell myself that I am very grateful for this job and have quite a bit of free time so I shouldn’t mind cleaning, but on the other hand … well, you know. Please set my thoughts straight.

Why not ask him to hire a cleaner? For a small office it probably could just be weekly. You could say, “I’ve occasionally vacuumed and dusted when it’s become too much, but that’s not something I’d like to continue doing. Could we bring in a cleaner to keep the space under control?” If it’s not wildly of sync with your role, you could offer to do the legwork to locate one, which might make it more likely to happen.

If he’s not willing to do that but he’s not asking you to clean either, then you have to decide whether you’re more irked to work in filth or to periodically clean. That’s not ideal, but it’s also sometimes the sort of thing that happens in two-person businesses.

3. Employee is injured but won’t stop working

I hope you can help me not be an ogre.

I manage a small crew that is one piece of a larger organization, something along the lines of a service shop as we are customer-facing at times. One of the employees is over 70 but is still very high energy, sharp, and always wants to do everything. His hobbies include fairly strenuous outdoor activities, and a while ago something happened over a weekend and he was slightly injured. He doesn’t ever share that sort of thing, but when other people commented on his seeming sore, he was clear that it wasn’t a big deal and brushed it off. But as time has gone on, it’s clear that something pretty serious is going on because his mobility is getting very poor, to the point that clients have noticed and mentioned it. He continues to essentially ignore the problems and is continuing to do the job. He is slower, but he is totally fulfilling the requirements of his position.

I know I cannot say anything to him about his health, but my concern is that in attempting (and succeeding) to do his job he may fall and injure himself. I really don’t want that for him but it’s absolutely not my place to intervene. I am concerned, though, about the HR aspect. I’m worried about him stumbling and not be able to catch himself, or moving one of the heavy objects we handle and the injured part of his body gives way, or slipping coming off the ladders we use — these are scenarios that worry me both for his well-being and as potential HR headaches. It is also concerning to me that several clients have commented on how poorly he is moving. I don’t want them to see us as a cruel employer when it’s exactly the opposite: he is not willing to have this looked into or accept help from anyone at all. He gets testy when offered help and insists he’s fine and doesn’t need it. And again, he is doing the job, it’s now just kind of heart-rending to watch. Do I have any options here, other than to wait for the excrement to truly hit the fan?

This might be a situation where it would make sense to require a fitness for duty exam. That’s not something an employer should do lightly, but when an employer “has a reasonable belief, based on objective evidence, that: (1) an employee’s ability to perform essential job functions will be impaired by a medical condition; or (2) an employee will pose a direct threat due to a medical condition,” they can require a medical exam. Talk to your HR rep, but it sounds like that might be a reasonable call to make, out of concern for both him and the business.

4. How do I get my client to accept that I’m not working for him anymore?

I have to close my business after a year of being open. It’s been a heart-breaking time as not only have I had to close my dream but I lost my freelance marketing client that was paying my bills until I can get something better. Well, with a catch. My marketing client wants me to stay on as a retainer for peanuts pay that we can “negotiate.” The amount doesn’t cover any major bills at all.

I still have all the passwords to everything; I tried handing them back over to him, and he wasn’t motivated to take control of them. He’s been asking me to do work still, and it’s frustrating because before I had a set date to pick up a check, and now it’s all up in the air on what he’s going to pay me and when.

Do you have any advice for how to tactfully decline staying on a retainer? I don’t want to burn a bridge. The work is pretty simple, so I can understand why he wants to pay me less. However, when there are problems, it takes a ton of time and energy, which is why I don’t want to do the work for less. I feel like the answer is to just communicate better, but I’m sad and stressed about money, closing the business, and finding a new job that works with my school schedule and pays the bills.

If you definitely don’t want to keep working for him, you just need to say that! “I’m sorry, but I’m closing down my business and won’t be able to continue doing the work at all. Can I pick up the final check on Friday?”

If you’d be willing to continue working for him if he offered more pay, you can say that instead: “I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t make sense for me to do the work at that rate. I can continue on at $X, but if that won’t work for you, I of course understand. Can I plan to pick up the outstanding check on Friday?”

It’s not burning a bridge to decide that a particular job or client no longer makes sense for you. It does risk burning bridges if you’re not straightforward about that and instead drag things out! So just tell him clearly what your decision is.

5. How do you job hunt before becoming disgruntled?

Do you have any advice for how to job hunt before you become frustrated or disgruntled with your current job?

I feel like I always initiate a job search after I’ve reached a breaking point with my role, and then am stuck in a role that I have soured on while the process to get a new job takes several months. Do you have any thoughts or advice on this?

I think that’s pretty normal, actually. It makes sense that you start to job hunt once you’re frustrated and not before. And yes, that means you’re stuck in a role you’re fed up with while you’re looking for something else, but the alternative would be leaving jobs while you’re still happy with them, just in case you later won’t be.

Of course, there are degrees of frustration. If you’re always waiting to job search until you’re so frustrated that you can’t stand coming to work every day and fantasize about biting your coworkers or punching your colleague in the parking lot, then that’s a sign to start paying attention to your frustrations earlier on, before they’ve gotten to that point, and also to be proactive about seeing if there are things you can to do resolve them once they start creeping in.

The post our office is filthy, I don’t want my team to offer solutions to another department, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/our-office-is-filthy-i-dont-want-my-team-to-offer-solutions-to-another-department-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33470

siria

Like Brothers We Meet
The Pitt/ER | ~17,500 words | Jack/Robby, John Carter | Thanks to

sheafrotherdon for audiencing/betaing.

(Also on AO3)

( After a chance encounter, Robby finds out that he's got a half-brother he never knew about—an emergency physician from Chicago called John Carter. )