Toilet Cam Update
Dec. 5th, 2025 03:20 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
metafilter_feedWhen they said "end-to-end", they didn't mean that end. The latest update on the Dekoda Fecal Surveillance System.
Previously.
Previously.
metafilter_feed
Network State
Dec. 5th, 2025 03:10 ammetafilter_feedWhy Did Trump Pardon the Former Honduran President? Follow the Tech Bros. is a Mother Jones essay by Kiera Butler on Trump's recent pardon of Honduran ex-President Juan Orlando Hernández, who had been serving 45 years in prison for using Honduras' police and army to ship 500 tons of cocaine into the United States. Butler links the pardon to Próspera, a special economic zone founded in Honduras by a cadre of American tech titans including Peter Thiel and Marc Andreessen. According to some, Prospera is a "freedom city" and important part of the Network State movement; while for others, like Honduras' leftwing President Xiomara Castro and Supreme Court (who found it unconstitutional), it is "merely a shelter for foreign actors to undermine Honduran sovereignty and to skirt labor and environmental regulations they may face elsewhere."
But what is the Network State movement? Here's an except from Kiera Butler's previous report, Tech Moguls Want to Build a Crypto Paradise on a Native American Reservation (And hope to gobble up some land near you.): In a 2021 essay on his website, Srinivasan laid out his vision for people seeking to build a new utopia or, as he put it, "a fresh start." Sure, there were conventional ways to do this—forming a new country through revolution or war. But that would be, well, really hard, not to mention unpredictable. A cruise ship or somewhere in space were appealing options, but both presented logistical challenges. Far simpler and more practical was "tech Zionism," creating an online nation, complete with its own culture, economy, tax structure, and, of course, startup-friendly laws. Eventually, Srinivasan mused, such a community could acquire actual physical property where people would gather and live under the laws dreamed up by the founders—a "reverse diaspora," he called it—but that land didn't even need to be contiguous. "A community that forms first on the internet, builds a culture online," he said, "and only then comes together in person to build dwellings and structures." Acknowledging that the idea might sound a little goofy—like live-action Minecraft—he emphasized that it was also a serious proposition. "Once we remember that Facebook has 3B users, Twitter has 300M, and many individual influencers"—himself included—"have more than 1M followers," he wrote, "it starts to be not too crazy to imagine we can build a 1-10M person social network with a genuine sense of national consciousness, an integrated cryptocurrency, and a plan to crowdfund many pieces of territory around the world." A network state would, like a kind of Pac-Man, gobble up little pieces of actual land, eventually amassing so much economic power that other nations would be forced to recognize it. Once that happens, laws in more conventional nations could become almost irrelevant. Why on earth would, say, a pharmaceutical company with a new drug choose to spend billions of dollars and decades on mandated testing when it could go to a deregulated network state and take it to market in record time? As Srinivasan argued in a Zoom talk at last year's conference, "Just like it was easier to start bitcoin and then to reform the Fed," he said, "it is literally easier to start a new country than to reform the FDA."
But what is the Network State movement? Here's an except from Kiera Butler's previous report, Tech Moguls Want to Build a Crypto Paradise on a Native American Reservation (And hope to gobble up some land near you.): In a 2021 essay on his website, Srinivasan laid out his vision for people seeking to build a new utopia or, as he put it, "a fresh start." Sure, there were conventional ways to do this—forming a new country through revolution or war. But that would be, well, really hard, not to mention unpredictable. A cruise ship or somewhere in space were appealing options, but both presented logistical challenges. Far simpler and more practical was "tech Zionism," creating an online nation, complete with its own culture, economy, tax structure, and, of course, startup-friendly laws. Eventually, Srinivasan mused, such a community could acquire actual physical property where people would gather and live under the laws dreamed up by the founders—a "reverse diaspora," he called it—but that land didn't even need to be contiguous. "A community that forms first on the internet, builds a culture online," he said, "and only then comes together in person to build dwellings and structures." Acknowledging that the idea might sound a little goofy—like live-action Minecraft—he emphasized that it was also a serious proposition. "Once we remember that Facebook has 3B users, Twitter has 300M, and many individual influencers"—himself included—"have more than 1M followers," he wrote, "it starts to be not too crazy to imagine we can build a 1-10M person social network with a genuine sense of national consciousness, an integrated cryptocurrency, and a plan to crowdfund many pieces of territory around the world." A network state would, like a kind of Pac-Man, gobble up little pieces of actual land, eventually amassing so much economic power that other nations would be forced to recognize it. Once that happens, laws in more conventional nations could become almost irrelevant. Why on earth would, say, a pharmaceutical company with a new drug choose to spend billions of dollars and decades on mandated testing when it could go to a deregulated network state and take it to market in record time? As Srinivasan argued in a Zoom talk at last year's conference, "Just like it was easier to start bitcoin and then to reform the Fed," he said, "it is literally easier to start a new country than to reform the FDA."
