should I work from home if I have a cold?
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:59 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
askamanager_feedA reader writes:
I wonder this each time I get a cold and thought I’d get your opinion. My company has hybrid work; we’re expected in the office three or more days per week. I have a cold so told my manager I’d be WFH on Monday and she was supportive. I was still feeling crummy on Tuesday so again told her I was WFH, and she again was supportive but less enthusiastically so. So now it’s Wednesday, I still have a cold but symptoms are manageable with cold meds, and I feel like I have to go in. I’m planning on wearing a mask but will still be more miserable than if I was allowed to WFH with all my creature comforts for surviving a cold. My boss hadn’t explicitly told me I need to come in but I kind of feel ridiculous working from home three days in a row just because I got a cold.
I haven’t noticed how many days my coworkers take when they’re sick but my boss is very rarely sick and I’ve never seen her take more than one day. I know you’re on the side of stay home when you’re sick, but when does that turn into me being overly cautious? (This is separate from sick days; I wasn’t feeling sick enough that I couldn’t work. Though if we take three sick days in a row, we’re supposed to provide a doctor’s note! I can’t see my boss actually asking for that though.)
Ideally, when you have the ability to work from home, you should be able to work from home when you have a cold — at least at the start of it. Some colds last for weeks and it might not be realistic to work from home the whole time, but tacking on an extra day or two to your normal two WFH days that week shouldn’t be a big deal. That’s better for everyone — you’re more comfortable than if you had to drag yourself to work (and might get more done as a result) and you’re not exposing your coworkers. If you can do your work from home, as recognized by your hybrid work policy, it just makes sense. So no, you’re not being dramatic about wanting to!
In reality, though, some managers/employers are more rigid about this than others.
So one option is to simply ask your manager: “I’m pretty miserable with this cold and I think I’ll get more done if I can work from home today, although that will put me under my in-office days for the week. I also don’t want to expose people. What’s your general feeling about working from home a few extra days during a week when we’re under the weather — is that okay to do or do you strongly prefer that we not?”
Alternately, if your sense is that if you ask she’ll tell you no, whereas if you just announce you’re doing it she won’t interfere and you have enough capital that it won’t be held against you in any long-term way even though she’d prefer you not do it, in some situations that’s the better course of action. I like directly asking the question, so you know where she stands and you’re not guessing, but sometimes the value of that is outweighed by the value of just doing what you need to do.
The post should I work from home if I have a cold? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
River: Sherlock (BBC): Fanfic: Action on the Thames
Mar. 26th, 2026 06:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smallhobbit posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fan_flashworksTitle: Action on the Thames
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 1,017 words
Summary: Inspector Stanley Hopkins of Thames River Police is in charge of an operation
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 1,017 words
Summary: Inspector Stanley Hopkins of Thames River Police is in charge of an operation
( May I remind you )
Oopsie. BC int'l student visas drop by 66%, feds only intended 18% cut
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:43 pmmetafilter_feedEffects on BC of Canadian international student visa/tuition crisis:
B.C. saw 66% drop in international student approvals following federal reforms (article includes a chart of the disparity between forecasted and actual approvals in 2024 across all 10 provinces). "And it brought about unintended consequences," says the Auditor General. (YouTube, 2:30 m)
What consequences, do you ask? Post secondary institutions have increasingly come to rely on international student tuition to make up revenue shortfall from "inadequate provincial operating grants". International student tuition is almost five times higher than domestic tuition at the undergraduate level, says Statistics Canada. See the chart titled Total fees by source at public post-secondary institutions in Canada in this CBC article for a comparison of tuition revenues from international vs. domestic sources. In 2024, the federal government placed a 2-year cap on student permits. This has had catastrophic effects across BC. A sampling: Langara College cuts 200 instructors as student visa numbers fall Facing $8.4M decline in international revenue, North Island College cuts staff, reviews programs Camosun must cut $7.2M to $9M from budget, workforce 'adjustments' to come: president KPU to issue layoff notices to approximately 70 faculty members As a result, B.C. launches review into sustainability of public post-secondary system. Quote: Minister says province is 'not in a position' to provide additional money to the post-secondary sector Other provinces have also been hit hard. For example, Manitoba Institute of Trades and Technology closing after international student enrolment drops. University of Calgary faces $34.7 million shortfall amid more international student cuts And I haven't even touched on the lack of oversight in cases of non-compliance in international students reported to Immigration.
