Arduinna

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/hr-says-i-cant-use-sick-leave-for-a-family-emergency-coworker-wont-do-his-work-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33275

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency

Recently, “life happened” and I took a day off from work because I needed to take care of some things and I wasn’t feeling mentally well. I emailed work in the morning and said that a family emergency came up so I needed to take a sick day. That seemed like the most honest description of what was happening at the time without giving too much detail.

When I returned to work the next day, I submitted for sick leave. HR emailed me asking for details, saying that sick leave is provided for employees’ illness or injury, and that for other situations we need to use PTO. In hindsight, now I know that I should have just said I was feeling under the weather — but in this situation, how would you recommend replying to HR for the best chance of being approved for sick leave?

Yeah, the problem is that once you said it was for a family emergency, you conveyed that it wasn’t actually in the “sick leave” category. Now that you’ve said it, I don’t think you can really backtrack. Just know in situations like that going forward, you should say you’re not feeling well.

(There are some employers that will take a more expansive view of sick leave, but HR is telling you pretty clearly that yours isn’t one of them.)

Related:
what do I say when I’m calling in sick for a mental health day?

2. My coworker won’t do his work and we get stuck with it

I work in a front-facing position with one other person on shift with me. Most of my coworkers are great but “Bill” drives me crazy. He doesn’t split the work 50/50 like we’re supposed to and the work that he does do is slipshod to the point where customers and employees in other roles complain about him. I end up shouldering a lot more work on days he works. We have talked to him about where he needs to improve but he just brushes us off. Management is aware but for some reason has not intervened.

My problem is when I work with Bill, I find it really hard to stay calm when non-Bill-related problems happen. I catch myself getting aggravated with other employees and customers because I’m already in a crummy mood. Obviously I don’t lash out but I get impatient and crabby in ways that aren’t fair to these people. I know it’s Bill-related because when I’m scheduled with other employees I take things in stride easily.

We don’t have enough staff for me to be scheduled away from Bill permanently and even if we did, no one would want to be the permanent Bill babysitter. So how can I keep an even keel when working with a frustrating coworker?

What would happen if you stopped covering for Bill? Stop doing his share of the work; when customers complain about him, let them know you’ll share their complaint with your manager; and when employees in other departments complain about him, tell them they should talk to Bill’s boss. Right now your management doesn’t need to act because you and your coworkers are shouldering all the burden of mitigating Bill’s problems. The more you decline to cover for him, the more it will become their problem rather than yours.

That’s easier said than done, but it’s likely to be the most effective option if repeated conversations with your boss haven’t worked.

To your question about staying calm when Bill-related problems happen: if every time there’s a Bill problem, it gets dumped on management, hopefully it’ll be less aggravating — and you can remind yourself that the more that pile grows, the more likely they will be to eventually do something about it.

3. Mandatory ridiculous training videos from IT

I’m wondering if you think it’s worth pushing back on something our IT department has recently started requiring of us. We have to watch a 10-minute video every two weeks. It’s an ongoing story that’s a dramatization of a business getting inflitrated by a fake IT guy and becoming the target of corporate espionage. Doesn’t sound too bad, but here’s the thing: we’re a K-12 private school, not a corporate environment. I’m totally baffled by what they want us to learn from these videos and they feel like a complete waste of time. They’re also full of very technical jargon that most of us don’t understand.

So far we’ve had to watch two of the videos and at the end we can rate them and leave a review, but I don’t know if that review gets read by our IT department or just goes to the company that makes the videos. I’ve left polite but honest reviews both times saying I’m not clear on what I’m supposed to be learning from the videos.

If it were any other department at our school, I’d feel fine pushing back, but the faculty has had a contentious relationship with the head of IT that has only recently become more amicable. He’s done a lot of other irritating things in the past, like getting our student devices to us weeks late, which played havoc with our lesson plans; auto-blocking every website with the word “game” in it without warning, which blocked a lot of educational sites some of us use on a daily basis; refusing to send techs to us when we need help, instead insisting children as young as five carry their devices to the IT office across the campus; requiring very complicated unique passwords for young children who can’t even type yet, so they forget their passwords or type them in wrong all the time and get locked out, etc.

I’ve also heard rumors he’s done some more egregious things, like having a list of teachers he finds annoying so he puts their tickets last in order of priority, and making some misogynist comments about his female staff members. But none of this has been enough to fire him, so the general sense is that for some reason or another, the head of school or the school board won’t fire him. Not that I think these videos would be cause for firing, but just to give a picture of the circumstances we’re dealing with here as it factors into deciding whether to push back or not.