Public Domain Advent Calendar
Dec. 5th, 2025 01:55 ammetafilter_feedTake a peek each day between now and December 29 to see what works enter the public domain in 2026 The Public Domain Review has combed through the history books to find some gems in the crop of works entering the public domain as of January 1, 2026. Sonny Bono may have won the round but Steamboat Willie is out of the bag now. Who's next?
all we're looking for is love and a little light
Dec. 4th, 2025 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynEvery time I think of posting, I'm so overwhelmed by how shitty my life is right now and how nearly suicidal I feel that I can't do it. I'm just too depressing. It just seems like it's never-ending and I'm literally throwing money in the toilet and I feel so alone and hopeless. It's funny, I've never cried over the cancer diagnosis (diagnoses, I guess, since I'm being stalked by it), but I'm literally sitting here sobbing in front of my computer because of all the things. It's just. All the things.
A short list (it looks long, but it's the short list): I bought a new used laptop from Back Market when my old 2012 workhorse started having these weird spasms and would shut down. The new one, a 2020, I picked specifically because it had an intel processor instead of the new M1 chips, because I had a couple older programs that are crucial to my work that I wasn't sure would run on an M1. It went great until last month, when it wouldn't boot at all. I sent it back to the refurbisher and they said they couldn't repair it (a lie, I'm positive) so would send a replacement. Unforch, it wasn't what I ordered (it had an M1), so I had to mail it back via UPS last week (before turkey day).
Even more unfortunate, apparently UPS "never picked it up" from the mailing center, it's not in the system, so they won't give me a refund. Back Market forced me to do the refund option instead of sending me a replacement again since that's their policy. So assuming I would have a refund coming, I bought an entirely new 2020 just like the first one.
But now I guess I'm completely screwed out of over $700. Which I really don't have. Because I cannot prove a negative, and the mailing center dropoff of course doesn't give receipts for prelabeled packages. Which, even if I'd scheduled UPS to come to my house and pick it up, I wouldn't have a receipt either, if I didn't think to like wait by the door or something and make sure he scanned it. So there is nothing apparently I can do, because no one has this tracking number and I can't prove I sent it. Maybe it was stolen, maybe the UPS guy was a fuckup, who knows. All I know is Back Market won't give me my refund. They were like "bye, Felicia."
Even better, I cannot get the new 2020 laptop I had to buy to work, by installing from my backup so I can port over all my crucial programs. Mr.minim_calibre helped me with my first install problem when they came by on thanksgiving for min's annual drive-by pieing (she makes the best pumpkin pies, just like I would make them so now I don't have to make them myself!), and then again when I was having a completely new issue and he solved it, the day min and I went to see Wake Up Dead Man (which is cute! although the lack of a comma in the title is beyond irritating!). So those issues solved, I have attempted at this point to use migration assistant to get my old macbook air stuff over to the new one now probably 12 times, and it never works. The boxes are all checked, it says it's taking an hour or whatever to install from the backup, and nothing. Nothing in the restored files or any other folder they could exist in.
Apparently, you cannot use the apple genius bar for this type of thing. I was hoping to go there today but this isn't an issue they will assist with. They send you to articles, all of which I've read, and all of which tell you steps I have indeed taken. I did not have this problem with the laptop in April, which is making me even angrier. On top of losing over seven hundred bucks, I'll have to probably pay someone to help me be able to use this laptop, or maybe--I'm seriously considering this--send back the new one (with receipts this time so that means drive all the way to the nearest UPS store a half hour away and watch them while they scan it), then get a refund for it, and buy another one somewhere else. At this point I almost don't care about the programs and should just get an Mwhatever number they're on because getting a refurbished on is turning into such a nightmare. I keep thinking I might semi retire, but now I need money so I don't know. I just am not sure what to do.
Because on top of all this misery, my furnace was making dying noises and so I had to suddenly replace that. Furnaces are expensive, y'all. It was not a great time, but when they showed me the condition of the old furnace, I knew it had to go. It's beyond its lifespan, I knew that, but till now, it had been a pretty decent performer. The only good thing was that the new one has the same footprint as the old one, so they were able to put it right on top of the metal base, and use the existing pipe work for the gas and venting. It makes noises, but I was assured they were normal, though when it's blowing the air, it's quieter than the old one.
But of course, nothing ever goes right for me (seriously, this has been a longstanding joke with my friends, that I'm a walking Murphy's Law and whenever something can go wrong, it will, when it involves me), they charged me the full amount of over 8k on top of the 50 percent deposit I'd already given them, and when I called they were like "oh no! we'll refund it of course" but it's going to take 5-10 business days. I have to pay interest on that, since I put it on my credit card because I wanted to get the points, figuring I'd just move money over right away from my line of credit. It stings, since I will be paying for the roof for a while, and now this on top of everything...just so not what I needed. Financially, this has been a catastrophic year.
All my hopes of getting a new car (I love my Beetle, I do, but she's 20 years old now and there are parts of her that are literally falling apart and sometimes can't be replaced) have vanished now. I don't know what to do about the new laptop yet, I'm just sick and sad and hopeless. I'm taking a new drug because I guess my thyroid is hypo now?? which everyone is like, could just be normal happenstance, could be related to chemo, shrug, but I'm not super fond of some of the side effects. I'm supposed to talk with her about it at end of December after I've been on it for two months. But it sounds like one more drug I'll be on for life, however long that is.