What consequences, do you ask? Post secondary institutions have increasingly come to rely on international student tuition to make up revenue shortfall from "inadequate provincial operating grants". International student tuition is almost five times higher than domestic tuition at the undergraduate level, says Statistics Canada. See the chart titled Total fees by source at public post-secondary institutions in Canada in this CBC article for a comparison of tuition revenues from international vs. domestic sources. In 2024, the federal government placed a 2-year cap on student permits. This has had catastrophic effects across BC. A sampling: Langara College cuts 200 instructors as student visa numbers fall Facing $8.4M decline in international revenue, North Island College cuts staff, reviews programs Camosun must cut $7.2M to $9M from budget, workforce 'adjustments' to come: president KPU to issue layoff notices to approximately 70 faculty members As a result, B.C. launches review into sustainability of public post-secondary system. Quote: Minister says province is 'not in a position' to provide additional money to the post-secondary sector Other provinces have also been hit hard. For example, Manitoba Institute of Trades and Technology closing after international student enrolment drops. University of Calgary faces $34.7 million shortfall amid more international student cuts And I haven't even touched on the lack of oversight in cases of non-compliance in international students reported to Immigration.
"Before all turns to dust, you remember your ten toes..."
Mar. 26th, 2026 05:22 pmmetafilter_feedSalt is a lyrical 5 min. Palestinian short from 2024. Two boys are floating in The Dead Sea (supposedly on the Jordanian side). On the other shore is their old country. The film is guided by the poetry of Arab poet Mahmoud Darwish.
They buy and eat a small watermelon. The juice from the fruit stains their faces and hands. The watermelon is red, its rind is green, its seeds black - the colours of their forbidden flag. 620 movies were produced in Palestine, according to Letterboxd. (I've only seen 14 of them). There's also a Palestine Cinema movie database with some links to where to watch them. (By the way, The Dead Sea is drained and dying, and will probably disappear from the map in the next decade or two.)
They buy and eat a small watermelon. The juice from the fruit stains their faces and hands. The watermelon is red, its rind is green, its seeds black - the colours of their forbidden flag. 620 movies were produced in Palestine, according to Letterboxd. (I've only seen 14 of them). There's also a Palestine Cinema movie database with some links to where to watch them. (By the way, The Dead Sea is drained and dying, and will probably disappear from the map in the next decade or two.)
Life at a Big 3 consulting firm
Mar. 26th, 2026 04:46 pmask_metafilter_feedAsking for a friend: What is it like working at one of the big 3 consulting firms these days? Do they support work/life balance? Is the work collegial or competitive? Is there notable variation among the big three?
Said friend is a college student who wants to make a positive impact in the world. They have been told universally that starting out in private sector and then moving to public sector / non-profit is the better path for long-term impact versus starting in the public sector.
They are at an elite institution and in the top 5% of their class. They also have a significant chronic health condition that requires them to manage their spoons very carefully. They can't be pushed beyond their limits the way many young folks are. They are very good at time management and they get their work done, but they do need to have boundaries.
They want to work with smart people. They want to improve the organizations and systems they come in contact with. They want to collaborate and problem-solve and work in an environment of mutual respect.
What is life like for entry-level staff at Bain, McKinsey, and BCG?
If you have any relatively direct insights from personal experience or the experience of someone close to you, your thoughts would be very much appreciated.
Thank you.
Said friend is a college student who wants to make a positive impact in the world. They have been told universally that starting out in private sector and then moving to public sector / non-profit is the better path for long-term impact versus starting in the public sector.
They are at an elite institution and in the top 5% of their class. They also have a significant chronic health condition that requires them to manage their spoons very carefully. They can't be pushed beyond their limits the way many young folks are. They are very good at time management and they get their work done, but they do need to have boundaries.