I’m pretty sure it’s futile to speak up about this, but every time a new email comes barking at us to watch the video, I get pissed off all over again. So if I say something, maybe I’ll stop being pissed off because at least I tried, but I might risk riling up more tension between faculty and IT again. What do you think?

Eh, I’d leave it alone. Keep sending your polite feedback since they’re asking for it, but it sounds like this is the least of the problems with this guy! If you want to complain about something, the issues in your third paragraph are much more worth escalating (so are the issues in your fourth paragraph, but it sounds like you’ve only heard rumors about those).

For what it’s worth, I don’t think the issue with the videos is so much that you’re a school, but rather than people don’t understand the language in them and it’s not clear what the outcomes are supposed to be. Those would both be worth bringing up under normal circumstances — especially the unclear language — but it’s not worth the energy and capital in the situation you described.

4. Should you accrue PTO during paid parental leave?

My husband gets 10 weeks of paid paternity leave, and we just found out that he will not be accruing PTO during that time. On one level, that seems fair, he isn’t actually working, but on another level, I’ve always viewed parental leave as something that occurs on top of your normal compensation. What do you think?

It’s up the employer, but it’s pretty typical to do it that way. It’s similar to how at many companies you don’t accrue PTO if you’re on unpaid leave. This happens to be paid leave, but it’s not coming out of his PTO bank — he’s using a whole separate bank of leave that’s a specific paid paternity benefit. If he were using his own PTO for the time, then sure, but I don’t think it’s outrageous that he won’t accrue PTO while getting 10 weeks of completely separate paid parental leave.

A different way to look at it: say he normally gets, I don’t know, 20 PTO days a year, so he accrues 0.38 PTO days per week. That means that in a normal 10-week period, he’d accrue 3.8 PTO days — versus the 50 paid days he’s getting during parent leave. He’s still coming out way ahead.

5. I was rejected for an internal job and now it’s been reposted

I applied for a government job as an internal candidate. After a first round interview, I was told they had to repost the position due to a lack of candidates. A few months ago by, the job is reposted, and I am invited to a second round interview. I was an extremely strong candidate for this position, and was told twice by the hiring manager I was a top candidate. To my surprise, I did not receive an offer. The hiring manager told me I was a strong candidate and to look out for other jobs she would be posting soon.

Today, three weeks later, I see this job has been reposted! There is one additional bullet point to the job description that’s inconsequential.

I’m worried about what factors went into my rejection now that I see the job has been reposted. Is it worth following up with the hiring manager, noting the new job posting and requesting any constructive feedback on why I wasn’t chosen?

I am a bit concerned my rejection could have something to do with the fact that I have an accommodation to work from home full-time. This was not discussed in the interview, but could be surmised based on my calendar.

Yes, you should follow up with the hiring manager. You were a strong candidate but for some reason they’ve reposted the position and not hired anyone? It’s possible there’s a reason that would make sense if you knew it — like you were strong in X and Y ways but she’s realized she also needs someone strong in Z (although government hiring is so regimented that if that were the case, it should have been in the job description, and especially in the revised one).

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if your WFH accommodation is the real reason. If that’s the case, she might not tell you. But it’s reasonable to ask for feedback.

The post HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency, coworker won’t do his work, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/hr-says-i-cant-use-sick-leave-for-a-family-emergency-coworker-wont-do-his-work-and-more.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33275

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/it-takes-me-longer-to-do-my-work-why-cant-i-opt-out-of-overtime-pay.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33321

A reader writes:

I have worked in the evolving field of IT all of my four-decade career. Most of my jobs have been exempt from overtime, while my last few tech support / help desk positions have been non-exempt. I’ve always been a slower (and I think, more thorough) worker who needs more time to get my work done and who has no problem working late, even most evenings, to get the job done.

This has been fine in my exempt positions, as I’ve had freedom to work as many hours as I want / need, and supervisors have mostly been quite pleased with my work. In my first couple of non-exempt roles, I would still work longer hours but leave the hours beyond 40 off of my time sheets, unless management had requested something special — and this worked out well, too.

However, in my last non-exempt role, it came to my supervisor’s attention that I was working more than 40 hours a week, and he told me that this must stop. I countered that I don’t mind doing it, and since I leave the extra hours off my time sheet, it doesn’t cost the company anything. But he said I could not do that any longer, as it was a misrepresentation, and that overtime pay would not be approved.