I've been trying to not make this horrible list longer, but I may have to have a root canal, but won't be able to do it for quite a while despite tooth pain (still have to get to the dentist but ya know, funds) because one of the chemo drugs I get infusions of has a major side effect called necrosis of the jaw. Like. It's horrifying. If they do dental work that goes into your jaw bones, zometa can cause the jaw to become necrotic (dead) and your teeth come out, etc. See? Horrifying. Someone in my support group lost a huge section of his jaw and all his teeth to it, and had to have everything rebuilt. They say that they now know a lot more than they did years ago, so if you stop the infusions for 3 to 4 months or something, and don't have them for a month or so afterward, it should be okay. But I'm not sanguine about my chances.
Anyways. I'm sorry for so much doom and gloom. I did have a lovely birthday, so there was that! It was an exceptionally rare sunny day birthday--I can count on one hand the number of times it's been sunny on my birthday so it was extra nice because I treated myself to a mani-pedi and was afraid I'd be out walking in flip-flops in bare feet in pouring rain. (Tho as it was, I stepped off the curb and my foot was immediately covered by mushy leaves and cold water, so ha ha, it happened anyway.) Then my friend Keith and I went out to a pricey seafood place I really wish I went to more often (should fix that), here in West Seattle, and they do all this nice stuff for your birthday including giving you the really good tables with the spectacular views across Elliott Bay to downtown Seattle. Their special that night was lobster, and I am nuts for lobster, so perfect timing.
I think I might try to find somewhere in the budget (ha ha ha ha) to get a mani-pedi more often. One of my meds has ruined my hands and feet, my skin is like slick paper and the edges of the nails peel away all the time. Not necessarily for polish, but just to have someone help me maintain them, because it's hard on me at this point, especially my feet. We'll see, I guess.
A short list (it looks long, but it's the short list): I bought a new used laptop from Back Market when my old 2012 workhorse started having these weird spasms and would shut down. The new one, a 2020, I picked specifically because it had an intel processor instead of the new M1 chips, because I had a couple older programs that are crucial to my work that I wasn't sure would run on an M1. It went great until last month, when it wouldn't boot at all. I sent it back to the refurbisher and they said they couldn't repair it (a lie, I'm positive) so would send a replacement. Unforch, it wasn't what I ordered (it had an M1), so I had to mail it back via UPS last week (before turkey day).
Even more unfortunate, apparently UPS "never picked it up" from the mailing center, it's not in the system, so they won't give me a refund. Back Market forced me to do the refund option instead of sending me a replacement again since that's their policy. So assuming I would have a refund coming, I bought an entirely new 2020 just like the first one.
But now I guess I'm completely screwed out of over $700. Which I really don't have. Because I cannot prove a negative, and the mailing center dropoff of course doesn't give receipts for prelabeled packages. Which, even if I'd scheduled UPS to come to my house and pick it up, I wouldn't have a receipt either, if I didn't think to like wait by the door or something and make sure he scanned it. So there is nothing apparently I can do, because no one has this tracking number and I can't prove I sent it. Maybe it was stolen, maybe the UPS guy was a fuckup, who knows. All I know is Back Market won't give me my refund. They were like "bye, Felicia."
Even better, I cannot get the new 2020 laptop I had to buy to work, by installing from my backup so I can port over all my crucial programs. Mr.
minim_calibre helped me with my first install problem when they came by on thanksgiving for min's annual drive-by pieing (she makes the best pumpkin pies, just like I would make them so now I don't have to make them myself!), and then again when I was having a completely new issue and he solved it, the day min and I went to see Wake Up Dead Man (which is cute! although the lack of a comma in the title is beyond irritating!). So those issues solved, I have attempted at this point to use migration assistant to get my old macbook air stuff over to the new one now probably 12 times, and it never works. The boxes are all checked, it says it's taking an hour or whatever to install from the backup, and nothing. Nothing in the restored files or any other folder they could exist in.Apparently, you cannot use the apple genius bar for this type of thing. I was hoping to go there today but this isn't an issue they will assist with. They send you to articles, all of which I've read, and all of which tell you steps I have indeed taken. I did not have this problem with the laptop in April, which is making me even angrier. On top of losing over seven hundred bucks, I'll have to probably pay someone to help me be able to use this laptop, or maybe--I'm seriously considering this--send back the new one (with receipts this time so that means drive all the way to the nearest UPS store a half hour away and watch them while they scan it), then get a refund for it, and buy another one somewhere else. At this point I almost don't care about the programs and should just get an Mwhatever number they're on because getting a refurbished on is turning into such a nightmare. I keep thinking I might semi retire, but now I need money so I don't know. I just am not sure what to do.
Because on top of all this misery, my furnace was making dying noises and so I had to suddenly replace that. Furnaces are expensive, y'all. It was not a great time, but when they showed me the condition of the old furnace, I knew it had to go. It's beyond its lifespan, I knew that, but till now, it had been a pretty decent performer. The only good thing was that the new one has the same footprint as the old one, so they were able to put it right on top of the metal base, and use the existing pipe work for the gas and venting. It makes noises, but I was assured they were normal, though when it's blowing the air, it's quieter than the old one.