They want to work with smart people. They want to improve the organizations and systems they come in contact with. They want to collaborate and problem-solve and work in an environment of mutual respect.
What is life like for entry-level staff at Bain, McKinsey, and BCG?
If you have any relatively direct insights from personal experience or the experience of someone close to you, your thoughts would be very much appreciated.
Thank you.
Simplicity, by Mattie Lubchansky
Mar. 26th, 2026 10:09 amrunpunkrunLOVED the art. Fun, colorful, cartoony, and expressive. Brings to mind Matt Groening and John Allison.
LOVED that there's more trans and genderqueer characters than you can shake a stick at.
LOVED the framing device with the kids in the museum.
LIKED the first half of the book with the Spiritual Association of Peers, a secretive community/cult that lives in the lawless exurbs outside the New York City Administrative and Security Territory and refuses to talk to the researcher sent to research them.
LIKED our hapless trans man Lucius Pasternak, researcher, who's just trying to do his job.
NOT KEEN on the second half of the book with the visions and the monster(s) as a metaphor for, idk, self-loathing or capitalism or whatever. It's not a trope I have a natural affinity for and this didn't sell me on it. I want real monsters or I want self-loathing, but don't outsource the problem. The romance also felt whatever. There was chemistry between them, but little else.
UNSATISFIED by the ending, which seems to be resolved in passing by two randos, but also raises a lot of big questions that go unanswered and left me skeptical.
IN SHORT, the first half is kind of a mystery where you're getting to know the players and the setting, and the second half is a kind of gory fairy tale where it's about types of people and social movements, big picture stuff, and I felt like it didn't really match up with the first half.
BUT I'm always glad to read something from Lubchansky and this was a fun way to spend some time.
CONTAINS: some misgendering, including from the robotic health care system; nudity; sex; animal harm (scraggly and aggressive wild bear); violence; cartoon blood and guts; cartoon cops and their cartoon blood and guts.
LOVED that there's more trans and genderqueer characters than you can shake a stick at.
LOVED the framing device with the kids in the museum.
LIKED the first half of the book with the Spiritual Association of Peers, a secretive community/cult that lives in the lawless exurbs outside the New York City Administrative and Security Territory and refuses to talk to the researcher sent to research them.
LIKED our hapless trans man Lucius Pasternak, researcher, who's just trying to do his job.
NOT KEEN on the second half of the book with the visions and the monster(s) as a metaphor for, idk, self-loathing or capitalism or whatever. It's not a trope I have a natural affinity for and this didn't sell me on it. I want real monsters or I want self-loathing, but don't outsource the problem. The romance also felt whatever. There was chemistry between them, but little else.
UNSATISFIED by the ending, which seems to be resolved in passing by two randos, but also raises a lot of big questions that go unanswered and left me skeptical.
IN SHORT, the first half is kind of a mystery where you're getting to know the players and the setting, and the second half is a kind of gory fairy tale where it's about types of people and social movements, big picture stuff, and I felt like it didn't really match up with the first half.
BUT I'm always glad to read something from Lubchansky and this was a fun way to spend some time.
CONTAINS: some misgendering, including from the robotic health care system; nudity; sex; animal harm (scraggly and aggressive wild bear); violence; cartoon blood and guts; cartoon cops and their cartoon blood and guts.
update: my new team thinks they’re incredibly overworked, but they actually do nothing
Mar. 26th, 2026 04:29 pmaskamanager_feedRemember the letter-writer whose new team thought they were incredibly overworked, but they actually did nothing? Here’s the update.
I wanted to send an update as many of the commentators had requested one. I was the person who wrote about the team that spent all their time reading books and organizing their record collections, and yet kept insisting they were Really Very Busy.
Alison’s advice was spot-on — I was only there on a temporary basis, so I decided to just enjoy the madness as a casual observer before I went back to my permanent role.