Consequently, I started completing fewer tasks each day and was placed on a performance improvement plan where the main focus was to improve my time management and multi-tasking ability. I was able to make some improvement, but it was deemed insufficient and I was terminated for not meeting the job requirements.

I understand that the letter of the law means that all hours over 40 in one week must be paid at time and a half for non-exempt positions, but many employers will not approve it or might approve for a couple of extra hours but not more, and then look the other way for employees who need more time to complete their work and so leave the rest off their time sheets. Honestly, I’d rather work the extra hours without additional pay, which I did all the time when I was in exempt positions, than be terminated for not meeting job requirements.

So in some cases such as this, I believe the overtime labor laws can be unfair, and that workers should have the right to opt out. What do you think of this?

The problem is that if you give workers the right to opt out from overtime pay requirements, you’ll immediately have situations where they’re pressured to do that by their employers.

In your case, it sounds as if you’d genuinely choose to opt out via your own free will, but many, many people would not and would still end up pressured by their employers to do it anyway. And the more in need of paying work someone is, the more vulnerable they’re likely to be to that pressure.

That’s why the law doesn’t make it optional. And that’s why any responsible employer needs to do what your last one did and tell you that you can’t work unauthorized overtime even if you don’t mind it. They’re still liable for paying you for those hours, even if you try to explicitly excuse them from it. Legally, they’re required to pay you the overtime whether you want it or not … and they could end up paying fines and penalties down the road if they don’t.

In your situation, it sounds like you are really well-suited for exempt positions where you can work additional hours without it triggering mandatory overtime pay, and those are the positions you should look for.

The post it takes me longer to do my work — why can’t I opt out of overtime pay? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/it-takes-me-longer-to-do-my-work-why-cant-i-opt-out-of-overtime-pay.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33321

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/should-i-tell-an-employee-she-should-take-less-time-off-if-she-wants-better-projects.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33081

A reader writes:

I work in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance.

Our company has an unlimited PTO policy, with most people on the team taking about 15-20 days, usually no more than five straight days at a time. (So one week off per quarter, just about.)

I have a team member who has asked for feedback. She wants to grow and be assigned more high-profile, visible projects. The quality of her work is average to slightly above average, so there’s room for growth there. On top of this, the main thing I believe is preventing her from achieving these goals is that people perceive her to be on vacation all the time. I’d say she’ll end up taking around 30 days (six weeks off) this year, and unlike most members of the team, more than a full office week at a time. Management never denies her the days off, and since she’s not on more high-profile projects, the coverage has not been a problem.

Like I said, our industry culture is extreme and we push ourselves to burnout. It’s really not sustainable at the end of the day, so it’s honestly refreshing to see her try to have a personal life. Our office encourages us to have time off (within reason), and because we technically have unlimited PTO, she’s not breaking policy. But her personal life is not aligning with what she wants to achieve professionally. Is it poor advice for me to suggest she should take less vacation to prove she’s capable of handling more visible projects?

Well … this isn’t quite “you can take the time off if you want it, but we’re going to hold it against you,” but it’s close. If she’s taking too much time off within the context of your culture and industry expectations, she deserves to know that. If she keeps asking for time off and it keeps getting approved, it’s not unreasonable that she thinks it’s fine. (And yes, people should look around and observe norms and calibrate accordingly, particularly when it’s a field-wide expectation, but management has a role to play there too.)

Now, maybe the amount of time off she’s taking is fine for her current role, and it’s only a problem if she’s looking to take on different projects. That’s more fair! In that case, you should very clearly spell out how this works in your company. For example: “I want to be up-front that to be assigned to projects like X and Y, you’d likely need to take less time off than you do currently. Right now my sense is that there’s a perception that you’re gone a lot, which would be an obstacle to putting you on more high-profile work. So realistically, you’d need to decide if you’re willing to use less vacation in order to be considered for those projects, or whether that’s not a trade-off that’s worth it to you.”

Think of it as sharing the playbook that everyone else is using, so she can make the right decisions for herself.

For what it’s worth: if the 15-20 days a year that most people take includes sick leave as well as vacation, that’s really low and I’d urge your company to reconsider the way they frame their policy, because that is not what new hires are going to envision when they hear “unlimited time off,” even in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance.

The post should I tell an employee she should take less time off if she wants better projects? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/should-i-tell-an-employee-she-should-take-less-time-off-if-she-wants-better-projects.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=33081