But of course, nothing ever goes right for me (seriously, this has been a longstanding joke with my friends, that I'm a walking Murphy's Law and whenever something can go wrong, it will, when it involves me), they charged me the full amount of over 8k on top of the 50 percent deposit I'd already given them, and when I called they were like "oh no! we'll refund it of course" but it's going to take 5-10 business days. I have to pay interest on that, since I put it on my credit card because I wanted to get the points, figuring I'd just move money over right away from my line of credit. It stings, since I will be paying for the roof for a while, and now this on top of everything...just so not what I needed. Financially, this has been a catastrophic year.
All my hopes of getting a new car (I love my Beetle, I do, but she's 20 years old now and there are parts of her that are literally falling apart and sometimes can't be replaced) have vanished now. I don't know what to do about the new laptop yet, I'm just sick and sad and hopeless. I'm taking a new drug because I guess my thyroid is hypo now?? which everyone is like, could just be normal happenstance, could be related to chemo, shrug, but I'm not super fond of some of the side effects. I'm supposed to talk with her about it at end of December after I've been on it for two months. But it sounds like one more drug I'll be on for life, however long that is.
I've been trying to not make this horrible list longer, but I may have to have a root canal, but won't be able to do it for quite a while despite tooth pain (still have to get to the dentist but ya know, funds) because one of the chemo drugs I get infusions of has a major side effect called necrosis of the jaw. Like. It's horrifying. If they do dental work that goes into your jaw bones, zometa can cause the jaw to become necrotic (dead) and your teeth come out, etc. See? Horrifying. Someone in my support group lost a huge section of his jaw and all his teeth to it, and had to have everything rebuilt. They say that they now know a lot more than they did years ago, so if you stop the infusions for 3 to 4 months or something, and don't have them for a month or so afterward, it should be okay. But I'm not sanguine about my chances.
Anyways. I'm sorry for so much doom and gloom. I did have a lovely birthday, so there was that! It was an exceptionally rare sunny day birthday--I can count on one hand the number of times it's been sunny on my birthday so it was extra nice because I treated myself to a mani-pedi and was afraid I'd be out walking in flip-flops in bare feet in pouring rain. (Tho as it was, I stepped off the curb and my foot was immediately covered by mushy leaves and cold water, so ha ha, it happened anyway.) Then my friend Keith and I went out to a pricey seafood place I really wish I went to more often (should fix that), here in West Seattle, and they do all this nice stuff for your birthday including giving you the really good tables with the spectacular views across Elliott Bay to downtown Seattle. Their special that night was lobster, and I am nuts for lobster, so perfect timing.
I think I might try to find somewhere in the budget (ha ha ha ha) to get a mani-pedi more often. One of my meds has ruined my hands and feet, my skin is like slick paper and the edges of the nails peel away all the time. Not necessarily for polish, but just to have someone help me maintain them, because it's hard on me at this point, especially my feet. We'll see, I guess.
Rereading Dragaera
Dec. 4th, 2025 03:09 pmsholioFor reasons not worth exploring at this juncture (i.e. a friend asked which book to start with), I reread Jhereg earlier this week and then promptly tore through Yendi, Dragon, Taltos, quite a bit of Tsalmoth, and am now reading Issola. (Look, they're short books, okay.)
( Spoilers and speculation about Where It's All Going )
( Spoilers and speculation about Where It's All Going )
The Hook, The Hack, and the Hike
Dec. 4th, 2025 11:03 pmmetafilter_feedThe Price of Loyalty: How Rewards Programs Trap Consumers... "Loyalty programs are everywhere: from airlines to the grocery store and gas station, companies are seeking your loyalty in exchange for discounts. These programs may look simple: collect your points, get some deals, and save some money. But as a new analysis (PDF) reveals, the reality is that many loyalty programs function as data-harvesting machines. These programs track what we buy, how we search, and even how we navigate our cursors across a screen – building hyper-detailed profiles that companies can use to gauge and direct how much each of us is willing to pay."
Another blurb from the authors (substack link) "The Loyalty Program Trap" (Related YT video)
Another blurb from the authors (substack link) "The Loyalty Program Trap" (Related YT video)
woke Zoomers and MAGA uncles alike...
Dec. 4th, 2025 10:54 pmmetafilter_feed...joking on their newly discovered common ground: whatever the law or the media says, in this house, Luigi Mangione is a hero.
``Our aim, in short, has been to re-examine the core values of America from the common ground we glimpsed in the response to the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. Then, from there, to point a path toward a new political landscape.'' relatedly, in the intercept.
``Our aim, in short, has been to re-examine the core values of America from the common ground we glimpsed in the response to the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. Then, from there, to point a path toward a new political landscape.'' relatedly, in the intercept.
South African government's response to Rubio's Substack post
Dec. 4th, 2025 10:45 pmmetafilter_feedSecretary Rubio, the world is watching. It is growing weary of double standards. It is tired of lectures on democracy from those who seem to have forgotten that democracy, at its best, must listen as much as it speaks.