There was a lot of discussion in the comments as to why the team was behaving the way they were, and some of the commentators had great insights. A couple of things that might provide context:
– The job that the team does is the sort of job that would have genuinely been quite demanding in the days before smartphones. Without giving too much away, the basic task is supporting colleagues in the field (imagine police officers or the military). So things like iphones, Google maps, and group chats have taken a lot of those tasks away, and the people in the field are now broadly very independent from the people in the office. So I think maybe some of the team’s attitude was a hangover from the old days?
– We work in an industry that’s usually very competitive and fast-paced. A few people in the comments wondered if that might have something to do with it and I think on some level it did (it was almost as though they thought they ought to be busy, without considering whether they actually were).
– It started to become apparent after a few months that it was management which was significantly adding to the problem. They were OBSESSED with coverage — bringing in four workers when one would do, refusing leave requests because two out of 20 people were already off, etc. It actually got really depressing because I started missing events in my personal life just to be dragged into the office to do nothing, on the basis that “we won’t cope without you.” I really think that management hold a lot of responsibility for the current situation, as the team seem to be feeding off that “coverage anxiety.”
One thing I did appreciate was it gave me a lot of time for my own projects. I worked on several pitches for things I really wanted to do, and was successfully given a lot of opportunities in the wider company.
But aside from that, the really big thing was that it helped me get over my work anxiety. I’ve been guilty in the past of not setting the right emotional boundaries — the mindset of “I’m lucky to have a job,” as opposed to “money is exchanged for goods and services.” Working somewhere that I really didn’t care about helped cure me of that. I started putting my career ahead of my job and focussing on what would help me succeed in the long-term, as opposed to just working hard for my boss. De-centering my job from my career has completely changed my life — and for that reason, I’m very grateful for my time with the Team That Work Forgot!
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"There is a great deal of ruin in a nation." - Adam Smith
Mar. 26th, 2026 03:59 pmmetafilter_feedA Strategic analysis of the US/Israel - Iran War (as of Mar 25 2026) "This post is a set of observations on the current war in Iran and my thoughts on the broader strategic implications". By Bret Devereaux. 7k words.
Intro to the post to calibrate it: "...this post is going to be unavoidably 'political,' because as a citizen of the United States, commenting on the war means making a statement about the President who unilaterally and illegally launched it without much public debate and without consulting Congress. And this war is dumb as hell. ......I am going to spend the next however many words working through what I think are the strategic implications of where we are, but that is my broad thesis: for the United States this war was an unwise gamble on extremely long odds; the gamble (that the regime would collapse swiftly) has already failed and as a result locked in essentially nothing but negative outcomes. Even with the regime were to collapse in the coming weeks or suddenly sue for peace, every likely outcome leaves the United States in a meaningfully worse strategic position than when it started. ......Now, before we go forward, I want to clarify a few things. First, none of this is a defense of the Iranian regime, which is odious. That said, there are many odious regimes in the world and we do not go to war with all of them. Second, this is a post fundamentally about American strategy or the lack thereof and thus not a post about Israeli strategy. For what it is worth, my view is that Benjamin Netanyahu has is playing an extremely short game because it benefits him politically and personally to do so and there is a significant (but by no means certain) chance that Israel will come to regret the decision to encourage this war. I'll touch on some of that, but it isn't my focus. Likewise, this is not a post about the strategy of the Gulf states, who – as is often the sad fate of small states – find their fate largely in the hands of larger powers. Finally, we should keep in mind that this isn't an academic exercise: many, many people will suffer because of these decisions, both as victims of the violence in the region but also as a consequent of the economic ripples."
Intro to the post to calibrate it: "...this post is going to be unavoidably 'political,' because as a citizen of the United States, commenting on the war means making a statement about the President who unilaterally and illegally launched it without much public debate and without consulting Congress. And this war is dumb as hell. ......I am going to spend the next however many words working through what I think are the strategic implications of where we are, but that is my broad thesis: for the United States this war was an unwise gamble on extremely long odds; the gamble (that the regime would collapse swiftly) has already failed and as a result locked in essentially nothing but negative outcomes. Even with the regime were to collapse in the coming weeks or suddenly sue for peace, every likely outcome leaves the United States in a meaningfully worse strategic position than when it started. ......Now, before we go forward, I want to clarify a few things. First, none of this is a defense of the Iranian regime, which is odious. That said, there are many odious regimes in the world and we do not go to war with all of them. Second, this is a post fundamentally about American strategy or the lack thereof and thus not a post about Israeli strategy. For what it is worth, my view is that Benjamin Netanyahu has is playing an extremely short game because it benefits him politically and personally to do so and there is a significant (but by no means certain) chance that Israel will come to regret the decision to encourage this war. I'll touch on some of that, but it isn't my focus. Likewise, this is not a post about the strategy of the Gulf states, who – as is often the sad fate of small states – find their fate largely in the hands of larger powers. Finally, we should keep in mind that this isn't an academic exercise: many, many people will suffer because of these decisions, both as victims of the violence in the region but also as a consequent of the economic ripples."
Who are your favorite Spanish language musicians
Mar. 26th, 2026 02:46 pmask_metafilter_feedWho are your favorite singers and bands who sing in Spanish? And why do you like them?
Trying to listen to more music in Spanish, but I want recommendations of folks you love, not just any old singer. Thank you!
Trying to listen to more music in Spanish, but I want recommendations of folks you love, not just any old singer. Thank you!
what happens when someone recognizes your letter to an advice column?
Mar. 26th, 2026 02:59 pmaskamanager_feedIt’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
I’m a longtime reader and huge fan of Ask a Manager. I wondered if you’ve ever done a column about people who were busted as writing in — people whose coworkers, boss, family, or friends read a post and realized the author was someone they knew.
I have not, although I know of a few times when it’s happened: If you remember the manager whose best employee quit when she wasn’t allowed to go to her college graduation, the employee herself recognized the letter years later and wrote in, one of the other interns fired for writing a petition about the dress code wrote in a year later, and someone who thought they were a coworker of the person angry about cheap ass rolls also wrote in. There was also a letter-writer who was pretty sure that her employee was having an affair with a married coworker, but wasn’t sure if she knew that the guy was married — and the employee in question saw the letter on the manager’s screen. I’ve also occasionally heard privately from someone who says, “I think I’m in the office where this is happening, and here’s the other side of the story.”
I will say that sometimes people think they recognize a situation and they’re wrong (there’s a key detail that’s different) or the situation happens enough that they couldn’t possibly know it’s theirs. And generally I want people to feel comfortable writing in here without having to worry that people will try to guess who they are! But it’s an interesting topic, so let’s open it up for the comment section!
The post what happens when someone recognizes your letter to an advice column? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
What song is Mamdani quoting here?
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:10 pmask_metafilter_feedAt 20:07-20:09 in this video, after taking a bite of Taco Bell "pizza," Zohran Mamdani sings the words "and after all" and it's clearly some kind of jokey reference. It feels familiar but I can't nail down what the song is. What is it?
Community Recs Post!
Mar. 26th, 2026 10:05 amglitteryv posting in recthethingEvery Thursday, we have a community post, just like this one, where you can drop a rec or five in the comments.
This works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)
(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)
So what cool fanvids/other kinds of fanworks/fancrafts/fanart/fics/podfics have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.
BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here.
This works great if you only have one rec and don't want to make a whole post for it, or if you don't have a DW account, or if you're shy. ;)
(But don't forget: you can deffo make posts of your own seven days a week. ;D!)
So what cool fanvids/other kinds of fanworks/fancrafts/fanart/fics/podfics have we discovered this week? Drop it in the comments below. Anon comment is enabled.
BTW, AI fanworks are not eligible for reccing at recthething. If you aware that a fanwork is AI-generated, please do not rec it here.