Rubio's OP, as published by the US Embassy to the South African government. International relations and cooperation minister Ronald Lamola has delivered a stern rebuke to US secretary of state Marco Rubio, telling him South Africa does not seek validation from his country. South Africa to be replaced by Poland for next year's invite only G20 at Donnie's non-profit gofl farm "For now, we will take a commercial break until we resume normal programming," the South African president's spokesman said. The USA boycotted the G20 this year because Africa.
Rubio's OP, as published by the US Embassy to the South African government. International relations and cooperation minister Ronald Lamola has delivered a stern rebuke to US secretary of state Marco Rubio, telling him South Africa does not seek validation from his country. South Africa to be replaced by Poland for next year's invite only G20 at Donnie's non-profit gofl farm "For now, we will take a commercial break until we resume normal programming," the South African president's spokesman said. The USA boycotted the G20 this year because Africa.
"I decided to paint a tree on the door, then it grew really quickly"
Dec. 4th, 2025 09:40 pmmetafilter_feedThe artist Emily Powell has painted the walls of her home and turned it into a work of art. Now she is selling it. The house is in Brixham, Torbay, and has an asking price of £2 million as "a complete, immersive artwork" in a road where the average house sells for £200k. Powell says she will come back every ten years to retouch the work. There is a 15-minute video interview and tour by Lick Decorating. Her website.
updates: refusing to pray with a religious client, learning to brag, and more
Dec. 4th, 2025 09:59 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.
1. Can I refuse to pray with my religious client?
The advice you gave me was very useful and it helped me to organize my thoughts and see the situation in a more rounded fashion.
I have decided to lean into pretending to be religious and keep this client as long as I can. I have my elderly mother living with me and, thanks to the policies of the administration these people voted in, we are struggling and will struggle even further when the health insurance premiums increase again.
So I absolutely fake pray with them every time and have learned the verbiage to fit in better with how they speak. If they can fake it in order to profit financially and politically, then so can I. I see this as them doing a small part in addressing the problems they are causing for me and so many others in this country.
I’m going to get my bag from these folks who I think are doing irreparable harm, and I am using a substantial percentage of it to donate to Planned Parenthood and other organizations fighting them. I’m frankly tired of taking the high road every time and having it washed out from underneath me, and tired of seeing that play out in the political arena as well. I am also documenting very carefully when I have to advise them that they’ve broken federal law and then they lie to me about having addressed it per my advice, and when I am able to move on — if our IRS is in any kind of shape — I will whistleblow on them.
2. How do I brag about myself to my boss? (#4 at the link)
Your perspective and the commenters helped illuminate that this was an odd point of anxiety. Well, I could talk your ear off about how distorted my work culture norms became from that (past tense!) job. Your blog did a lot in helping me validate my feelings of something not being right.
My spouse has been out of work for a while, and in the same week — we both at last got offers for positions we are delighted about. I’ve also started a master’s degree program, and today I have 6.25 days left of this company I’ve been at for almost a decade. I could cry with relief. (I have!)
To any readers who might go through shame, embarrassment, or anxiety if your job does something that shocks others — I see you. You can get out. Don’t give up!
3. I’m taking an extended break from work and my dusty LinkedIn profile is haunting me (#4 at the link)
Thanks so much for your answer, it helped me relax a bit. I think as a human with ADHD who has often felt a need to explain and offer context, the LinkedIn profile was just really sticking in my craw. It was so weird to deal with such sudden and profound disability and have lots of people in my life not know what was happening to me. Everyone else was going on like things were normal, and I felt like leaving it un-updated meant I was pretending to be normal too. Even though I’ve proudly identified as disabled for a long time due to neurodivergence and chronic illness, this was a whole new level. I think I just felt really unseen, but updating it would also have been weird and terrible. I couldn’t figure out a way to do it in a way that wouldn’t invite unsolicited comments or bias, but leaving it alone didn’t seem like a real option until I wrote in. Letting it stay dusty was definitely the best course of action, and your answer gave me some peace on that point.
Good news is, I’m almost fully recovered now! I did end up updating my LinkedIn this summer, because I was finally ready to scout for volunteer and paid roles to ease my way back into the workforce. Did it help with my return to work? Dubious, lol. I think networking and being able to write/talk about myself well were bigger factors in my favor, and perhaps no small measure of sheer luck. Using your cover letter, resume, and interview prep tips were major, and it didn’t hurt that I work in a niche with a small professional community. On a whim, I put out a few feelers on professional FB groups and they got way more traction than I expected. I was invited to apply, interviewed, and was hired for an amazing part-time, fully virtual independent contractor role within two weeks(!) of posting short blurbs about who I am, what I can do, and what I was looking for.
There’s lots of support, flexibility, and room to grow in this role and things are already taking off for me. I was accepted to the volunteer position I wanted too, and I’m really excited to give back to my community. I’m so grateful, both to have my health back and to have lucked into super supportive environments where my lived experience as a disabled and neurodivergent person are deeply valued.