In the end, bitch survived
Mar. 26th, 2026 11:14 ammetafilter_feedToday, bitch wears hundreds of faces. Since its earliest form, bicce, it has spawned a host of creative respellings, many of them modern, like 'biznatch', 'biatch', 'bish' and others besides. It appears in dozens of idioms and stock phrases, from 'resting bitch face' and 'bitch tits' to 'Bitch, please!' and 'Life's a bitch, and then you die.' This is a word that's very much alive. [Aeon] [CW: lots of swear words]
Island council considers total ban on all new pet cats
Mar. 26th, 2026 08:44 ammetafilter_feedIsland council considers total ban on all new pet cats. Kangaroo Island Council is considering banning the introduction of all new cats to the island, in a move the mayor is calling the last cat policy (existing pet cats will be allowed to live out their natural lifespan in place, but no new cats will be brought in). If successful, the ban would make the South Australian island one of the world's biggest inhabited islands to be free of cats. Kangaroo Island has a population of 4894 humans. Its main industries are farming and tourism. It is the last refuge for many endangered native species, especially small marsupials. (Australia)
(no subject)
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haunted hotel on a work trip, my intern is terrible, and more
Mar. 26th, 2026 04:03 amaskamanager_feedIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. I don’t want to stay in a haunted hotel on a work trip
I’m a junior employee at a smaller firm (100-200 employees). I travel about once a month for work and typically stay in generic hotels. I’m heading to a small town on my next trip and the project manager suggested we stay at a cute old historic property. Not a problem, I go to book, and it says the hotel has a friendly ghost.
I am absolutely petrified of ghosts and paranormal things — think years and years of weekly therapy. The two people I’m traveling with are more senior than I am, and I’m a little embarrassed to say, “Hey, I know you’ve stayed here before but actually I will be an absolutely terrified mess throughout the entire trip.” Thoughts on how to approach this?
Just own it and be matter-of-fact and breezy about it (even though that’s probably the last way you’re feeling): “I’m really freaked out by places that say they’re haunted and I saw the hotel advertises that way. Could we stay somewhere else? Or would you mind if I did?” That should be all it takes! But if they blow off your concerns, then you could say, “I know it’s not rational, but I want to make sure I can focus during this trip so I’m going to make a separate booking somewhere else for me.”
2. How do I tell interviewers I’m looking for a quieter work environment?
I am looking to move on from my current job, because I can no longer tolerate the noise level of my working environment. I work in an open plan lab with a number of people who all want music playing or have no preference. This used to come from a small radio in the corner of the lab, which was annoying but tolerable, but now it is a speaker box design that also connects to people’s phones and can be loud enough to make conversation difficult, depending on who last set it and their taste in music.
I find this incredibly distracting and very unpleasant. I have no problem with sound caused by normal activities or conversation, but I can’t cope with this. I am trying to set up and run complex analysis where a moment’s inattention can ruin days of work (and trigger weeks of investigations) while unable to hear myself think because I have music I would never choose to listen to continually intruding on my thoughts. I seem to have no ability to shut this out and I am making an above average number of errors because of this. This has lead to me being put on a PIP focused on reducing my number of errors, which I would consider fair except that no effort is being made to mitigate the cause of the problem.
Conversations with my manager have gone nowhere. She believes it is something the lab workers should sort out ourselves, and my coworkers seem to be operating on majority rules. If the radio is off, it is not long before someone switches it back on. There is nothing quite like having thrash metal suddenly switched on at full volume when you are pouring out measures of neat sulphuric acid. Earbuds or noise-cancelling gear are banned due to health and safety requirements that we be able to hear alarms, I can’t work anywhere but the lab most of the day, and I was recently restricted in the number of breaks I can take. I finish almost every day stressed out, exhausted, and paranoid about the errors I may have made, which makes relaxing and recovering at home much harder than it should be. The rare exceptions when I have a quiet day, I finish my tasks early with far fewer errors and walk out of work feeling relaxed and confident instead of dreading the next day.
I am now trying to search for a job where this will not be an issue, but I am having difficulty with motivation, partly because of the exhaustion but mainly because there is no way to guarantee I will not encounter the same problem in a new job. I am also concerned that prospective employers will not consider this a good reason for moving on and may regard me as potentially unreliable or not a team player because of this. Are there any good ways to discuss this at interview or answer the question “why are you leaving your current job?” that will let me weed out similar situations without hurting my application with other employers? I just want to work in a lab and not a disco.