4. Do I have to keep working late now that I’ve resigned? (#3 at the link)
It ended up calming down on its own pretty soon after, and they ended up keeping me on as freelance worker. Although they took my salary and divided it by 40 hours a week to calculate my hourly rate and aren’t paying me a penny more for me to cover my own benefits and vacation so … the feeling of resentment continues. But hey, pretty good for a part-time gig!
The post updates: refusing to pray with a religious client, learning to brag, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
The gold and narco road
Dec. 4th, 2025 08:34 pmmetafilter_feed"I thought it would just take a few phone calls and the problem would be resolved," he said. By his own admission, Sánchez went into the job incredibly naíve. What he didn't realize was that the mine lay in the path of a key narcotics-trafficking route into the United States, and that taking back the mine also meant cutting off the Chapitos not just from the gold, but millions in drug profits. from Gold, guns and cartels: The battle for a billion-dollar Mexican mine [El Pais]
updates: the unhealthy snacks, the coworker who won’t share her calendar, and more
Dec. 4th, 2025 08:29 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
1. My employee wants us to stop ordering “unhealthy snacks”
After I wrote in and read your advice, I decided that if the employee were to make any of his comments about others’ food choices in my presence, I would address it with him and explain how it’s not appropriate and used the language you suggested. However. I never really had the opportunity and he never broached the topic with me or my employee again.
Also, to clarify, I am not his manager. However, my manager had a meeting with me and another coworker to discuss his request and how we would respond to him. I used the points you made about how he should not be commenting on what others eat and that we would always be happy to accept suggestions for other healthy snacks that we could order, but we would not stop purchasing other snacks that could be considered unhealthy. I don’t know exactly what was said to him, but since then honestly I don’t think he’s done it again. I have made an effort to change up the variety of fruit we bring in and try to keep it a good balance for everyone, but we definitely still have chips and cookies.
I know some felt that he was not meaning well, but I genuinely think he was. He’s also young, so it could be that he wasn’t aware that what he was saying could trigger someone or make them feel judged! I think he believed he was helping others. However, if he ever does start up again or starts commenting on what others are eating, I know how to handle it.
2. A man at our events makes other attendees uncomfortable
After you printed the letter, the other planners and I sat down and decided we wouldn’t allow Alex to attend, which we had been leaning towards. It ended up being moot, as he didn’t try to register. He no longer engages with this fandom as far as we can tell.
Our event went really well earlier this year. We had a code of conduct that included a rule about levels of socialization, and we had pins for badges to indicate how much someone would like to be talked to.
We got so much wonderful feedback from people, and many people said they appreciated the steps we took to be inclusive. Thanks again for the advice!
3. I accidentally let a contact think my dad is still alive
Thank you for your advice. It made me feel a lot less worried about this ultimately quite funny situation! The next couple of times I saw my Narnian contact I made a point of saying, “Oh, my dad would have loved X!” or things like that, and seems to have cleared up the confusion.
I also wanted to say thank you to the commenters who reassured me that they have also made this kind of past/present-tense slip when talking about people they’ve lost. I think that what I was really worried about was the idea that I might have given people the idea that I’d somehow forgotten about my lovely dad, who was very precious to me and a huge influence on the person I am now, and it was really comforting to know that other people do the same thing. I’m choosing to think of it as him continuing to make his presence felt!
4. My coworker refuses to share her calendar and says she’ll quit if she’s ordered to
As many of your readers pointed out in the comments (which I read voraciously), the real issue was not so much the private calendar, but more the lack of available time to schedule on the calendar. Our boss/CEO spoke to her about this issue and it has gotten better. She has more usable time on her calendar, so it is less of a bottleneck to put meetings on, and the onus of scheduling has been put back on her – if she can’t make a specific time work, but refuses to let something happen without her, then she has to solve it.
Overall, it’s better. It still bucks the trend of the office, she is the only one with a private calendar, so it can come up as an issue that rankles others – but a lot of the drama has died down.
5. Do I need to rush to buy a new car for my job?
My boss transported project stuff and I also attempted to use a Big Name package pickup company to make some deliveries, but the package pickup company was unreliable.
After a while, I did end up getting a car when my local dealership got a car I couldn’t pass on!
Ultimately, having a car does make my job a lot easier. I wish my workplace provided some type of additional compensation for myself and my colleagues who regularly use our cars while working. Thank you to everyone who reassured me that I was not obligated to buy a new car for work!
The post updates: the unhealthy snacks, the coworker who won’t share her calendar, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Fanart, H2O: Just Add Water (tv), Cleo/Lewis, Kissing out at sea
Dec. 4th, 2025 12:14 pmbluerosekatie posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
smallfandomfestTitle: Cleo and Lewis
Artist: bluerosekatie
Fandom: H2O: Just Add Water
Pairing/Characters: Cleo Sertori/Lewis McCartney
Rating/Category: Gen, Het
Prompt: H2O: Just Add Water (tv), Cleo/Lewis, Kissing out at sea
Notes/Warnings: N/A
Link to art on my DeviantArt
( Read more... )
Artist: bluerosekatie
Fandom: H2O: Just Add Water
Pairing/Characters: Cleo Sertori/Lewis McCartney
Rating/Category: Gen, Het
Prompt: H2O: Just Add Water (tv), Cleo/Lewis, Kissing out at sea
Notes/Warnings: N/A
Link to art on my DeviantArt
( Read more... )
update: I turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and now they’re blowing up my phone
Dec. 4th, 2025 06:59 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
Remember the letter-writer who turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and the firm started blowing up his phone? Here’s the update.
I wish I had a wild update, or a satisfying update, but here is what ended up happening in my saga with the strange contractor who tried to change the pay rate and then assaulted me with endless texts and calls.
I wrote to the woman who seemed to be the highest-ranking officer at the subcontractor and said, “Hello, I’m withdrawing my candidacy, and these are the reasons why.”
She immediately pressed for a phone call, but I replied with a firm no and said, “The incessant calls from multiple people, including ones I don’t know, and the general sense of urgency are really out of step with what I’ve experienced in the past.”
You would think that was clear enough, but she again pressed hard for a phone call (“A five-minute call would clear this up! Please say you’ll take a call, I can be available at any time starting right now until 10 pm”). I sent a final reply saying, “No, thank you.”
Then I started getting automated emails from the HR lady who initially argued with me and tried to browbeat me (and then guilt me) into accepting the lower rate. The automated messages were all the same: “You have outstanding paperwork that is past due. You must sign the paperwork immediately. Onboarding is not complete until you have signed everything. Do this now.” etc. etc.
I just ignored it, and eventually blocked the email address.
A final note: I’ve made a number of contacts in the legal contracting world over the years, and I touched base with a few of them to ask if they knew of this company. Most did not, but one said he had heard of them … they were known primarily for acquiring security guards for secure government installations. He had never heard of them attempting to work with lawyers or in the contracting space.
So my takeaway is that they are trying to expand their business but are out of their depth and panicked when they realized they were losing out on a headhunting fee.
Thank you again for publishing my letter! And for your advice — it was much appreciated.
I ended up moving forward with the competing offer I had. I’m still in the long, vague process of onboarding, but obviously the awful government shutdown has derailed that to some extent. I’m selling my condo and a lot of possessions to make ends meet, and hope that this situation resolves soon. Thank you for your posts about the shutdown as well! I know so many people here in DC who are really struggling.
The post update: I turned down a bait-and-switch job offer and now they’re blowing up my phone appeared first on Ask a Manager.
updates: I’m not in the group chat, new manager’s team hates her, and more
Dec. 4th, 2025 05:29 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
1. Everyone likes me, so why am I not in the group chat?
Well, I’m still not in the group chat, so I’m sorry to say I can’t report if it’s really about medieval falconry as discussed in the comments :-)
I’m still happy at the job and have not asked to be included or started a new chat or anything like it. You and several commenters suggested I could just leave it be and that’s what I did.
When I started the job, I was a bit apprehensive about being new to (and the only woman in) such a tight-knit long-term team, and then everyone was so nice that it seemed too good to be true, and I was maybe looking a bit too hard for red flags that might mean that I’m not accepted/excluded/people didn’t like me.
Now I know a bit more about my coworkers and their dynamics, and I think it’s just the case that, because they have been working together for so long, they know a lot of things about each other’s private lives. Health issues, trouble with grown kids, stuff like that, which I, by now, have heard about in broad terms, but I assume that the other chat is where they go into more detail about this. Could be totally wrong of course, but they are generally super supportive of one another (which I hadn’t expected from an all-male team, but that’s my own bias I guess). So it’s plausible, that, when the main chat gets “I leave early today for an appointment,” the other one gets “It’s my turn to host the support group for spouses of people with depression, wife is still not doing great” or something along those lines. If that’s the case, I’m totally okay with not being in there because I just don’t have the same history with them. I still haven’t found any other signs that people try to exclude me or are in any way toxic, so even if the chat is about something else, I don’t think me not being in there means anything bad.
However, my one-year anniversary is coming up, so there is still a chance that I will be added with great fanfare (and hopefully not an initiation ritual, as other commenters speculated) on that day, who knows ;)
2. New manager’s team hates her — but she says they’re the problem
I did try your advice, along with some other guard rails — for instance, processes fully documented so that there was no question about team members being given conflicting direction — and, long story short, it became clear that Catelyn wasn’t going to change, and was never going to be able to manage the team effectively. And it became really clear that our HR wasn’t going to back me in addressing her problems, in any sense of the term. My prediction in the comment thread of how that was going to play out was pretty accurate.
I couldn’t fix her and I couldn’t fire her, but I found an opportunity to at least salvage the team. There was another section of the organization which desperately needed help of the kind of work that Catelyn is actually good at (not managing, obviously, but the rest of her job), and I knew that layoffs were in the air and I was going to be told to give up one or more positions. I managed to broker a trade where I “gave up” Catelyn’s position, with her in it, to this other area as an individual contributor — with the asterisk that when (if) finances recover, I will need to refill her previous role, which I wouldn’t be able to do if she’d just been laid off.