First, it’s ridiculous that your manager won’t do anything about this when your work is suffering from it. Is there any way you can escalate the situation, either over her head or to HR? The company’s interest should be in work getting done correctly and people being able to work comfortably, not in prioritizing music above that. It’s true that some people work better with music, but I doubt the effect on them of removing the music would equal the effect on you of leaving it on.
But as for job-searching, you don’t need to get into this at all. Focus on what interests you about the job you’re applying for, not what’s driving you to leave the current one. The exception to this is if you haven’t been there long enough for that to work (like if you’ve only been there six months and so you’d look flaky for wanting to leave so fast with no explanation), in which case you could say, “Kind of a weird issue, but the lab is really loud — there’s a loud radio playing all day long and I’ve found it’s hard to focus.” That’s not going to make you look unreliable.
3. My intern is terrible and my manager won’t do anything
I work in a technology for education company and my job involves data analysis, customer support, and project strategies. I am not in the U.S., if it’s relevant. Because we’ve had many new projects thrown on us, we hired two interns to help with daily activities. One of these interns, Peter, took some time to get used to the routine, but now he’s great and we trust him fully. He’s also leaving by the end of this week, which is why I’m so worried. The other intern, who I’ll call Jane, is much younger and very immature.
Jane thinks it’s more important to be fast than to be correct. She thinks that if she can do all her tasks in two hours, she’ll have two more hours to do nothing, since she works four hours a day, four days a week. She also does customer support, but she’s terrible at it. She’ll give wrong answers to our customers and not think about it. She’s rude when a client calls and doesn’t say the right things either. She often just doesn’t do what she’s supposed to do and leaves her work to me or Peter. She asks basic questions about our projects that she’s supposed to know, given she’s been with us for almost a year now. Last week, she asked me if she could share a spreadsheet we use that contains all students’ information with one student because he asked for the certificate of his course. The spreadsheet doesn’t even have certificates in it! When I try to talk to her about these things, she just doesn’t respond.
I’ve taken this to our manager and our project manager a million times, but every time they talk to her she says things are great and she’s happy to be learning. Except she’s not learning anything! It’s driving me and my other colleagues crazy. Is there something else I can do while my manager evaluates the situation? I feel like half the time I’m working I’m just fixing her mistakes and I’m close to burning out due to how exhausted I am.
You need to say clearly to your manager that the issue isn’t whether Jane feels things are great and is happy to be learning; it’s that she’s rude to customers, gives them wrong info, doesn’t complete her work, and isn’t responsive to feedback, and you’re spending hours fixing her mistakes. If you’ve already said that clearly … well, then your manager is actually the bigger problem than Jane and is wildly inept! You can try saying it again, spelling it out very, very clearly and emphasizing the impact on you.
But if that doesn’t work, are you able to just not pick up Jane’s slack? Right now, because you’re doing all the work of fixing Jane’s messes, your manager isn’t feeling the pain of the situation the way you are. Try dropping your end of that rope and see if that makes the situation feel more urgent for your boss. (And yes, it can be painful to do that if you’re a conscientious person! But it doesn’t make sense to care about fixing these problems more than your boss does, and letting him see the issues more clearly might be the only thing that will make this better.)
4. I dropped my badge in the toilet
I just dropped my badge in the toilet. I have been on back-to-back calls and ran to the bathroom before my next one, heard a fling-clink right as I sat down and … well, nature called before I could get it, if you catch my drift.
WHAT DO I SAY WHEN REQUESTING A NEW ONE? There is no amount of cleaning that is going to make me be able to wear it again.
“I accidentally dropped my badge in the toilet.”
You don’t need to explain anything further than that. The details here are entertaining for us but unnecessary for your office.