The team is now being managed by someone they know and trust and they’re happy, in spite of there being one fewer person to do the work. Catelyn seems to be doing well in her new role, though I understand they’re moving at least one person to report to her and I wouldn’t put money on how that’s going to go. I also hear that even more shuffling is coming, and that she will end up reporting to the person who labeled the team member who’d carefully documented Catelyn’s issues as a “troublemaker.” So all the toxicity is in a single basket, and hopefully it won’t spill far enough to reach us … though when you have to say a thing like that, it does not bode well for the organization as a whole.
Thanks for your response. It really helped me reframe what I was seeing (and not seeing).
3. My “on-site” coworker is never on-site
So first and foremost, I dropped the spreadsheet immediately.
Both you and the (very adamant) comments section made very compelling and correct cases for my mental health. That, on top of pointing out the now obvious fact that my boss cared less about it than I did, was immensely helpful in changing my mindset around the whole thing. I’m only responsible for my own work and business. Worrying about things out of my scope doesn’t do anything except add to my stress levels. So I let all that ish go and focused on getting my stuff done. My day to day improved greatly.
As for my coworker, there’s still the occasional delay or surprise day off, but much less than before. There was a large company-wide return to office initiative earlier this year and there’s a lot more folks around in general. I suspect those two things are related.
I actually took some vacation time in September, and it went swimmingly.
Thanks for the advice, and the folks who took my struggles seriously. This kind of thing can be very difficult when you’re autistic, and the kind voices doing the explaining heavily outweighed the ones calling me a nosy Nelly. It was very much appreciated.
4. I’m ready to retire young but don’t want to burn bridges (#5 at the link)
I’m happy to report that I carried out my plans earlier this year! It was scary timing, as the stock market was in a bit of a free fall and the job market is tough should I need or want to go back, but I’d spent too much time planning for this to not see it through. The first few weeks of the break were filled with administrative tasks, like enrolling in an ACA health plan, but that’s behind me now and I’m enjoying just my time off. It’s still early days, but I can’t imagine myself ever wanting to get back into the corporate grind.
If I have one regret, it’s that I gave more than two weeks’ notice. As I’d been planning for this departure for a long time, I had everything well-organized and prepared, and my likely successor was as ready as they would ever be to step into my role. The notice period was intense, because as I suspected would happen, I was subjected to multiple “what can we do to keep you?” conversations with my boss and grandboss. I’d been transparent over my tenure about the stressors of the job and things that I’d have liked to see changed, but it seems they were only willing to take action when I was on my way out the door. It’s possible I could have gotten them to agree to let me go part-time, remote, or any number of other things, but I had already mentally moved on and wasn’t willing to entertain these conversations. I needed a clean break … and I got it!
The post updates: I’m not in the group chat, new manager’s team hates her, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Sumerian with subtitles
Dec. 4th, 2025 04:13 pmmetafilter_feedThe premier of Dumuzi's Dream and Dumuzi's Demons a short film in Sumerian [youtube 25min PG-13 - zombies] will be kicking off in a couple of hours time in Trinity College Dublin. Starring Gwenhwyfar Ferch Rhys as Dumuzi [whom MetaPrev] and Olivia Romao as Ĝeštinana. Your Proto-Indo-European phrasebook won't help because Sumerian is an Asian language isolate. Subtitles in Magyar and Mandarin . . . and English, tho.
Fancake's Theme for December: Amnesty
Dec. 4th, 2025 08:28 amrunpunkrun
At the end of another long year,
fancake's theme for December is, as always, amnesty. This month you can make recs for any previous theme—from any year—as long as it hasn't already been recced for that theme.I posted a rec for
thefourthvine's sexy and fun We Better Make a Start, an everybody lives/nobody dies Stranger Things fic with Steve & Robin friendship and Steve/Eddie makeouts.If you have any questions about this theme, or the comm, come talk to me!
Community Recs Post!
Dec. 4th, 2025 11:14 amglitteryv posting in recthethingEvery Thursday, we have a community post, just like this one, where you can drop a rec or five in the comments.
This works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)
(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)
So what cool podfics/fancrafts/fanvids/fanart/other kinds of fanworks have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.
BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here
This works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)
(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)
So what cool podfics/fancrafts/fanvids/fanart/other kinds of fanworks have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.
BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here
share your funniest office holiday stories
Dec. 4th, 2025 03:59 pmaskamanager_feedWe have once again entered the season of forced workplace merriment, holiday party disasters, and other seasonal delights! Thus it is time to hear about your office holiday debacles, past or current.
Did you pass out naked in the break room? Did your manager provide you with a three-page document of “party procedures”? Did your seven-year-old tell your boss the party food “tastes like shit”? These are all real stories that we’ve heard here in the past. Now you must top them.
Share your weirdest or funniest story related to holidays at the office in the comments.
The post share your funniest office holiday stories appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Torchwood: Fanfic: In Charge
Dec. 4th, 2025 02:38 pmbadly_knitted posting in fan_flashworksTitle: In Charge
Fandom: Torchwood
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ianto, Tosh, Owen, Gwen.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 661
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack is on paternity leave, so Ianto is now in charge of Torchwood Three.
Content Notes: Contains M-Preg.
Written For: Challenge 499: Boss.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
( In Charge... )