5. How long should it take for HR to fix a payroll mistake?
I just realized that job I’ve been on unpaid leave of absence from for the past few months has continued to pay me via direct deposit this whole time. I should have realized sooner, especially since HR kept doing / asking / sending me weird things (they initially refused to confirm my past employment for my employer during the leave and seemed to think that doing so would make me lose something, they’ve sent me updates on raises which they should only do for people currently on payroll, etc.) and HR has a history of screwing up, but I didn’t, so now I’m left holding the bag and needing to fix this mess.
Thanks to your column, I know I owe them this money back (five figures). I’d rather pay it in one lump sum to get this fixed as quickly as possible, and thankfully I do have it liquid, so I have made sure the same account they were direct depositing to has enough money for them to claw it back without overdrafting. I asked them for an estimate of when they will do so, when they will fix my assorted withholding (such as state tax, federal tax, and union dues), and an estimate of when they will send my corrected W2.
Is there anything else I need to be doing or asking them for? How long is this likely to take a competent HR department, and how long for an incompetent HR? It’d be nice to have a check on whatever they say.
You have all the correct questions covered. You should expect them to fix it by the next payroll, two payrolls at most. If it takes longer than that (particularly since you need a corrected W2 to file your taxes next month), you should escalate it. (To be clear, if they owed you money, they should fix it by the next payroll, period.)
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You Try to Get Out, I Kept Dragging You Back In
Mar. 26th, 2026 03:00 ammetafilter_feedWhy I Got Out Of The Gambling Business There are broadly speaking two types of gamblers: valuable and not valuable.
All are referred to as customers. The latter group are dilettantes. These people deposit maybe once or twice, usually to take advantage of a first-time deposit promotion, but rarely or never again after that. Maybe they don't care much for sports, or are turned off by the way betting on sports makes watching sports miserable. Or maybe they tried the slots, and the slow drain of money down to zero left them feeling empty. Whatever the case, they don't have the itch. These customers are not valuable. gift link
All are referred to as customers. The latter group are dilettantes. These people deposit maybe once or twice, usually to take advantage of a first-time deposit promotion, but rarely or never again after that. Maybe they don't care much for sports, or are turned off by the way betting on sports makes watching sports miserable. Or maybe they tried the slots, and the slow drain of money down to zero left them feeling empty. Whatever the case, they don't have the itch. These customers are not valuable. gift link
What's this guy listening to?
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:31 amask_metafilter_feedIt's 2023 in NYC. The 32-year-old anesthesiologist who lives in the apartment upstairs and works odd hours is blasting his music, driving my protagonist to think murderous thoughts. What's he listening to?
How does current Everlane sizing compare to older Everlane?
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:28 amask_metafilter_feedI have a pair of size 10 Everlane jeans from about 2018 that fit pretty well. In the intervening years, they appear to have changed to a waistband diameter model, and according to their sizing chart I should be a 32, aka size 14.
I no longer live by a store and want to buy non-returnable sale jeans. What size am I?? Especially appreciate the perspective of anyone who owns both old and new Everlane jeans.
I no longer live by a store and want to buy non-returnable sale jeans. What size am I?? Especially appreciate the perspective of anyone who owns both old and new Everlane jeans.
I don't know what to do with dried lima beans
Mar. 26th, 2026 01:07 amask_metafilter_feedI have dry lima beans and I don't know how to cook them.
I only know how to cook frozen lima beans (microwave according to bag instructions) and I eat those straight. My partner, however, would probably rather die. How do I make dry lima beans into delicious food? Soak and cook with onions, same as other beans? Is there a go-to recipe? I have Christmas limas and some generic pale lima beans. If you can believe it, they were a gift.
Any suggestions welcome; vegetarian preferred but I'm open to whatever short of cannibalism.
I only know how to cook frozen lima beans (microwave according to bag instructions) and I eat those straight. My partner, however, would probably rather die. How do I make dry lima beans into delicious food? Soak and cook with onions, same as other beans? Is there a go-to recipe? I have Christmas limas and some generic pale lima beans. If you can believe it, they were a gift.
Any suggestions welcome; vegetarian preferred but I'm open to whatever short of cannibalism.